SPRUNT

@SPRUNT@lemmy.world

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SPRUNT,

Nah. I brush my teeth while rinsing my body. By the time I’m done with my oral hygiene, my body is rinsed and my shower is done.

SPRUNT,

I disagree. During the middle of one of his rambling, windbag rants at his largest nazi rally, he needs to have a Grand Mal seizure where he visibly pisses and shits himself, immediately followed by a near-fatal stroke that leaves him as a drooling vegetable on life support. May he be fully conscious while completely incapacitated and unable to speak as a team of brown-skinned, LGBTQ±and-proud-of-it nurses take turns being forgetful about emptying his colostomy bag while an AI bot scours the internet reading aloud every legit criticism of his entire pathetic life until, after enduring many, many years of this treatment, an obsessed fan finally works his way onto the night janitorial staff so he can get in the room alone with The Donald and live out his fantasy of making a human-centipede-like union by engaging in a “perfect” 69, causing DJT to die while asphyxiating on crazy janitor cock which, in turn, causes the janitor to choke himself to death on Don’s pathetic dick resulting in the final act of indignity as the janitor releases his bowels directly onto Trump’s face just before he finally loses consciousness.

May the last thing Trump ever sees, as he chokes to death on smelly cock, be an extreme closeup of the hairy, unwashed ass of a MAGA lunatic as it pisses down Don’s throat and reenacts “2 Girls, One Cup” directly into his eyes.

SPRUNT,

If by “fix” you mean “to use one’s money and influence in an effort to secure a desired outcome”, then yes, Trump fixes a gross number of things.

And by “gross” I mean both a large quantity and completely disgusting.

SPRUNT,

In a sane world, yes.

In the real world, the people who support him are the ones who identify with him, and the ones who identify with him think that sexual assault is the pinnacle of masculinity.

SPRUNT,

Ok, ladies: Would you rather out yourself as a woman online, or spend the night in the woods with a bear?

SPRUNT,

Because it takes profits from the oil industry, and we can’t have that!

/s

SPRUNT,

Mike’s Hard Lemonade dehydrates the victim to the point that the next time they pee it comes out like toothpaste.

SPRUNT,

Mole eck you lees

Par tick lees

SPRUNT,

The Greek god of fortitude, but he can’t take a hit.

SPRUNT,

Studio exec: “Yeah he’s good, and looks the part, but can we do something about those crazy eyes?”

Showrunner: “I already have the prop department working on it.”

Feature/Option request: An overlay, when replying to any post or comment, that reminds the user what group (subreddit *sigh*) they are commenting in.

I think a lot of people forget to check where they are before replying to things (me especially). Serious replies show up in shitposts and are then apologized for, joke comments are made in communities that are more serious, etc....

SPRUNT,

That means that you can get a good girl with a side of freedom for under $10, and still have enough for a can of soda, a dime candy, and a couple pieces of gum.

SPRUNT,

So, Israel is a cop with a bodycam who just shut it off as it continues to press its knee into Gaza’s neck.

SPRUNT,

I’ve found that the reaction to the word “moist” is highly dependent on the context. For example, a cupcake described as moist sparks a feeling of deliciousness, while some potting soil described as moist gives me a sense of completeness or stability (plants typically need moist soil to grow, so it’s a good thing). However, a bus seat described as moist triggers a feeling of revulsion.

Context is key.

SPRUNT,

Whew! For a second there, I was worried that I agreed with Aaron Rogers.

SPRUNT,

“He is Charles! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!”

SPRUNT,

@ftermidnight

SPRUNT,

I continuously see comments about speaking to them in a language that they can understand, as well as comments about being the better person and not stooping to their level. Problem is, the only language that they understand is the language you don’t want people to use.

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