tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

playing Starfield and listen I don’t know if I’m gonna need that thing later or whatever so I’m just gonna take it and nobody told me my ship had a cargo compartment and I had to put it all SOMEWHERE so

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

where was that store? I need a map.

Starfield: here’s the surface of the planet

But I- Starfield: look it’s the WHOLE planet!

no-

Starfield: the whole planet IN SPAAACE!

can I see a local-

Starfield: universe? Here you go! :D

I’m gonna sit in this lobby and cry

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

found this in Starfield on a table in a dive bar on Mars so…

it’s basically entirely indistinguishable from LA

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

some jackbooted jerks took me into custody over some spacesuit I ALLEGEDLY stole and tried to conscript me into spy service against people they CLAIM are criminals but I’m no cop

so anyway that’s why the entire navy now hates me and threw me in Starfield jail

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

more

Sarah: we really need to get to Venus

mmhm

Sarah: our path leads-

hey Sarah

Sarah: but Venus-

Sarah look at my collection of stuffies I found and… uh, acquired

Sarah: …

do you- do you think Constellation is proud of me Sarah?

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

more

Sarah
Sarah
hey Sarah

Sarah: siiiiigh

look how many MORE stuffies I have! do you think Constellation is proud of me NOOOOWWWWW??

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

So I says to Sarah, I says “is Constellation proud of me nowwwww?!”

Dad: She’s standing right there.

she’s ignoring us for something fascinating in the corner. or maybe she’s ashamed of me.

Dad: sigh Tilly

ps - Tim Russ as my dad is 🩷

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

can we get a selfie?

Mom: You know I don’t know how those cameras work

look over here

Mom: your grandmother, she understood tech. she was a marine!

over here

Mom: I should give you her old armor.

okay but just turn your head

Nana Visitor as my mom is the best 💜

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

brb I’m dead

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah. hey Sarah.

Sarah: not again

do you see my helmet

Sarah: can we not

what does the helmet say? on the tape?

Sarah: you know what it says.

no I can’t read it from inside. you have to tell me.

Sarah: sigh it says “don’t use”

I’M A RULE BREAKER, SARAH

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

I can’t carry any more

Sarah: but-

YOU can’t carry any more

Sarah: …

it had to go somewhere

Sarah: Why do you even have this stuff?

…reasons?

Sarah: what could you possibly need a plunger for in space?

don’t go in the cargo bay if you don’t want to find out

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: what are you doing up there?

posing in front of the neon Neon sign

Sarah: why?

have you SEEN what humidity does to these curls? I gotta document it before it’s frizz city

Sarah: there’s no Frizz City on this planet. just how much aurora are you on?

shhhh

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

I really love looting kitchens

Sarah: despite the bloody corpse on the floor?

girl’s still gotta eat

Sarah: and you’ll take every half-eaten sandwich and pack of spicy worms, but I notice you left the black licorice drink…

I’m not a monster, Sarah

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

why… are you in the Astral Lounge?

Dad: why are YOU?

uh… my girlfriend-

Sarah: do NOT bring me into this.

Mom: is it bad if I like a little aurora now and then? So what? Your father and I like to get a bit freaky-

NOPE. time to go. god I hope no one saw this.

juergen_hubert,
@juergen_hubert@thefolklore.cafe avatar

@tillybridges Huh. You Starfield mom and dad look very similar to my Starfield mom and dad.

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

@juergen_hubert perhaps your Starfield you looks similar to my Starfield me

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah, look. Look.

Sarah: why are you dressed like that?

why are THEY?

Sarah: they’re dancers.

you see that doesn’t answer my question tho

Sarah: you said your parents were embarrassing you and then you do THIS?

now I’m embarrassing YOU it’s entirely different

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

OMG you’re BorealUS!

BorealUS: uh, yeah?

out of all the DJs I first heard about in the last two minutes, you’re my fave

BorealUS: I don’t think you’re allowed to be up here

Sarah, get a photo!

Sarah: I think security’s coming

JUST TAKE THE PHOTO IT’LL BE HOT

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: I told you security was coming.

it was just a photo!

Sarah: how’d you like it if BorealUS came to get a selfie with you while you were… what is it you do? raid fridges at Spacer outposts?

uh …can you make that happen?!

Sarah: I can’t believe I’m dating you.

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: thank you. I couldn’t have done this alone.

Of course, you’re a Top Lady

Sarah: We Top Ladies should head back to the ship.

SHH I like watching your hair in the wind

Sarah: …

Does my-

Sarah: YES I ALSO LIKE WATCHING YOUR HAIR IN THE WIND.

there it is

Animated gif of my Starfield character and Sarah standing in front of a forest, looking at each other, as their hair gently blows in the wind

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

YOU want to marry ME?

Sarah: I honestly can’t believe it either. yet here we are in front of my favorite industrial concrete waterfall…

ah, romance

Sarah: but let’s make it quick, we need to get back-

I’m gonna say it

Sarah: you don’t h-

INTO THE !

Sarah: sigh

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

so this is what you want, just us and Aja on Paradiso?

Sarah: Yes but-

sand in your shoes?

Sarah: Well, yes actually but… why is her face all lit up?

prolly cause she saw who you were marrying and got light-headed

Sarah: …

look, it’s not too late to back out

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

HEY EVRYBDY I GOT MRRUED

Sarah: What on earth.

N. OW WER ON HUNEMoON

Sarah: We need to get-

VECATUON IS IMPORTNT SRAH

Sarah: I know you’re not drunk. You haven’t so much as touched alcohol.

okay but the bikini’s a nice touch though?

Sarah: I’m not complaining.

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: Constellation needs us back at the Lodge.

I am on vacation!

Sarah: We have responsibilities.

where else am I gonna sit under a weird too-tiny umbrella, Sarah? WHERE

Sarah: You have odd priorities.

hey I’M not the one wearing a LEATHER JACKET on a BEACH

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: There’s an awful lot of sitting on this vacation.

heck yeah, it’s highly underrated

Sarah: There are better uses of our time.

are there? you sure seem to be enjoying the view…

Sarah: That’s not the point.

isn’t it, Sarah? ISN’T IT?

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: I can’t believe you’re sitting again.

look I wasn’t gonna-

Sarah: Mmhm.

but I was just walking by-

Sarah: And?

there’s pierogis, Sarah. just sitting here. unattended.

Sarah: We can eat back-

NEVER LEAVE A PIEROGI BEHIND

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: You’re in jail again?! It was the pierogis, wasn’t it?

they were just sitting on the table! there was no one around!

Sarah: That doesn’t make them yours, you know.

IF YOU ABANDON THE TABLE YOUR PIEROGIS ARE FAIR GAME THAT’S THE LAW!

Sarah: Apparently not.

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: Let see, they’ve got you on piracy…

I only pirate from pirates, but okay

Sarah: Being a public nuisance…

often

Sarah: Aggravated skullduggery…

fair

Sarah: Cuisine larceny-

THOSE PIEROGIS WERE FAIR GAME THAT’S THE LAW

Sarah: Still not true.

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: You’re in jail again!

technically a brig, I MAYBE took uniforms from the crew but y’know at least I change my clothes!

Sarah: I’ll change anytime you want, if you just tell me what to wear.

…do you flirt with everyone like this, or just the incarcerated?

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: Why are you kneeling?

why are you sitting?

Sarah: Just… taking in that it’s -267 degrees, and we got frostbite through our suits as you search spaceship wreckage for one more package of spiced worms.

is that… not what you expected married life to be?

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: Why is there a bucket of tentacles sitting outside on this moon?

I’m gonna open my vents and smell ‘em

Sarah: Why w-

oh that was a mistake

Sarah: How surprising.

help me get my helmet off

Sarah: Then you’ll die.

preferable to smelling this

Sarah: sigh

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: I don’t understand.

you said you’d wear anything if I told you to…

Sarah: That was innuendo! I didn’t think you’d put me in THIS.

I’m full of surprises

Sarah: But why are we wearing these?

WE’RE SPACE LESBIANS WE HAVE TO REPRESENT OUR PEOPLE SARAH

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: This is it?

I saved up all my space dollars for it

Sarah: I don’t recall the paint job being so-

me?

Sarah: Well, not to put too fine a point on it.

you don’t think it’s too subtle, do you? you don’t think people will land at the spaceport and not see it?

my teeny Starfield character standing, arms spread wide as if to say BEHOLD THE MAJESTY, atop the cockpit of my Shieldbreaker which is HOT PINK with white and black trim

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: Why would you get a ship with bunk beds? Open to the entire ship? When we… do things that married people do that we might not want others to see?

Sarah

Sarah: Tilly?

how else am I supposed to know if you’re a top or a bottom HEYOOOO HIGH FIVE

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

having a little trouble getting out of bed this morning?

Sarah: You think you’re so funny, don’t you?

well I try

Sarah: Just get me out, will you? I don’t even know how this happened!

listen, space is weird

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

remember what we said when we got married?

Sarah: We’d never let anyone come between us. Think that’s going to hold up in space court?

it was self-defense tho

Sarah: I suppose they’d have to find us first.

…maybe leaving a trail of dead mercenaries was a bad idea

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

I just wanted to find out what happened to the poor scientists!

Sarah: Well. You see where your curiosity has gotten us.

they’re flying right at me!

Sarah: Pssh. They don’t even have wings.

flying right at me!

Sarah: They can’t-

…told you they could fly

(the video is was better than these stills but masto said nah not today)

My Starfield character firing explosives at the extra large… mother? alien bug
My Starfield character watches the extra large… mother? alien bug thing’s carcass fly through the air from the force of an explosion

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: What are-

I’m doing a business! I want the labor on the assembly line doubled and someone to read me my email and cut my food for me!

Sarah: Mr. Hope’s standing right there.

Hope: I am literally standing right here.

NOT NOW I AM DOING A BUSINESS

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

if I stand up here people might think I’m the one who felled this monstrosity

Sarah: You’re not supposed to climb on the displays.

I am the display!

Sarah: …

falls, gets massive contusions

I bet I fell like a badass would. Sarah? I- oh god get a med pack

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: We didn’t get insurance when we rented the room.

nah that’s a scam

Sarah: And yet it seems now you’ve broken the very expensive viewer…

okay first of all that is a TELEVISION and second why do you assume-

Sarah: Didn’t you?

I didn’t… not break it

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: I was only gone for five minutes!

it’s not what it looks like

Sarah: Really. Because it looks like you’re standing next to a knife stuck in my side of the bed with viscera splattered all over the wall.

…okay it’s exactly what it looks like

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah look I’m on stage and this lady is shocked prolly cause I’m so cool

Sarah: It’s because you just agreed to run the Red Mile.

I can run a mile no prob I’m super fit

Sarah: You do know it’s full of monsters that want to kill you?

…wait that’s not cool at all

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar
tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

I can see my ship, hi ship!

Sarah: We’re married so isn’t that OUR ship?

are you ready for that kind of responsibility

Sarah: …

you have to love her, let her out at night to make boom-booms

Sarah: Boo-

SHE GETS BACKED UP IF YOU DON’T EXERCISE HER LASERS OKAY

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: And why are we up here?

thought you’d enjoy the view

Sarah: It’s just the top of the ship.

i’m not talking about that

Sarah: It’s… very pink?

no

Sarah: Then wh-

HAVE YOU SEEN MY RUMP IN THESE PANTS

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

hey Sarah do you see what the sign says?

Sarah: Mm, this is some joke about you and all those pierogis, isn’t it?

no it’s because the cabinet is full of gas canisters how dare you besmirch my greatest love

Sarah: I thought I was-

okay it’s a tie

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

loookit me and grandma

Sarah: That woman’s a stranger who invited us over and said to call her that for reasons I’m not clear on.

OK BUT SHE GAVE ME A PEAR HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY NO

Sarah: If I give you a pear, can we go?

make it pierogis and you’ve got a deal

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

she sure is a beaut

Sarah: That color… there’s something to be said for it against the dull and lifeless sky, a symbol of light and hope against the crushing void-

Sarah: You were talking about your rump again, weren’t you?

I can talk about two things

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: Why is this man nearly naked?

well I don’t know!

Sarah: Because this seems like Tilly shenanigans.

this cannot stand, Imma fight him

Sarah: You’re unarmed.

these fists are registered weapons in sixteen systems

Sarah: …I’ll meet you at the jail.

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Guard: Ma’am please do not climb on the displays.

I am the display!

Sarah: Not again.

I’m queen of earth!

Sarah: Earth’s a dead dust ball.

Guard: MA’AM-

falls, breaks leg

Guard: Please collect your wife.

Sarah: I… don’t know her.

weakly queen of earth!

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Parent: It looks so real.

Kid: Can I pull her curls?

excuse me the sign says do not touch

Guard: MA’AM I TOLD YOU NO CLIMBING ON THE DISPLAYS!

I AM THE DISPLAY! ALSO I CAN’T CLIMB MY LEG IS BROKEN AND THIS LIGHTING MAKES ME LOOK TOUGH

Sarah: Does it though?

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: So you punched the naked man.

he had it comin’

Sarah: And ruined two museum displays.

um, excuse me i made them BETTER

Sarah: I can’t believe you’re in jail again.

i can’t believe you can’t believe that

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: Jail again.

not my fault!

Sarah: Then whose is it?!

uh the people who made the dingaling laws

Sarah: That’s what you’re going with?

Andreja: I can’t believe you two are married.

Sarah: Love makes fools of some of us.

…do we have any pierogis left orrrr

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah. hey Sarah. slide with me

Sarah: Absolutely not.

no it’s fun your boots keep you dry

Sarah: Your boots have titanium grips for rocky terrain.

Sarah: All that sliding has carved up the ice. I can see it cracking.

Sarah. hey Sarah. help

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

okay maybe i’m not queen of earth but I AM queen of space

Sarah: Space has no queen.

i beg to differ

Sarah: The sovereignty of planets wou-

i can cause eruptions on cue

Sarah: …the schedule’s posted on signs.

geysers erupt

QUEEN OF SPACE

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: Going over the cargo manifest before leaving port.

sure, gotta do it

Sarah: Helium-3 for grav jumps…

yep

Sarah: 1500 3kV laser cartridges…

i go pew pew and keep us Top Ladies safe

Sarah: 53 pounds… of pierogis.

Sarah: …

listen a woman has needs

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

why are you smirking

Sarah: I warned you this would happen.

what no you don’t know what i’m gonna say

Sarah: Don’t I?

Sarah: Would you like me to disentangle your curls from that spacesuit now?

would you please this is very unbecoming for the queen of space

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

flyin’ through space, doot doot do de do

Sarah: Not again.

flyin’ in your face, doot doot do de do

Sarah: Why.

cause it’s catchy, doot doot do de do

Sarah: But-

yeah you bet-chy…

Sarah: …

Sarah: …doot doot do de do.

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

omigod bro

Sarah: Tilly!

NOT ONE MORE STEP BRO

Sarah: Guards are coming!

if not wanting to see a rando in his skivvies is wrong, I don’t want to be right

Sarah: TILLY!

these fists are about to get registered in a seventeenth system

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

whatcha doin’

Sarah: I think it’s time to upgrade the power plant. How’re the readings on your end?

the… stbd? is… low? but the… bblwap? looks… wait

Sarah: You have no idea what any of that means, do you?

listen I just make it go zooms and do booms

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

thank you for coming

Andreja: What’s this about?

my stuffie collection has outgrown my bed so I’m gonna need lots more space

Sarah: You did not call this-

all in favor of electing me President of Constellation so I can get the big bedroom raise your hand

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: “President” of Constellation?

ok it’s called “Chair” but-

Sarah: And who’s the Chair?

is it-

Sarah: You’ve had access to that bedroom. Many times.

but it’s not any bigger

Sarah: It’s not about the size, it’s how you use it.

wait no I’m the joke teller

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: But how are we supposed to get any sleep?

have you tried it

Sarah: …

just try it tho

Sarah lies down

Sarah: Okay that’s actually very nice. But there’s no room for you.

THIS IS WHY WE NEED MORE ROOM you’re missing the best part

Sarah: Am I?

Sarah is lying on her right side in bed, facing the camera, buried under the megapile of stuffies

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: This apartment’s ours?

mhm

Sarah: You said New Atlantis was full of “bougie jerkingtons.”

yeah

Sarah: Then why-

it’s your home

Sarah: You did this… for me?

you’re MY home

Sarah: …

but also i put a lesbian action movie poster on the wall i’m good

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: A lesbian action movie poster.

pew pew kissy kiss!

Sarah: …

because we’re lesbians and i have a laser rifle

Sarah: Mm. The men being annihilated by lasers in the background IS a nice touch…

see i know what you like

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

Sarah: What’s all this on the counter?

remember what you said right after we got married

Sarah: “I have things for you.”

it was that flower i saved it

Sarah: …

our apartment may be empty but i’ve got you, your flower, and my estrogen shots

that’s all I need

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

so actually we do have one piece of furniture

Sarah: Is it… a bed?

hell yeah

Sarah: Is it… bigger than the old one?

you know it is babe

Sarah: Ooh, so we Top Lady wives can-

Sarah: …well, I don’t know what I was expecting.

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

there’s a nice balcony

Sarah: I can see half of New Atlantis from here!

and the best part

Sarah: The warmth of the sun on our faces?

no

Sarah: The… delightful companionship?

almost

Sarah: …we can see the ship from here?

WE CAN SEE THE SHIP FROM HERE HI SHIP

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

breathtaking

Sarah: The entire galaxy out there waiting to be explored.

yeh

Sarah: The majesty of distance and time, matter and energy, the power of the cosmos.

sure but also how you look up to me

Sarah: Why, because you’re on higher ground?

YOU RUINED THE JOKE

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

i found more alien tentacles

Sarah: At least you’re prepared.

what

Sarah: With the hazmat suit.

that’s just so i can be sure i don’t get any smell before i’m ready to

Sarah: You said the smell made you want to die.

yeh but sometimes i just need to feel alive

tillybridges,
@tillybridges@mastodon.social avatar

whatcha doin’

Sarah: If I tweak the Helium-3 intermix just right we can get a few more light years out of each grav jump, causing less overall use of the engine and thus prolong its life.

Sarah: I AM DOING A SPACE BUSINESS.

ok now you’re speaking my language

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