copypasta

👋 Hello darkness 🌃, my old friend 🧑‍🤝‍🧑, I’ve come to talk with you again 🗣️. Because a vision softly creeping 👁️, left its seeds 🌱 while I was sleeping 🛏️. And the vision that was planted in my brain still remain 🧠, within the sound of silence 🔇. In restless dreams I walked alone...

Millions of years of evolution. Countless struggles and hardships through hundreds of generations. Blood, sweat, and tears…all to get your father’s sperm to fertilize your mother’s egg and create you....

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating...

“Hey man, can I get a hand with this real quick?”...

This morning at 5:40am my desktop metamask was hacked and drained of all funds and NFTs....

I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE FUCKING CODE! i just want to download this stupid fucking application and use it github.com/sherlock-project/sherlock#installation...

Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don’t think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like...

Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was...

O-oh, suwwe!? OwO the 🤘🤣 x3 edo sees bulge pewiod in japan 🎑 was a weawwy x3 i-intewesting 😊 time, 🕡 uwu. It wasted fwom 1603 UwU t-to 1868, owo, and i-it 😀 was a time 🕜 of wewative peace ✌️ and stabiwity uwndew the 🤣 x3 wuwwe of the 🫵🫵🫵 x3 tokuwgawa shoguwnyate, x3 uwu. Hewe awe some majow...

I went out running on the streets of Delhi in a sports bra. Never again. Literally every uncle, aunty, and kid on the road was staring at me with their mouths agape. I am not exaggerating when I say that I saw 80-90 people literally stop and turn around to watch me. Their judgemental eyes left a crawling sensation on my skin....

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already...

in the stripped club. straight up “jorking it”. and by “it”, haha, well let’s justr say. My peanits

Welcome to zombo.com. This is zombo.com. Welcome. This is zombo.com. Welcome to zombo.com. You can do anything at zombo.com. Anything at all. The only limit is yourself. Welcome to zombo.com. Welcome to zombo.com. This is zombo.com. Welcome to zombo.com. This is zombo.com, welcome! Yes, this is zombo.com. This is zombo.com and...

I love my smart TV. I love the way it takes a long time to boot up because it’s trying to refresh the advertisements on the home screen. I delight in the way it randomly restarts because it’s downloaded an update without asking me, each of which makes the TV slower and slower with every subsequent install. I adore the way it...

We’re introducing something called the heavens and the earth. Our engineers have created an earth with separate light and darkness. And we call it day and night. We also added a vault between the waters to separate water from water called “sky.” We made the water be gathered to one place, and let dry ground called...

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This is Bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over Lemmy...

Uhh, starving child? Sorry but I have to inform you that you have been downvoted. I issued this downvote because you said you were a “starving child starving to death.” This is redundant and not heckin awesome 100. Please edit your comment and learn to eat.

Downvoted and blocked. Unhelpful replies like this that do nothing for the discussion at hand are a scourge on society. This is no joking matter. This is of utmost scientific importance and I recommend you open a book. Now cease contact with me immediately....

When I first heard of ClickUp, I thought of something out of a martial arts movie. But thats a kick-up. I love kick-ups, but I need to practise. ‎...

i don’t really understand how a w*man can form such an intimate bond to a man without feeling the urge to have a full relationship, but apparently, that’s possible....

It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, perfect weather for a stroll through the park. As I walked along the path, enjoying the scenery and taking deep breaths of fresh air, I noticed two men approaching me. At first glance, I thought nothing of it - maybe they needed directions or something. But then they began questioning me...

I woke up in the morning at 7am and immediately went to wake up my parents. I explained to them how I’m dreamgender and dreamsexual but they didnt even know who dream is, boomers. I had to explain to them its a sexy minecraft youtuber and how Im connected to him emotionally and sexually. They didnt get mad at all (yay!) they...

Greta Thunberg is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the UN climate summit after party. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her on CNN She laughs. I get my drink....

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels....