I have been stalked and harassed for at least 11 years

When someone broke into my house, ransacked it, and left, I thought it was my husband. We were separated in 2013, and had agreed to live apart, and even to date other people. I had a restraining order against him, because he physically abused me. We reconciled, and he told me he didn’t break into the house. No one seemed to know who did it. When I filed a police report, one of my friends was with me, and so were my parents. Neither my parents, nor my friend broke into my house. The officer who took the report kept smiling while he took the report and acted like he wasn’t taking it seriously. He treated it like a joke. My parents were upset, as was I. It was not something we found to be funny.

Two years later, I was at work, when another individual confronted me and told me that groups in the community wanted me dead. Due to my line of work, I figured that some people were bitter over end of the year reports. I shrugged it off and told her thank you for her concern. I didn’t take her comments seriously. I thought she was being overly dramatic.

My family and I moved to another city the next year. We had new jobs. My brother-in-law babysat for us, and lived with us. One day, he was physically attacked in the community, while walking down the street. Then it happened again. He tried to let an officer know that he was being attacked by what appeared to be a homeless man, but the officer tased my brother-in-law. We lost our babysitter due to that. My husband then began to notice his hours being cut at work. They cut his hours so greatly, that he finally questioned it. They told him that they would be firing him soon and didn’t explain why. I told my boss about all of this, and told him that I didn’t know how my family would afford to stay in town. Then, I began to encounter a person at work who would throw items at me while I was doing my job. This began to occur on a near daily basis. She would scream at me, often saying rude, or abusive things at me. I reported this to my boss, but all he could tell me was that “there are certain powerful groups in the community and it was best not to ruffle any feathers.” I resigned and told him that I worried for the safety of my family. We moved again.

I took a job mid-year in the city near where my parents had raised me. I began to encounter harassment. I began to be bullied by individuals at my job site. One day at lunch, I went through a drive-thru and was served a frozen coffee drink that contained the contents of a broken thermometer and possibly some chem lab chemicals. I was also called into my boss’ office and grilled over my vital records. He filmed his interrogation of me, and told me that we would be having more of these conversations in the future. I felt uncomfortable and left my job.

My parents were furious that I left my job. I tried to join the army and become a medic. I met with recruiters, took an ASVAB, scored really well, and was ready to ship out to BMT. I didn’t pass the physical health portion: I have a metal clip on one of my arteries from a past surgery. I had already signed over my children to my mother. I was left with nothing. I had even sold my vehicle, and given away my dog. I picked up work as a lifeguard after that, and eventually found a new job in my old career field. Unfortunately, I was chased out of that job by a gang member that approached me in my home town, and verbally explained that she would shoot me, if I kept my job. I told this to my boss, and he didn’t deny the presence of territorial gangs in the vicinity of the jobs site. He recommended that I resign for my own safety.

I spent a lot of time traveling. I have visited 14 different countries, in all at this point. It is all due to trying to avoid the gangs in California. They would have had to apply for a passport and then buy plane tickets to follow me to some of the places where I went. I chose countries that wouldn’t tolerate their gang presence there. I had a wonderful time abroad. I was never bullied, or threatened, until I visited Ireland, but I stayed for far too long, and began to notice Americans around me when those things occurred.

Around 2022, I accepted a full time job in my career field and immediately experienced another threat. This time, a teenager handed me death threats written on card stock that I had been using at my job. The threats specifically mentioned that a local gang wanted to hurt me. I took the written threats to my boss, who said he couldn’t offer much help. He suggested that I resign and work someplace safer. I did. I left that job, booked a ticket to France, and stayed there for about a week. I then traveled to Scotland, and then stayed almost a year in Ireland. I could t work abroad without a visa, and couldn’t attain a work visa without finishing my case for permanent residency. I became so financially distressed that I asked to have my application removed from the immigration process. I asked to be sent home, to California.

I took another job, as soon as I arrived home. It was going really well. I had a great time working at various assignments for about five months. Then it happened: Someone threatened me. I was told by a male that some gang wanted to shoot me (I paraphrase here). He then threatened to beat me up himself (again I paraphrase to remove obscenities). I took this information to my boss. One of my coworkers was in the room when this occurred, but she often flirts with the individuals that are part of this male’s social circle within the room. She refused to back me up on what was said. She played dumb and said (and I quote this word for word), “I didn’t see nothing!” That is the local clientele with which I work, everyone! That, right there! My boss decided to do an investigation into the matter. Another male in the room then announced he had overheard the threats. I was so happy to hear that someone (besides myself), was being honest in regard to what was said to me! Regardless, of this fact, my boss called me into his office and asked me to resign. He told me, “you deserve to work someplace safe.” He didn’t deny that I was threatened. He removed me from my job assignment. I have not been threatened since March of this year.

So what is my problem, right? Why am I posting this. For the past few weeks, planes and police helicopters have been flying really low over my parents’ isolated house in our rural community. They aren’t doing this at all times of the day. They specifically do this when I am outside, exercising, after work. I have also noticed bikers riding by our house, very slowly, and staring at me. I ride motorcycles, too. I owned more than one motorcycle between 2018 and 2020, and have yet to buy another one since selling those. Why does this matter? Two of my ex boyfriends work for law enforcement. One works for a local police department and the other works for a local sheriff’s department. I feel that since my husband and I separated, they have been abusing their law enforcement powers to harass me. I believe that my house was ransacked and robbed in 2013 by someone affiliated with one, or both, of my ex boyfriends. I fee that is the reason my police report was not taken seriously by the reporting officer. In 2017, I was picked up without an arrest, or a warrant, or even for suspicion of a crime, just so that the sheriff’s department could have me strip searched at a local facility in front of their staff members. I had not even committed a crime. They tried to say that I was being strip searched and held because my parents were worried about me. My parents told me they had not contacted them at all. That day, I was targeted on the freeway, followed off the off-ramp, pulled over by a sheriff’s car (outside of their jurisdiction) and told that they wanted me searched. They would not tell me why. They did not accuse me of a crime. They simply called an ambulance and told me that I had to get into the ambulance. I wasn’t speeding. I wasn’t driving erratically. I wasn’t drunk, or on drugs. I was driving my own vehicle that I had legally purchased that year, and insured. I had never been arrested. I had never had any past criminal record at all, aside from past speeding tickets. When I arrived at the facility, a male staff member decided to watch my strip search, which was being conducted by female nurses. I am physically female and did not look male at all before shaving my head many years later. The male who watched me, was a former classmate of mine from college. He was not assigned to be part of the strip search. He was there on his own, to observe, apparently without permission from his supervisor. I want to sue. I would like to sue the local sheriff’s department for all of my pain and suffering since at least 2017. If they have any ties to the robbery of my home in 2013, then I would like to sue them for ALL of my pain and suffering.

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. Oh, and if any commenters want to attribute the harassment to the fact that I shave my head, just be reminded that I first shaved my head about seven year AFTER this harassment first started. I don’t care if some ex boyfriend of mine is lashing out at me, because he’s bitter and spiteful, or if it’s because he’s lonely and thinks this is a way to force an ex girlfriend back into his life; I want to be left alone. My trip to that sheriff’s facility ended with me being told that I had PTSD! A doctor was brought in to evaluate me and my past medical records (including my gallbladder removal from 2008). The doctor looked at my chart, saw that surgery, and declared that I was probably having discomfort from that surgery; prompting a PTSD diagnosis from him. I left with forms that said PTSD. I later returned to their records office to ask for a copy of my report from that day. My ex-boyfriend opened the door to the records office, wearing another man’s name badge, smiling cruelly at me, and handed me an envelope of forms. I opened the forms and the wording the doctor had used and written on the first report was changed. The papers were warm, like they came off of a printer a moment before I arrived, and the report on the form was hand-written in black ink. The ink was still wet, as if someone had just written the report a minute before I arrived. I am convinced that my ex-boyfriend rewrote forms after reprinting blank ones. There are no words that I can use to express how frustrating and dehumanizing this whole situation has been since about 2013. I have tried to find low cost lawyers. I have filed federal reports. No one seems to care. I hate to say this, but if I were black, people would care, because it would be a race issue. I’m not, though; I’m a white, female, in her mid-thirties, and absolutely no one cares.

Maxxus,

I’m a stranger on the internet, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I was into your story up until you said planes and helicopters were flying low over your home. It sounds like you may suffering from some level of schizophrenia or other paranoia related condition. Get evaluated, or don’t, but I hope you find peace.

TheChurn,

Yes - this reads like textbook paranoid delusions.

While there are certainly cases of police abusing their authority to harass people over personal grievances, this level, for this long, and involving this many third parties stretches belief.

ParabolicMotion,

Today’s helicopter was a local police helicopter. One summer, in 2013, my parents took my son with them on an out of town trip, and I was home alone, house sitting for them. I decided to tan topless to avoid tan lines, as I sat alone, by their swimming pool. About fifteen minutes later, a law enforcement chopper flew over our backyard and began to hover over it. It stayed there long enough for me to grab a towel and move out of their backyard, and into the house. After I left the backyard, they flew away. I’d that paranoid? I was harassed by the same organization that later ordered me to be strip searched four years later, with the door open, for male staff members to watch. They could probably put any label they want on my file, and people like you would dismiss me. They could also do the same thing to your spouse, your mother, your sister, or even you. If you later post that something similar has/is happening to you, I won’t call you any mental labels.

Maxxus,

I’m not going to dig into the details because I can’t convince you your experienced reality isn’t real. Paranoia can stem from delusions, a key factor in your story is that most people, even those close to you, aren’t backing up your experiences.

ParabolicMotion,

I never mentioned the views of anyone who is close to me, or claimed they aren’t backing me. I worry that you might be one of the individuals stalking me, and trying to discredit my claims. I wonder where you’re located and how you just stumbled upon my post. Is this even a forum you frequently browse? My post is also new. It hasn’t been viewed enough times to become popular. What led you to my post? Why would you be making claims about family and friends (people close to me) when I haven’t mentioned the views of my family and friends in any of this.

Nawor3565,

This post is on the front page of Lemmy when sorting by hot, just fyi (that’s how I found it). Lemmy is a small forum so it doesn’t take much to get to the front page.

Kernal64,

There are several red flags that this is a mental health issue before that point IMO, but yeah, that’s for sure the clincher.

I hope you can find a measure of peace, OP. My opinion is that you should really seek an evaluation, but whatever path you take, I hope things improve for you.

Tar_alcaran,

I’m not a psychologist, but I’m a true pro at wikipedia-diagnosis. Let me leave this here: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gang_stalking

Gang stalking or group-stalking is a set of persecutory beliefs in which those affected believe they are being followed, stalked, and harassed by a large number of people. The term is associated with the “targeted individual” (“T.I.”) virtual community formed by like-minded individuals who claim their lives are disrupted from being stalked by organized groups intent on causing them harm

ParabolicMotion,

UPDATE: It could have been unrelated to all of this, but after I was released early from training today, I turned down a rural road to go home, in my vehicle. It was the same road I took to go to training today. I looked back in my mirror, and noticed a vehicle was tailgating me. I didn’t think anything of it, until I saw the lightbar on top of the vehicle. The vehicle tailgating me was law enforcement. I was going the speed limit on that rural road, and so was a truck in front of me.

The law enforcement vehicle proceeded to tail gate me for over a mile, at a low speed. The vehicle then passed me, pretty much cut me off, and began tailgating the truck in front of me, until turning right, two intersections after tailing him (or her).

As the law enforcement vehicle turned, I noticed it was a local sheriff’s SUV with a K-9 decal on the rear passenger side. The law enforcement vehicle, did not accelerate. It continued at the same speed that it was going when it was tailgating me, or so it appeared.

Should I be concerned, or let it go? This is part of the reason why I am hesitant to walk into their office and report my spouse as potentially missing. Just my luck, I will walk in, and be face to face with one of my ex boyfriends from my years spent in high school, and he won’t take any report seriously, or care. He might even make my life a living hell for trying to file a report.

orphiebaby,

Note from moderator: The comments here are walking a thin line and I’m not always sure which to remove. But here’s my advice for y’all:

I’m not against people saying OP likely has schizophrenia and has paranoid delusions. I’m not sure how insensitive it may be to make those arguments. But for the love of god please watch your tone and phrasing, and use some common-sense empathy when people are struggling with mental health. I’m removing a few of the more callous-sounding comments, but I’m not sending any warnings unless they’re really mean. Thank you.

Update: also feel free to report comments if you think they are too mean.

givesomefucks,

You removed mine for saying the name of the thing OP appears to be experiencing…

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gang_stalking

Gang stalking or group-stalking is a set of persecutory beliefs in which those affected believe they are being followed, stalked, and harassed by a large number of people.[1] The term is associated with the “targeted individual” (“T.I.”) virtual community formed by like-minded individuals who claim their lives are disrupted from being stalked by organized groups intent on causing them harm

Not sure if you knew that or thought it was an insult.

But it’s highly relevant and people experiencing this can benefit from seeing that it is a relatively common thing that can manifest from paranoia. Just being aware of it can help break them out of it.

orphiebaby, (edited )

That’s not why I removed it. If you’re trying to post a helpful comment in response to a mental health issue, I recommend phrasing it in a way that doesn’t sound ambiguously toxic. That’s not a rule or demand, it’s just why I removed it.

Update: For context, it was a minimalistic statement along the lines of “I thought all the gang stalker victims were on Reddit” or something-- I forget the exact phrasing. I only removed that and one other comment here, and performed no other moderator actions; because I couldn’t tell the intention of the commenter, and I’m not here to “crack down” on people unnecessarily. If I took the nature of the comment the wrong way, then 1. so could OP, which is the point of the removal, and 2. you can always try posting again in a different way. We’re all chill here, or so I hope, fam.

Welcome to being a mod-- people will always think you either do too little or do too much, and your decision is always wrong. I’ve accepted this. But I do like to be transparent and chill.

givesomefucks,

Ok…

Thanks for telling me why you did then I guess…

orphiebaby,

I further updated my explanation, there you go.

amio,

So... either the entire world is stalking you, or you have severe psychiatric issues. Please see a health specialist if at all possible.

Nobody here can help you, nor should they try.

GluWu,

deleted_by_moderator

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  • phoukas,

    That’s pretty callous. This is obviously someone in a long-term battle with their mental health. It’s not hard to just scroll past instead of leaving a hurtful comment.

    ParabolicMotion,

    I would like the mods to examine the IP addresses of the people leaving abusive comments on my post. I have concerns that these comments are from one individual from the same IP address, or perhaps a group of men in their 30’s-40’s who are all related, and living in the same local area as me. Please consider that the ones stalking me do not draw the line at social media. They are browsing my posts and comments.

    orphiebaby,

    I promise you these are all different people, just responding how they naturally would to posts such as yours. The internet can be a mean place, and some people are easier targets than others. And it’s unlikely any of the commenters here know you personally.

    Either way-- regardless of which events may not be happening-- your issues sound tough. Please speak to a professional mental health worker, and I wish you well.

    givesomefucks,

    Man, I thought the gang stalking community stayed on Reddit?

    paysrenttobirds,

    I don’t have any advice, but I want to say I am very sorry you are going through this and have had this hanging over your life for so many years.

    ParabolicMotion,

    Thanks. By the time anyone bothers to investigate it, my exes will probably no longer work for law enforcement, and new law enforcement will be sifting through old employee records. I just hope no one makes good on those death threats before then. I have been trying to pay off debts that I incurred from changing jobs. I have debt due to all of the bullying. It has been almost impossible to put any income towards savings, to prepare for my retirement. At 35, the idea of retirement is not that far away from now. If I keep being bullied out of jobs by all of this, I won’t be able afford to exist after age 60. I can barely afford to exist now. I miss having a contracted job, with health benefits. My kids lost their health care coverage when all of this happened. So did I, but after signing over my kids, they were picked up by my mother’s health insurance. Every time I start to rebuild my life, I’m bullied out of it.

    ParabolicMotion,

    There is always someone who upvotes, or downvotes everything I post, or comment, within minutes of putting it online. Even when I post something in a low traffic forum, like offmychestgood. I am fairly certain that the ex of mine who works for the sheriff’s department, is sniffing my phone, and using his law enforcement gear to stalk me online. I am tired of being stalked. I know he will most likely be the first person to view this comment, and it will most likely be downvoted immediately.

    kebabslob,

    Those may also be bots. Its a public facing API so I don’t think its too difficult to set up

    ParabolicMotion,

    True, but in 2016, I rolled over in bed, and saw my phone screen light up on its own, and apps being opened without anyone touching my screen. It only happened once, and I never saw that happen again, but it looked like someone was opening my settings on my phone, with a Remote Desktop sort of application. That was three years after all of this began. I think my ex boyfriend began sniffing my phone, and maybe even hacking it. The fact that he was present to hand me a folder of forms at the sheriff’s facility, after I called to arrange a time to pick them up, tells me that he has the ability to stalk me through my phone. I doubt someone at the desk turned around and read off the names of people picking up records, so that he could be there to interfere.

    Nawor3565,

    Sorry to say, that but that sort of thing doesn’t really exist. Not on iPhone and not on Android. If they did somehow manage to hack your phone, it would not show up on the screen in a visible way, it would happen in the background without your knowledge.

    I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I really think you may want to seek medical help for schizophrenia. I mean, what do you have to lose? At best, it could solve all of this, and at worst, you’ve wasted some time and are back to square one.

    visnae,

    Nono they do exist. We use them in lab setups.

    ParabolicMotion,

    Yeah, it does exist. Splashtop remote desktop app can do that. So can Blue Stacks. With blue stacks, all you need is a phone number and email account of the person who created an iCloud account for their iPhone. As soon as you have those two items, you can access their screen remotely. I used it once on my own device to try to remotely control my mobile screen while projecting a work related game on a larger screen. It worked really well, but if the owner of a mobile device wasn’t the one using it, it could become illegal.

    Nawor3565,

    BlueStacks is for emulating an android phone on a PC. It’s not a remote desktop app, and regardless such apps can’t be used to control iPhones due to the way iOS sandboxes applications from the system.

    Either way, all such apps need to have connections approved by hand on the device they’re connecting to. I think Occam’s Razor applies here- is there really a world-class hacker breaking into your phone using crappy, easy-to-spot remote desktop software? Or is there a simpler explanation?

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