@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

AngelJamie

@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml

Mediocre musician and prog metal addict. Spams “:^)” too much. Any/all pronouns.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Non-Binary People and Assigned Sex at Birth

As a non-binary person, I often get asked, upon stating my gender identity, this question: “Are you AMAB or AFAB?”, and quite frankly, I hate it, and I think it reeks of bad intentions. Now, I don’t think anyone who asks this is explicitly enbyphobic. There’s a good chance that they just simply might not understand, but...

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

What you’re doing is the “socialization” argument here. Socialization isn’t universal on the basis of assigned sex at birth. Also, I don’t “disregard” it wholly. I just take it at face value. Assigned sex at birth is literally just that: assigned sex at birth, and I’ve even emphasized things like transition journey being relative to my assigned sex at birth with content like the very first bullet point in the post. It truly is just an event.

“Socialized male” ≠ AMAB

“Having a penis” ≠ AMAB

“Presenting masculine” ≠ AMAB

I could go on and on.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

It is semantic, yes. I disagree on “AMAB” and “socialized male” being interchangeable, and like I said, nothing is really universal in that context either. Different AMAB individuals get socialized differently, even in the context of gender, especially in relation to their circumstances in other ways.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

That’s another thing, though. Someone could have been assigned male at birth and be a non-binary woman too. You don’t need to make it a point to mention your assigned sex at birth to emphasize how you are a non-binary woman, as the label is applicable to non-binary people regardless of assigned sex at birth. Also, how society treats you, once again, is not explicitly because you were assigned female at birth. It’s because you present in a way that indicates to society that you are a woman in their eyes. Like, I understand what you’re coming from, but, in my view, it’s incredibly problematic to conflate the factor of you being “AFAB” with things that are not particularly relevant to it.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

And here’s the problem. I’m dismissing their point yes, but I do the same thing as you. I participate in a lot of spaces with transfeminine people myself, including binary trans women and transfeminine non-binary people like me. This is from a pragmatic perspective, though. If I want to learn more about feminizing effects of estrogen, then talking to AFAB trans people won’t be very helpful in comparison to talking to AMAB trans people about it.

This aspect of relating to trans people who share your assigned sex has nothing to even do with my initial response to their original comment. It was about the problematic description of “socialization”. I don’t argue that assigned sex at birth is irrelevant to socialization myself. I argue that it’s abused with transphobic intentions. As a matter of fact, the entirety of my post was to emphasize that people pry about assigned sex all the time in irrelevant matters. Funnily enough, in my original post, I didn’t even mention socialization. There is a major difference between saying “I want to interact with fellow AMAB trans people to relate my experience transitioning better” and doing things like I’ve mentioned in the post like “I want to ask enbies their assigned sex and intrude on their personal boundaries because I’m enbyphobic and don’t accept them for who they are.”, but people still get upset over this.

It’s very apparent that, even non-binary people themselves, engage in the “misgendering but woke” shit a lot. There are non-binary people who will separate non-binary people by assigned sex at birth, and this isn’t jack shit to do with socialization either. They do it because of internalized enbyphobia that usually comes with a side of sexism as well.

If you want to make your assigned sex at birth a part of who you are, I won’t stop you, but to me, I’m not comfortable doing it. Being comfortable with your assigned sex is literally just what being cis is, and I’m not even remotely cis.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

There is no universal “AFAB experience”, especially in relation to being trans. A trans man and a cis woman are both AFAB, but their experiences in relation to that fact are wildly different. I also don’t conflate assigned sex at birth with experience (to a large degree) and personality (to no degree at all). I think, depending on how you transition, this is less so about identifying with being “AFAB” and more so about identifying with transmasculine (if you identify with that term), but I’m not one to speak on your experience and how that manifests for you, so correct me if I’m wrong.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

And that’s the problem. It’s not universal, and at the end of the day, that’s why it differs for me. Something that someone can tie to “AFAB socialization” could easily apply to AMAB people in a lot of instances, for example. My main issue with the “AFAB/AMAB” shit is that it’s used to create a new binary, and enables people to misgender non-binary people because they see non-binary as “cis+” or something like that. As a non-binary person who explicitly wants nothing to do with the notion that I could be cis, this is what gets me the most. I assume bad faith in a lot of people, so anyone who asks me “AMAB or AFAB? I just want to know your socialization!”, yeah I don’t trust them either.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Brandon made me think of:

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/62c85e2e-55e3-4db8-8e56-d336b70e99ac.png

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I hope your name is Jennifer.

If not, hopefully a Jennifer gave you the pass.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

It really strikes me as odd that some people think “transition wasn’t right for me, so therefore, it’s right for nobody!” is a valid argument.

I’d go as far to say that I find it so hard to believe that this argument is upheld in good faith to a point where I think most people who assert it know it makes no sense but feel the need to grasp at any straws they can to be transphobic.

It’s almost as if something called a “case-by-case basis” exists, but these people refuse to acknowledge it.

I even brought up the amount of satisfied post-transition trans people with my grandfather who has an obsession with sending me articles by transphobic detransitioners (so he can use the whole “take it from someone who actually did it: transition is wrong!” argument), to which he responds:

Any trans person who says their satisfied with their lives post-transition is “lying” to not get targeted by the “liberal media”.

What gets me the most about people like my grandparents is that he simultaneously believes that transphobes like him are a silent majority to a point where he argues that everyone “secretly” agrees with his views on trans people, but he also wants to showcase a victim complex saying that people with his views are massively shunned by society when he expresses said views.

Make it make sense.

How to reveal a transphobe's true intentions when regarding medical transition

A lot of transphobic people say things like “Trans people shouldn’t undergo surgeries and hormones to fix what they’re going through!” and what not, but I’ve come to a realization. They’re not saying this out of a genuine desire to help trans people, and I’ve used this “four point method” with every transphobe...

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Them when Siamese twins get separated (they’re undoing what God did):

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/1f50a6d0-8107-464a-8a58-83fc5614ea64.gif

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

You’re assuming that the intention is to change their minds.

It’s not.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Fair point, but I usually like to discern those two. I made this post in reference to a forum debate I got into with viciously transphobic 30 to 50 something cisgender conservative men who are outright insulting me on the basis of me being trans. I’m not trying to change their minds. I’m just trying to make them look more foolish than they already make themselves look. I owe no good faith to disrespectful people like that. Their arguments are all emotionally charged and stem from the “trans people are icky” type of shit, so it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

:^)

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

God does things to old men, too

Immediately read “ED” to me, but I hope I’m not weird for assuming that. Hehe.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

As a certified pickle lover and a transfem on spiro at that, you better watch yourself.

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/abdaa16c-8143-4d6e-9f5a-c2ba2c4c39f3.png

(I unironically believe in pickle supremacy. They’re the best vegetable, and they belong on everything. Yes, including pizza.)

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

we don’t talk much anymore…

“much”

Damn! You’re better than I am. I’d tell someone like that who is my “friend” to get as far away from me as possible.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I misread the word “tyranny” there 😳

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I need people to adopt this mindset NOW. Everybody has inherent respect that I give them on the basis of simply existing, but one major fuck up, and I throw it all away.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

As a vegoon, it’s the diet. The diet most likely killed her.

Her diet wasn’t fucked up because of veganism itself. It was fucked up because of the way she approached eating plant-based.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Hey, vegan here. It’s okay if you want to hate veganism and/or vegans themselves. Quite frankly, I don’t care, but please refrain from omitting important details in the article to make plant-based diets as a whole look bad. It makes you look like a close-minded moron who will grasp at any straws to justify your position.

Any diet handled poorly will be nutritionally detrimental, no shit, and she just happened to handle her plant-based diet by consuming essentially nothing but raw fruit. For you to fail to acknowledge this actually makes me think you’re just, in bad faith, looking for any leverage you can get to shit on veganism when you don’t have to. I can assure you that, as a vegan, I find her dietary choices insane.

Let me leave you with this: think for a moment. Be a little more critical about how you approach a matter like this. I’m not saying this for my sake; I’m saying it for yours, so you don’t embarrass yourself online by coming off as a dense motherfucker with a straightforward, black-and-white, narrow , linear thought process.

Thanks.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m going to be just fine. Dude, I’m just interpreting this very face value. The article outright references eating “an all fruit diet”. The fact that you went out of your way to seemingly make this about veganism being the inherent concern just reeked of bad faith. CTFO.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Yes. I need to chill. Me. How much more face value can you get from the lede in the article? Maybe the title of the article I suppose. However as addressed by other comments the article in whole was probably in bad faith.

You don’t need to defend your life. I hope you don’t approach every exchange as an opportunity to fight. There must be a better way to communicate without being combative with each other. Surely not every interaction needs to be conflict? I wasn’t attacking you or veganism. I don’t know you and please don’t think you know me. I didn’t think my comment was antagonizing. If I was that’s entirely on me.

My wife and I were considering how to alter our diet. Our friend is a vegan and we were talking about it with him. I’ll stick to that. I’ll try to not be a dense mother fucker and I hope you are open to people surprising you with happiness and joy. Or not. Doesn’t matter to me.

It’s not that deep.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I think it is. I think this applies to your life more than you’d like to probably admit. I hope that you find joy and bliss and realize that the people in your life care about you and you don’t need to defend who you are to anyone.

I don’t know you and wasn’t looking to fight with you and after you called me a dense motherfucker for being - in your eyes - willfully repugnant I still care enough about you to see someone hurting. So if a stranger on the internet can reach out to you and hopes with all his being that you find solace then maybe the world doesn’t suck. So… yeah it is that deep. At least for me.

It’s not that deep.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I just never look at hardcore stuff anymore. I’ll take lewd pics and shit, but it’s been a long time since I ever actually watched a scene of two or more people actually doing the nasty. I just don’t find it interesting or exciting anymore.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I posted a response to a forum thread where I disagreed with the majority of the forum’s opinion. My response was posted on page 3, and it led to discourse, primarily between me and the OP, that dragged out until page 18. Walls of text galore, but I did get the last word, so does this mean I won? No. The only way I could’ve won was not engaging in that shit in the first place.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

IN OTHER NEWS:

  • Chickens are birds.
  • Water makes things wet.
  • The pope is Catholic.
  • Spoons are often used to consume pudding.
  • Cups are often used for consuming fluids.
  • Jimi Hendrix was a guitarist.
  • Germany is in Europe.
  • Potatoes are a key ingredient to potato chips.

Any more?

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Oblate spheroid, but I get it.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I have emphasized this a lot between the distinction of how my grandparents are bigoted towards me being queer and how my parents are bigoted towards me being queer.

My grandparents will outright be like: “We don’t support this shit, and that’s that. No compromising.”

but, my dad and stepmother have been like: “Wow! We’re such genuine allies for sure!”

and then when my parents get constructive criticism on something they’re doing wrong and should amend to be a better ally, they get hostile and distance themselves form me. My stepmother went a whole month without talking to me while I was living in the same house as her because I deemed something she said “transphobic”.

It got to a point where my dad went mask off in a vicious homophobic/transphobic rant where he called me things like the f-slur, the r-slur, a “cancer” to his life, and emphasized that he doesn’t want me to do anything to affirm my gender or act upon my sexual orientation.

My stepmother then tried to still push that they’re both allies, went as far to say they couldn’t be BETTER allies, and his comments were justified because he said so them out of “anger”, from which she derives the conclusion that “he didn’t mean it”.

I hate them, and yesterday, I saw them for the first time in a while after being no contact with them for the longest time, and then they said “Why haven’t you been calling us? We worry about you.” while deadnaming me and shit, so I just shrugged my shoulders and left at that point.

Bottom line is that my grandparents are better. They don’t pretend; they’re honest, and I like that a lot more.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Then at that point, it’s semantics I guess. Just being nitpicky for no reason I am.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Things that come in contact with water are wet.

:^)

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Hey, as an NB, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use your experience to speak on mine. Being GNC isn’t the same as NB, so please stop conflating the two. I’m closer to a binary trans person in my life than I am to a GNC cis person, so please don’t speak in absolutes here. I am absolutely trans, I consider myself trans wholeheartedly, and anyone who says I’m not trans rightfully can fuck off. If you experience being non-binary in a way that’s seemingly indistinguishable from being a GNC cis person, that’s you. I’m not going to police how you identify, so don’t do the same for the broader NB community.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Thank you for understanding.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Prog rock/metal, classical music, and jazz (especially the fusiony kind).

High school boys are trending conservative (thehill.com)

While many believe young people are becoming more liberal, data shows that 12th grade boys are nearly twice as likely to identify as conservative compared to liberal. Around 25% of high school seniors identify as conservative while only 13% identify as liberal. In contrast, the share of 12th grade girls identifying as liberal...

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Trae Crowder = Best Crowder

🤮

^the emoji is a link

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

To myself? Damn. I guess that changes the answer I originally had in mine.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

That boy ain’t right

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

This exactly reminds me of when Nazis try to claim they’re “third position” or “syncretic” to say they’re neither left or right lmao

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Until the spy starts sapping it!

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/24889cee-f270-4e93-8dd3-ecff341ef7a7.png

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Wanting equality in the workplace alongside worker-owned production and supporting a hierarchical ultranationalistic society with totalitarian rule are the same coin?

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Fascism is a lot more intricate than that. There are tenets within fascist ideology that are entirely incompatible with leftism.

Totalitarianism and fascism are not the same thing.

Also, none of the things you mentioned were explicitly leftist even. Hell, not really even implicitly leftist.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Racism and leftism go together like water and oil. There is nothing egalitarian about racism.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

Socialism is not inherently authoritarian.

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

You know what else is Red?

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/f79f592e-3870-44c2-92ab-691c70cbc626.png

AngelJamie,
@AngelJamie@lemmy.ml avatar

I like egalitarianism. Capitalism is inherently anti-egalitarian. Simple.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favourites
  • •
  • Durango
  • askwomen
  • Mobpsycho100
  • rhentai
  • Islamabad
  • plantedtank
  • DreamBathrooms
  • exegypt
  • Youngstown
  • Gonewildcouples
  • silesia
  • SlimeRancher
  • QPR
  • JusticeServed
  • TeamSpeak
  • jailbait
  • BeAmazed
  • LipsThatGrip
  • InstantRegret
  • Babyfurs
  • USExpatTaxes
  • onlyfansadvice
  • YoungPeopleYouTube
  • Radiomaster
  • Recollectr
  • slotface
  • oldschoolgamer
  • LegendOfDragoon
  • All magazines
    •