**A Poem by Oral Arukenova**

Fog of January

I.

mama used to tell me
there’s nothing more beautiful than a word
more terrible than a word
papa used to tell me
there’s nothing more vital than the truth
more frightful than the truth
the she-wolf inside me whispers
there’s nothing more powerful than your den
more helpless than your den
I tell myself have no fear
this is nothing but words —
the truth home blood

II. fog of january

no stars no moon in the lackluster sky
just the glint of explosions
in high rise windows
the whole world decomposed
in chaos and smoke.
concealed in the fog
of the high and prestigious
they dripped to the center
husky and bearded
ghosts from the past:
assassins
from the lowlier places
came the angered crowds
to mount and ride
the petroleum-dollar bull
to splash their fury
on glamorous symbols
of life’s own masters and civil servants.
the apple city’s people
could not immediately tell
the firecrackers’ bangs
from machine gun fire
from apartment windows
in hesitant trickles
through thunder and char
the prayers broke through
for morning for evening
many times over
for friday
for saturday
for sunday.
gusting the panic crept spreading
from messages unanswered
and calls
exalted exclamations
oh you’re alive
what’s happening where you are
they said on TV
that they’re shooting civilians
why would you ever go to putin.
no stars no moon in the lackluster sky
just the glint of explosions
in high rise windows
the whole world decomposed
in chaos and smoke.

III. between west and east

between west and east
your yes is my no.
aruaqtar
shelter me from empty words
leaving a pitiful trace
may the web of intrigue and
foreign grievances pass me by.
let no be no
without my judgment
without higher judgment
judgment otherworldly
with a sense of guilt
where any step
is a crime that
is followed by death
physical or spiritual.
people and odors both radiate:
yes – fully half of us
are pathological
with pronounced signs of skin color
no – the world consists
of colorless chameleons.
may it pass me by
your yes and your no
motherland neighbor foe.

*Aruaqtar (Kazakh) are the spirits of the ancestors.

(originally published in february 2022, translated by shelley fairweather-vega)

source: https://singaporeunbound.org/suspect-journal/2022/3/31/fog-of-january

oral arukenova is an accomplished novelist, poet, literary critic, translator from kazakhstan > she writes in kazakh and russian

the poem "fog of january" refers to the nationwide protests in january 2022 against the dictatorship in kazakhstan

from the translator's statement:

In early January 2022, Central Asia was rocked by the bloody aftermath of unexpected protests in Kazakhstan. Those protests started out peacefully, but soon turned chaotic, with official announcements that unspecified "terrorists" had invaded the country in an attempt to topple the government, and orders were issued to shoot to kill. Soldiers imported from Russia appeared in the streets. Protesters dispersed quickly in half a dozen cities, but in Almaty, the cultural capital, the chaos grew worse. Over the course of several foggy January days, the time usually dedicated to celebrating the New Year devolved into a nightmare. Innocent people of all ethnicities, young and old, were shot where they stood or were arrested and disappeared. More than a month later, no list of the dead and injured and arrested has yet been made available, and nobody is even sure how many are dead or missing.

many kazakh artists joined these protests - oral arukenova is one of them > the singapore unbound team deserves all praise for having supported kazakh artists by quickly publishing their poems, essays, pictures and short stories in april 2022, thereby helping to make the kazakh struggle for democracy known internationally > in the aftermath of the january protests, although kazakhstan did not become a full democracy, the kazakh society changed once and for all - with many reforms going on until now, kazakhstan shifted from autocracy to enter transition toward democracy > also the war in ukraine has contributed to this process: many progressives emigrated to kazakhstan, and they do their best to support democratic voices and social activism in kazakhstan > therefore, everything currently happening in kazakhstan is interesting and inspiring