It’s also possible you’re talking to someone in the long tail of that bell curve who is already taking care of themselves. You are making a lot of assumptions and your attempt to push responsibility onto him when he may in fact be in the lowest percent of that bell curve, and if he is, your well-intentioned controversial opinion is like throwing salt in his wounds.
People always just assume they can do this with this problem. If someone has mental health issues, they tell them to seek help. If someone has physical issues, they tell them to see a doctor. If they have relationship issues, “Oh, it’s all your fault, man. Work on yourself.” even in the absence of ANY evidence.
I know it’s uncomfortable to think about the people in that bottom 1% of the bell curve who are completely helpless and overwhelmed, but victim blaming isn’t a good way to deal with it.