One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms “You have finally freed me after all these years, so I’ll grant each one of you 3 wishes.” The first guy immediately blurts out “I want a billion dollars.” POOF, he’s holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50 The second man thinks for a bit, then says “I want to be the richest man alive.” POOF, he’s holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion. The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says “I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life.” POOF, his arm starts rotating. The Genie tells them it’s time for their second wish. First guy says: “I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth.” POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm. Second guy says “I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want.” POOF, his looks change and the first guy’s wife immediately starts flirting with him. Third guy says “I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die.” POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions. The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish. First guy does, and after a while says “I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die.” POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don’t bother him any more. Second guy says “I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever.” POOF, he looks younger already. Third guy smiles triumphantly and says “My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth.” POOF, he’s now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around. The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: “I’ve invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I’ve never gotten so much as a cold in all these years.” Second guy smiles and says “Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I’m still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven’t aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed.” Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
Hey, so I know some of you may be new or may have never wrapped your head around what any of this federation stuff means regarding Lemmy, so I aim to keep this simple while linking to more detailed posts for those interested in more technical background at the bottom....
Mostly hes just annoying as fuck. He tries hard to be a philosopher (How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real is an act actual quote of his) and…myself…I just hate that damn look he always has on his face lol
‘Roof Ninja’ Woman Secretly Lived in Grocery Store Sign for Nearly a Year (www.thedailybeast.com)
Addiction is a scary thing (lemmy.world)
It's the little joys in life that get you through a tough week. (lemmy.world)
Funniest title wins (lemmy.world)
He's just... unbearable (i.imgur.com)
New York is suing crisis pregnancy centers for hawking "abortion reversal" (www.motherjones.com)
Anon installs Linux (lemmynsfw.com)
Fool me once... (lemmy.world)
Boston (lemmy.world)
Sovcit's employer is confused by sovcit. (lemmy.world)
There need to be some freebie days (lemmy.world)
[PSA] Lemmy World Federation Delays
Hey, so I know some of you may be new or may have never wrapped your head around what any of this federation stuff means regarding Lemmy, so I aim to keep this simple while linking to more detailed posts for those interested in more technical background at the bottom....
New York attorney general sues facilities promoting ‘abortion pill reversal’ (www.theguardian.com)
Heartbeat International, affiliated with more than 2,000 facilities, aims to convince people to continue their pregnancies...
Boeing forced to scrub first crewed Starliner launch to the space station (www.nbcnews.com)
The launch attempt was called off roughly two hours ahead of the planned liftoff....
They say your body is the only instrument that doesn't require any lessons (lemmy.world)
rule (lemmy.world)
Forcing workers back to the office could be terrible for the environment (www.motherjones.com)
deleted_by_moderator
Hmmm (lemmy.world)