MonotoneofBill

MonotoneofBill, 9 days ago to random

What’s an Ichthyologist’s favorite game show? “Name That Tuna.”

MonotoneofBill, 10 days ago to random

It just donged on me I sometimes pick the wrong word.

MonotoneofBill, 11 days ago to random

Apparently, ancient people loved drinking from broken cups.

MonotoneofBill, 14 days ago to random

I like to learn something new every day.

Armadillos almost always give birth to identical quadruplets.

MonotoneofBill, 17 days ago to random

Emotional baggage should have been called griefcase.

MonotoneofBill, 18 days ago to random

If you weep in the shower it looks like you’re extra proficient at crying.

MonotoneofBill, 18 days ago to random

Movies with many characters getting injured need a good supporting cast.

MonotoneofBill, 18 days ago to random

The two new electricians kept getting their wires crossed.

MonotoneofBill, 21 days ago to random

When I ask someone their name, more often than not, I forget to listen to what their name is.

MonotoneofBill, 23 days ago to random

Out of all the lies I tell, “just kidding” is still my favorite.

MonotoneofBill, 24 days ago to random

There is no “we” in chocolate.

MonotoneofBill, 26 days ago to random

In my still new-to-me Proton mail when reading newsletters, I'm getting "Image has not been loaded to protect your privacy." Anyone know to what that refers? TY.

MonotoneofBill, 26 days ago to random

I super glued my thumb to my index finger. Everything’ll be OK.

MonotoneofBill, 27 days ago to random

Moms let kids lick the beaters.

Good moms turn the mixer off first.

MonotoneofBill, 30 days ago to random

The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.

MonotoneofBill, 30 days ago to random

Regarding my Spanish lessons, after my throat operation, I can "Si" clearly now.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

A pizza is basically a real-time pie chart of how much pizza remains.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Female pirates with sword injuries are cut lasses.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

What symptom will you feel after swallowing Uranium?

Atomic ache.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Just when you think your vegetables will never call you again, onion rings.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Autocorrect’s originator died? I didn’t even know he was I’ll.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

I wasn't going to let getting older slow me down. But my body had other plans.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Picking up a cookie that fell to the floor counts as a squat, yes?

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Nowadays most of my exercise comes from shaking my head in disbelief.

MonotoneofBill, 1 month ago to random

Deceased astronauts get orbituaries.