In trying to understand “the rules”, you are attempting to understand human nature. In the fediverse there are no “rules”, there isn’t a governing body, instance owners and moderators essentially have “root” permissions.
Some use those for the greater good, some don’t. Some react in ways that are unexpected and unfamiliar.
In other words, be kind to your community and find a place where you can enjoy yourself. Don’t fret about the things that you cannot control.
If you absolutely need an answer, set up your own instance and be your own boss.