Honestly when i first got into coding i liked the fact it could give me jobs i could do from every part of the world, that is still on demand and that gave a certain freedom on how you approach technology and customize it to make it your own, i always liked to tinker around with computer and i even have a small home server i use for several stuff. I loved how useful internet was to find informations otherwise unreachable and share stuff without censorship woth everyone, as i said i love the story of the cypherpunk movement, i see bitcoin as a real solution to our obsolete economy, and i thought i would have liked to have a role into changing this shitty system paradigms, my target was to work with lightining network or similar protocols maybe one day. However i feel like i’m changing lately and i’m lacking human interactions so much, there’s no point in building something toghether if there’s no emotions to share with others before, during and after the process. Maybe it’s just how i’m made, but i cannot stick to it, i just get super depressed and i see no point in doing it. Maybe i’m just lazy i don’t know, but it is like that.
Adding the fact that sometimes i feel like technology controls me, and not the opposite despite all the efforts i make, feels just super wrong and not how i want to live.
I’m studying webdevelopment so i’ve had the opportunity to work only on simple stuff so far, but it already feels super overwhelming, sometimes i get lost just in setting up my coding environment, just to realize it will only be one of many i’ll need to learn how to work with.