Enter emotional support animal paperwork. A hundred bucks and an autism diagnosis saves me $40 a month in pet rent and a several hundred dollar pet deposit. Landlords hate this!
Oh baby…welcome to the good life! There are a lot of legit online organizations you can find that offer emotional support animal letters. Just have to prove to them your identity, answer their questionnaire, provide proof of disability (in the form of your autism diagnosis in this case), and fork over $100 - $150ish, and they’ll send you a letter that is good for one year. It may take them a week or so to get you the letter, so be sure to request it at least a few weeks before you sign/resign a lease agreement.
Yeah well landlords in the US don’t get to just decide that they’re not going to accept it. Unless a request is completely unreasonable and until the law is changed, they must allow for emotional support animals.
And it is most definitely not bullshit for those of us who actually need it. If you don’t actually have a disability and somehow acquired an ESA letter in order to skirt policies just to have your little buddy near you, then it is people like you we have to blame for hotels, restaurants, and other such companies no longer allowing emotional support animals on their premises.
As long as a person who is diagnosed with a disability (which includes autism under the ADA) provides evidence of their non-apparent disability in the form of an emotional support letter by a qualified and reputable party which can vouch for the presence of that person’s disability, then a US landlord cannot deny that person their assistance animal, nor may they charge them a pet deposit or pet rent. They may only deny the request under certain conditions, outlined below.
"An assistance animal is an animal that works, provides assistance, or performs tasks for the benefit of a person with a disability, or that provides emotional support that alleviates one or more identified effects of a person’s disability. An assistance animal is not a pet
"Individuals with a disability may request to keep an assistance animal as a reasonable accommodation to a housing provider’s pet restrictions.
"The Fair Housing Act requires a housing provider to allow a reasonable accommodation involving an assistance animal in situations that meet all the following conditions:
A request was made to the housing provider by or for a person with a disability
The request was supported by reliable disability-related information, if the disability and the disability-related need for the animal were not apparent and the housing provider requested such information, and
The housing provider has not demonstrated that:
Granting the request would impose an undue financial and administrative burden on the housing provider
The request would fundamentally alter the essential nature of the housing provider’s operations
The specific assistance animal in question would pose a direct threat to the health or safety of others despite any other reasonable accommodations that could eliminate or reduce the threat
The request would result in significant physical damage to the property of others despite any other reasonable accommodations that could eliminate or reduce the physical damage.
"A reasonable accommodation request for an assistance animal may include, for example:
A request to live with an assistance animal at a property where a housing provider has a no-pets policy or
A request to waive a pet deposit, fee, or other rule as to an assistance animal.
So you are a non-disabled person taking advantage of a weakly regulated system which is meant for disabled people to be able to live comfortably in their homes as protected under the Fair Housing Act of the United States and backed up by the Department of Housing and Urban Development - while calling an emotional support animal a pet and not knowing the difference between an emotional support animal and a service dog no less - and you think I’m wrong to be pissed at you and people like you for making it more difficult for those of us with actual needs? Get wrecked, son.
And yet landlords corporations today have no problem charging “market value” for an individual apartment which fluctuates on a daily basis based on nothing more than what they think they can pump you for. I have no problem with them using some of their own ill-gotten gains for repairs.
C’mon now! Don’t you get it? Instead of society making the effort to learn about and accommodate for the needs of autistic people, they’re spending a ton of money on research, and the results of this study mean they might be able to FIX US!
I won five grand from an online casino in 2001, and they not only paid me my winnings, they also included an extra $262 in comps for having bet aggregately over a quarter of a million dollars. That money went a long way for my early-20s ass. Paid off a credit card and bought a new mattress for me and my new wife.
When Full Tilt Poker got shut down by the DOJ, though, I was sort of okay with it. There were waaaaay too many action flops for those hands to have been truly randomized.
These casinos intentionally make people addicted, causing so much suffering and death.
Noted, but so does alcohol and you can find it almost everywhere. Most people have the capacity to exercise caution when engaging in potentially addictive behaviors. Unless we intend to ban everything that could cause addiction and lead to destruction of a person’s life (gambling, alcohol, tobacco, food, sex, claw machines, loot boxes…), then we have to let people make their own choices and be responsible for their own decisions. When it becomes apparent to a person that they have an addiction, it is their own responsibility to tend to it.
Because I was 24 years old and I put $50 on a debit card and managed to pump it up to $5000 and it was a one-off occurrence more than two decades ago? Relax.
This. Granted I was 24 and not great with money as my wife and I had about $1500 in credit card debt, but once or twice a year I’d put down $50 for a little fun money and play at an online casino for no more than a week or until the $50 was gone. The first time I tried, I managed to use a modified Martingale system for several days and worked it up to five grand before cashing out. Was never successful at making anything close to that again, but I never played with or lost more than I could afford.
Today, apart from a car note I took on two weeks ago after a car I drove 200,000 miles over the past 14 years finally gave out, I am debt free and have been since 2016, and I genuinely can’t remember the last time I went to the casino. But, when I did, I brought $200, lost it but had my fun, and went home. No addiction whatsoever.
Lol, I put that last bit there without explanation for the shock value because the people seem to love this. But yes, we were all polyamorous. She was married, I had a girlfriend and a nesting partner, my girlfriend had a boyfriend who had a wife who wanted to date me (I declined because she practiced polyamory unethically), and my nesting partner had a girlfriend.
The woman I was interested in dating, I knew she didn’t have a whole lot of free time…neither did I truth be told…but I turned her down not because she had other partners and a busy life but because of the way she responded to me. It was basically, “Um, how dare you cancel plans with me after I took an extra morning shift on the day of our date leaving you with only two hours and with you having to do all the driving for over two and a half hours during rush hour traffic!” She was so used to people falling all over her because of how attractive she was, and it was really off-putting.
Indeed. We are all polyamorous, and it’s quite normal in our circles. I remember one time my nesting partner and I had a party at the house we were sharing, and there was a daisy chain of eight people comprising seven consecutive dyadic relationships in attendance (Stephanie <–> Troy <–> Chastity <–> John <–> Anna <–> Me <–> Esther <–> Amanda), and it was really great! Everyone was just enjoying each other’s company, having drinks, talking about this and that, feeling compersion…it’s a nice way to be when you’re wired for it!
Right on, it’s not for everyone. I’m not wired for monogamy, it turns out. I practiced monogamy with my wife for 13 years until I was 37 year old, but I never felt “whole”, I suppose is the best way to describe it. We were polyamorous together for two years before separating and divorcing pro sé (not to do with the relationship style at all, we just had outgrown our relationship).
Now - ten years later - I couldn’t imagine ever choosing to be monogamous again. As I like to say, I never again want to presume any semblance of control over any partner’s absolute right to seek out joy and fulfillment by forming however many ethical and consensual relationships they wish, of whatever style they wish, with whomever they wish, for as long as they wish, and I insist upon the same right for myself.
It’s good when you and your partner know yourselves and each other. I always advocate for purposeful relationships of all kinds, especially monogamy. It has always seemed like monogamous people in general make a whole lot of assumptions; there’s a unwritten “rulebook” that everyone is supposed to know by heart and follow, but each person understands it just a little bit differently, so arguments come about because of it related to things like what constitutes cheating (e.g. being attracted to anyone else, dreaming sexually about someone else, harmless flirting, etc.). If everyone engaged in conversations early on in a relationship about what they want and need out of a partner what they are willing and able to give back, and what their deal breakers are, then such incompatibilities can be addressed much earlier and compromises made.
And yes, my situation is very different. Monogamous-wired people who have threesomes usually haven’t done the emotional work beforehand. They try to convince themselves that they are emotionally prepared for the aftermath because they are excited about getting some strange, but when the third person is more interested in one of them than the other in the moment, the other partner starts to feel jealousy and wants to shut it down. Or maybe one partner ones to do it a second time with the same third partner and the other doesn’t because they worry that their partner is developing feelings. Or any number of things.
With the people in my circles, we all have practiced polyamory for many years. Sometimes we experience jealousy (I don’t), we have done the emotional work to identify it, put a name to it, dig deep to determine the cause of the discomfort, take ownership of the emotion, let our partner know about the feeling, and ask them for what we need as a means of support without imposing on their boundaries or attempting to force them into changing how they engage in their relationships with others.
We were all in multiple relationships, I dunno what to tell you. It is common in polyamory. Having kitchen table polyamory as we did isn’t uncommon either, though not necessarily the norm as more formerly monogamous people try on a pair of polyamory pants for themselves. They often decide that they’d rather not know who their partner is dating. As for me and mine, we enjoy sharing space with our metamours. Seeing my partners being romantic with their other partners makes my heart feel super happy. And the people I date tend to feel the same way when seeing me happy with my other partners. 😊
Fair enough. I know how easy it is to fake a Google search with inspect element. I’ve been trying to verify for myself how shitty it is, but AI Overviews don’t seem to be showing up for me (I’ve done all the correct steps to enable it, but no searches generate results).
No, you don’t. Polyamory ≠ Triad (three people all in a relationship together). Triads are certainly a form polyamory can take, but a very small percentage of polyamorous people are in one. They just happen to be way over represented in media which causes people to assume that that’s what polyamory is. I know a whole lot of polyamorous people; none of them are in a triad, and most of the men and some of the women are straight.
Yes, your exact personal experiences are always going to be perfectly representative of the norm, well done. 🙄 And they may be friends to you, but you are definitely not friends to them body-shaming them the way you do.
Gigan indicated that certain men will have multiple female partners while other men will have none. This implies that they believe that those female partners will be tied to that one man and won’t have the ability to take on any other male partners should they choose to. Such a situation is not polyamory as it is not equitable to all parties.
Should two women choose to be partnered with each other and a man, and should all parties exercise their free will (i.e. not out of pressure) in deciding to be polyfidelitous, then that could be considered polyamory. But it doesn’t necessitate that those “Chads” horde all of the women leaving some straight men with no potential partners. It’s a ridiculous implication.
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cross-posted from: literature.cafe/post/10359040...
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