This is a really helpful answer. The gender reveal party is a great example, because it’s an event people tend to get incredibly emotional and excited about, and also very defensive if they feel you are not as excited. That’s why making up an excuse or just politely decline is good. You shouldn’t really dampen their excitement if they are so much into it.
Most of these same emotionally high stakes special occasion social events are also of the type where you have to suffer through a whole day of pre-scripted interactions like fake smiles and small talk. Not ASD friendly at all.
But I understand for the NT folk out there these events are a really big deal, and I don’t want them to feel bad about what they love.