geekysteven

geekysteven, 7 days ago to random

I go fishing without using a hook because I don't want to catch a fish, just feed one from a respectful distance

geekysteven, 9 days ago to random

Feeding crows is better than feeding pigeons, because crows can remember and describe human faces, so the species may decide to spare you when the revolution comes

geekysteven, 9 days ago to random

geekysteven, 9 days ago to random

Not all the Norse in the Middle Ages were vikings, but I bet a lot of them were a little vi-curious.

geekysteven, 9 days ago to random

[assassin to client]
"Ok, so the president is dead. However, and I did not see this coming, they just made someone else president instead. If you want a refund I totally understand."

geekysteven, 10 days ago to random

If you think my tiny animal sidekick is cute wait'll you see that he has his own, even tinier animal sidekick

geekysteven, 12 days ago to random

geekysteven, 12 days ago to random

"Laugh it up, how would you like it if YOUR beloved politician got convict---"

Look buddy, we have a list of people with D after their names that we're crossing our fingers will finally be held accountable.

geekysteven, 13 days ago to random

If you love paleontology, make sure you stay in school and study hard. Do this and someday you could become a fossil.

geekysteven, 14 days ago to random

On your second day of prison go right up to the biggest prisoner there and apologize for beating them up the day before, that wasn't very cool.

geekysteven, 14 days ago to random

geekysteven, 17 days ago to random

"Bottom of the barrel"?
His name is Diogenes, show some respect

geekysteven, 19 days ago to random

On a scale of Chocolate Rain to Hamster Dance, how irrelevant and out of touch are my pop culture references?

geekysteven, 20 days ago to random

On a scale of Chocolate Rain to Hamster Dance, how irrelevant and out of touch are my pop culture references?

geekysteven, 20 days ago to random

geekysteven, 20 days ago to random

geekysteven, 21 days ago to random

You could probably get your state legislature to make Charmander the state amphibian.

geekysteven, 21 days ago to random

geekysteven, 21 days ago to random

Touching grass is fine, but touching wife is far superior

geekysteven, 22 days ago to random

For fucks sake, the only reasons the U.S. hasn't sold Ohio is cause none of the other nations want it. We're stuck with them forever.

geekysteven, 22 days ago to random

geekysteven, 22 days ago to random

Cis: Oh you're trans and an embodiment of an abstract concept, right?
Trans: Yes.
Cis:
Trans:
Cis: Can I ask you a personification question?

geekysteven, 23 days ago to random

My alternate history novel takes place in a universe where instead of the Confederacy losing the Civil War, they lose the Civil War even harder, just absolutely crushed

geekysteven, 24 days ago to random

geekysteven, 24 days ago to random

We saw you from across the bar and we really dig your Roger Roger