JWBananas avatar

Oh, it's you.


The legend came back from his camping trip with a butthole smelling like freshly cut grass. Mission success.

Now a bigger task await.

WytchStar avatar

Has it been 3 days already?

iAmTheTot avatar

Is it me you've been looking for?

@rarkgrames@lemmy.world avatar

I’m utterly convinced at this point this dude is pranking us HARD. 🤣


I don't care if it's real. I laughed so hard when I read the title. I immediately knew who posted it lol

@Periwinkledot@lemmy.world avatar

Let me introduce you to my girl here. 😁 Acupressure Points For Constipation


So I'm going to assume the no poop mission was a success.

@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

It sure was. The resulting constipation was hell though.

@TairikuOkami@lemmy.world avatar

Magnesium Citrate, virtually everyone is deficient, so it will help either way.


I used this when prepping for a colonoscopy. All I'll say is be ready to have access to a toilet within like 5 minutes after drinking it. Also get the grape flavor bottle, it's yummy.


Cooked broccoli.

You can eat a whole bag of it, like 32oz, and it’s only ~500 calories too, which is great. I love eating it with teriyaki sauce.

Another commenter said bananas, but they always make me more constipated. Lol.

If you want to try a non-food item, I swear by psyllium (seed husk) fiber capsules. But, you HAVE to drink a lot of water with it.

Apologize in advance to your butt. I hope you didn’t give yourself a hemorrhoid.

Also, I tend to find that my gut bacteria is off after I get constipated, and I’ll have a couple days of diarrhea. Eating yogurt (with live bacteria) for the next few days fixes my gut bacteria and gets my shits back to normal. So maybe pick up some yogurt while you’re shopping for anti-constipation food.

Good luck 🍀


Coffee always does it for me. Regular roughage is always good with plenty of greens.


The advice is good but also consider going for a hard run. That usually helps me. There is a lot of data to suggest healthy digestion requires regular movement and particularly exercise.


Regular movement results in regular movement.


Real answer: Saline enema. Laxatives (prune juice), stimulants (coffee), and opioids (kratom) might help in some cases (actually probably not the opioids, those are likely to make it worse), but if your constipation is really severe and you want immediate relief then an enema is the way to go. You can pickup prefilled enema kits at most drug stores.

FixedFun avatar

I sadly had an enema, I hated it but it did make me feel better, now I just have IBS


So are we going to get an explanation on the 3 poopless days?

@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Sorry but I really can’t 🥲


Personally, I've found binge drinking to be the most fun way to clear yourself out.

After that, lots of greasy foods will grease up your insides.

@EuroNutellaMan@lemmy.world avatar

So you gave yourself constipation in order to not poop for 3 days... can you tellbus what you were doing now?


I’m so confused on this dudes post history. Intentionally clearing himself out and giving himself constipation but with access to toilets and an air conditioned tent??

This is either the biggest shitpost ever or some kind of evacuation fetish.

Shits crazy.


I'll just say that there's a reason for the old people eating prunes stereotype.

@Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

I love these posts. But Imma be pissed off if we find out mizu is Gallowboob or some fucker like that from reddit.

@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

mizu is what


Prune juice. Just be sure to clear your calendar and plan to spend the next couple of hours near a clean bathroom.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favourites
  • nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
  • Mobpsycho100
  • rhentai
  • Islamabad
  • DreamBathrooms
  • exegypt
  • BeAmazed
  • Gonewildcouples
  • Babyfurs
  • plantedtank
  • QPR
  • silesia
  • Youngstown
  • jailbait
  • SlimeRancher
  • RealDayTrading
  • USExpatTaxes
  • askwomen
  • Radiomaster
  • LipsThatGrip
  • Recollectr
  • InstantRegret
  • slotface
  • TeamSpeak
  • onlyfansadvice
  • LegendOfDragoon
  • oldschoolgamer
  • Durango
  • osvaldo12
  • All magazines