As my workplace has a busy week all this week, I fear the inevitable flood of ableism my co-workers are gonna put me through. Too often they've scolded me for my ADHD symptoms like being out of my desk to walk around, staring off into space, not focusing, or fidgeting with stuff. And their responses have been terrible; they've ranged from stuff like barring my exit, telling me to "focus", threatening to cut my pay or fire me, etc. And since I have autism, I end up being so overwhelmed that I go into a crying fit or meltdown, and they always threaten to remove me because I'm "being disruptive". Perhaps I should quit at the rate things are going. Having to suffer through so much ableist stuff is getting to me at this rate...
The way you describe your work environment makes it sound like you should look out for another gig asap. You shouldn’t have to go through this. Though you’re probably american and I’m european, so take this advice with a large grain of salt as I’m not sure of what opportunities you have in this regard.
Everybody has their own work environment that they thrive in. Finding that place can be very hard for anyone who can’t just be pressed into the mold that society dictates.
You should consider your productivity needs and think about where your traits are strengths that should be valued and not considered a problem that needs to be dealt with. You can’t herd cats and you can’t keep someone with ADHD Lazer focused indefinitely.
You are the perfect piece to a puzzle that you aren’t trying to fit in, find your puzzle and click into where you belong.
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