If you asked me growing up, I would have said that I’m a Christian. I was surrounded by Christians, my family were Christians, and I went to church almost every Sunday until I was 18.
But I never truly believed. I always felt something was wrong with it all, that it just made no sense. I looked around at my peers and thought “why don’t I feel god in me like everyone else?”. I wanted to believe so desperately that it made me feel like there was something very, very wrong with me.
I thought “well maybe it’s because I go to a non-denominational church” so I asked if we could go a southern baptist church instead. Nothing. Then I thought “maybe I need to be more involved in the church”, so I went to Bible studies every week and volunteered for mission trips and vacation Bible school. Nothing. Then I thought “maybe it’s because I was never baptized”, so I got baptized. Nothing.
After years of this, I was anxious, depressed, and suicidal. It wasn’t until I moved out and went to a school across the country that I could finally admit to myself that I just didn’t believe and I likely never would.
After many years of self-reflection and deconstruction I am finally happy and in a place where I feel like I am living my authentic life. I’ve never been happier.
Forcing kids into religion is fucked and does damage to them that lasts for years, if not a lifetime.