@vsy2369@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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vsy2369

@vsy2369@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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vsy2369,
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Hi everybody! I’m Valerie, (I did a whole intro over on Transfem if you want to check that out), I’m 41, be 42 in a few months, I’m in the U.S. originally from one of the not great states. I live in Colorado now though, actually about to move cities here at the end of the month for a new job. And, I’m pretty reserved at first, I like to take in a situation and people through observation quietly when you first meet me. However, once I get to know folks, I am usually joyful and VERY talkative. (As will become obvious if you know me, I’m prone to being long winded. It’s a problem. I’ve had to learn through great personal difficulty how and when to be concise.)

I’m a teacher so obviously I love working with students, seeing them grow and learn and just be their amazing selves! In my free time, I love to read so, I do a lot of that. I just finished Andy Weir’s Hail Mary, before that The Book Thief, Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Dispossessed, The Word for World is Forest, The Left Hand of Darkness, Lisa Klein’s Ophelia, The Priory of the Orange Tree, Hood Feminism, and I could keep going but you probably get the idea. I also really enjoy video games, please don’t judge, and I have a Steam Deck, since GOG had a deal I bought the Yakuza series and have started my way through Yakuza 0, looking forward to playing through them all.

I feel like I’m navigating much better now. I left a prior teaching job the summer before my 40th birthday, knowing that they would not be comfortable with me transitioning, and tutored for about a year before the leadership their realized I was trans and dismissed me (though naturally that wasn’t the reason given.) I had really struggled this last year to find a new job and went through my savings, finally my parents had to help me out BUT, I got a new teaching position with an awesome and inclusive school, which I start at the end of this month. I’m very excited about pursuing this new opportunity in a new town where people will only ever know the real me, you know? 😁 It’s a lot so, ask me again next year and I may finally feel like I’ve gotten everything together. 😜

As for a question, hmm, well, I guess I’d like to know about other folks relationships, if they’re in one or not and if their partner(s) knew/met them before transition and how navigating those personal relationships have been, what challenges you all faced if any. Now, I get off light here since I’m single and have been for a quite awhile. (I knew I was trans long before I actually transitioned, even if I didn’t have the vocab for it early on.) I just didn’t think it was fair to a potential partner (or myself for that matter) to start seeing anyone while I was maintaining a false outward presentation and I’ve got so much else going on since starting transition, including transition itself that I’m just not in a place for a relationship yet. So, I think that wraps it all up. I’ve really loved hearing from folks on the fediverse already and I’m looking forward to talking with all you beautiful folks here on TransLater as well! 🥰

vsy2369,
@vsy2369@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Ah, I hear you Ada. I’m dealing with my own internal struggles clearly but, I’m glad you brought up split attraction, as I’ve slowly realized that I feel the same way about my my own romantic versus sexual versus aesthetic/physical attraction. 🙄 I’m comforted that I’m not the only one wrestling with it. 🙂 Also, I’m glad to hear there’s some hope for me, though I’m not sure I could handle a polycule. 🥵 I tend to be a bit selfish or jealous, though given that I haven’t dated since I started transitioning, maybe I’ve grown.

vsy2369,
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Well that’s really cool. As I said I tend to be a bit more selfish myself but, I can also see that I can’t and wouldn’t try to fulfill all of any potential partner’s needs, though I would think that they could find other ways of fulfilling them outside of another romantic/sexual partner. Again, I guess I’m just more reserved in my own (potential) relationships. However, as I said, I think it’s really cool that you and your partner(s) are able to be more open in that regard and do that in a way that’s fulfilling for all parties.

I find your description of your own attractions interesting. I personally a, exclusively romantically attracted to women. I’m (helpfully) also primarily aesthetically attracted to women. However, before figuring out that I was a woman myself, I thought I might be some other flavor of gay/queer and experimented a bit sexually with men. That was fairly hit and miss, mostly miss. Though I think I can say emphatically that I enjoy penis, I very rarely feel the same about the fellow attached to it. (I was never involved with other women like myself so I can’t say how much I’d enjoy that, though I tend to think a lot.) Jokingly, I’ve sometimes said to myself that “I don’t have a problem with dick, I have a problem with dudes.” But, I’ve found that’s not universally true. There have been a few men (read less than 5) who I’ve found both physically attractive and with whom I could imagine a pleasurable sexual relationship. Though all those men were (to my knowledge) heterosexual and most were involved with women so it was exclusively fantasy on my part and I still had no interest in a romantic relationship with any. I also haven’t ever been involved with anyone on the wider gender spectrum and don’t want to rule out any nonbinary, genderqueer, etc. folks simply for lack of experience. Even so, for simplicity sake I’ve sometimes labeled myself as a lesbian given my strong preference for other women in most arenas but, homoromantic bisexual is, while a bit more complex, much more accurate. Thank you for sharing your own experiences! I really enjoy learning about other people’s journeys and sharing mine.

vsy2369,
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Awesome, I follow you, particularly the interest in and drive to be proudly openly queer. I hope that one day the “complete package” comes along for you but, I’m also overjoyed for you that you’re in a such a loving, rich and fulfilling relationship! 🥰

vsy2369,
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Thank you! Yes, my mom says the same thing. I was pretty good at faking happy before but now that I know what it actually feels like I can't imagine going back.

vsy2369,
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A pleasure to meet you as well! Thank you, I'm sure I will.

vsy2369,
@vsy2369@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Hi LadyAutumn! 👋 I am enjoying Lemmy very much, thanks to folks like you! Yes, being able to work with such courageous young people has been incredibly inspiring. It's one of the primary reasons I've continued to be an educator despite so many recent challenges. "The Kids Are Alright" as my father's favorite rock band, The Who, once sang. Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm honestly surprised sometimes by how much more joyful my life has become since accepting myself as I am. Thanks again for your warm welcome, I'm sure I'll love it here! 😁👍

vsy2369,
@vsy2369@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Oh man, you just brought back a memories for me of playing this game on our Super NES (when it was still labelled Final Fantasy III in the U.S. market) with my brother. We took turns and after beating the story the first time, (what a shock World of Ruin was for us the first time) we went back and ground ALL the characters to level 99, used the Espers and items to get them every spell, got all Gau's Rages on the Veldt. (I don't think we completed Strago's Lores but I had kind of fallen off by that point, my brother may have.) Geez, core memory restored of bonding with my little brother, ozoned, so thanks!

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