Soooo… where’s the recipe?

MxM111 avatar

You need a slow cooker to access this recipe, duh…


But all of my slow cookers are busy running Skyrim


Do I put the Internet in the slow cooker?


The other way around


In… in my butt?


Your butt must be really big to fit the world wide web inside

@MrRazamataz@lemmy.razbot.xyz avatar

“Please press the button on your slow cooker to confirm its existence before continuing.”


I’m slow and I’m the only one cooking this so I don’t understand what i need for the recipe—

@buzz@lemmy.world avatar

Interesting. Thats how my father died too. Probably a common cause in older people, not bad way to go tbh - u ought to be drunk out of your mind not feeling anything anyways

@aard@kyu.de avatar

And I thought that’ll be about Patrick Stewart.


I have been pulling recipes off of ChatGPT because of this nonsense.


ooh, just you wait until chatgpt learns how to write recipes “properly”


Fuck, that is going to be so irritating when it can create long responses with “relevant” ads.


I’ve been using RSS for blogs I like / trust and using they for new recipe discovery


I use a terrific app called Paprika. It strips the nonsense SEO trash off and saves it locally in categories with pictures from the site. It can scale recipes up and down by whatever you percentage you want and can also convert metric to freedom units, etc. It can build shopping lists if you want for it to.

Patches, (edited )

You aren’t mentioning the best parts.

Paprika can synchronize recipes across multiple devices and it doesn’t cost a membership.

You can set up an entire family with all of the recipes. No longer must you print them out, and hand them out like some kind of filthy peasant. Or worse hand over that Bobby Flay cookbook from 1932. Jst click save on your own end, and they already have it. You can also share them as professional looking emails.

Paprika can also scale the recipe with each ingredient. E.g. you scale that crack chicken recipe from 1x to 4x because you’ve got family coming. Now instead of fumbling through 4.8 tsp Oil times 4 - it’ll just list . 5 Cup Oil.


I didn’t want to oversell it because it’s “just” a recipe app. 😊

It also has a setting that prevents your phone from going to lock screen. I can’t tell you how helpful that is when your hands are covered in biscuit dough or hamburger meat.


Ooh this is brilliant. I actually bought some recipe books because I was so fucking sick of scrolling through 40 paragraphs of bullshit about the blogger’s life before they put the fucking 6 ingredient list up


If we find something (usually on Pinterest) that we like, I will paste it in a Word document, format it, print it out, and put it in the recipe binder that sits in our kitchen counter. It’s old school but it works.


I fucking hate these. Also made me think about making my own website with simple straight to the point recipies.


Sadly no one would find it because of SEO.

@Kuma@lemmy.world avatar

I got you whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com

(Click the meals name to get the recipe)

do not visit the site if curse words isn’t your thing


Today I Learned!

This is going in my bookmarks next to motherfuckingwebsite.com

@tja@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’ve been wanting to create a GraphQL-powered Docker container that allows you to “plug in” various recipe websites.

I’d almost rather write a query from scratch than scroll at this point.


If Ted Kaczynski ever cooked you something in a pot I recommend leaving and calling the bomb squad.


If Ted Kaczynski ever cooks something for me I’m calling an exorcist. Man’s dead


And yet his vision of anti technology anarchism lives o… who am I kidding.

@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

Teddie would never use a slow cooker, that’s post industrial technology


The most unrealistic thing about this is the fact that they get to the recipe after just one paragraph; the real version of this would have like 27 photos of the father, a long essay about growing up and his various demons, etc, and there would be at least half a dozen banners about things gut doctors are begging you not to eat along the way.


you’ll need a slow cooker, like the one my dad inherited to me after his death. and lemme tell ya, it was one fine slow cooker […]

ivanafterall avatar

At least one or two sepia photos of the whole family gathered 'round a big pot of stew.


The only way to actually see the recipe on one page is to hit the print recipe button

@pancakes@sh.itjust.works avatar

The actual recipe would have the full police report, crime scene photos, and a catalogue of every item submitted into evidence.


No no the real recipe is found buried in a list of court documents pertaining to the case.


Recipe is actually at the local courthouse, in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory. Beware of the leopard.


Ok but I got the sword hidden behind the shed at the start, so can I use that on the leopard or dies that game over you?


The real recipe were the friends we made a long the way.

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