Phoebe

@Phoebe@feddit.de

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Phoebe,

I think it’s kinda sad when a kid really blames their parents that it was born.

I come from a deeply traumatized and broken family. I’ve had this believe for a long time. But by blaming my parents i am just reducing myself, my value and my autonomy. And i am reducing the complexity of life, history and my parents 🤔

Don’t mind me, i am just philosophicly reflecting on my life.

Phoebe,

To have children or not is a deeply personal choice ☺️

And also personal is the search for meaning in ones own existence. While searching we create: life, art, relationships, meaning. Memes. I think life becomes a burden, when external factors keep you from creating the meaning that you care for.

But speaking as a historian: we put a lot of presure on parents over the last decades. And the same presure on kids. It is relateable that having children or just excisting has become so… whats a fitting english word?.. not desireable?

Phoebe,

You know, believing that only leads to depression, i figure out. A depression, where nothing starts to matter and nothing could bring joy, so the only choice one can really have is… not participating in life anymore.

And it reduce parents to selfish beings and can lead to not seeing them as people (who mostly have feelings for their own kids).

Phoebe,

There is a difference between just giving birth and actual raising children. Between birth parents, adopted parents… There a plenty scenarios that exist: parents diying, family torn apart by war, parents becoming addicted. The queer community has a strong connection to found family. And of course all the people that never want and never will have children.

There are a lot of things in this world that could be much, much better right now. But the question, if life itself has a meaning is old as civilisation. But that’s a thing noone can really answer. shouldn’t we ask ourself what could we do to create a world where we all can live in? Where we all can participate, been heared and seen?

I think giving birth is not the problem, but billionars and companies destroying our World and our lives since decades. And no one seem to make them responsibil for it.

When climate change hits us, there is a big chance that rich people will survive and will try to form a world as they please. They could erase feminism, queer folk, the diversity of culture, democraty. They will erase the fact that they destoried our world. So the humans that remain will be like slaves to them.

Phoebe,

Ich hatte ein langes Wochenende und konnte die Sonne genießen. War schwimmen, bin Roller gefahren und hatte leckeres Essen. Ich habe sogar ein Bild malen können 😊

Mein Freund ist Samstag zu seinen Eltern nach Köln gefahren und wollte Sonntag Morgen zurückkommen. Aber das viel ins Wasser: immer wieder sind Personen ins Gleis bei Mühlheim gelaufen. Nach 2 Stunden kam endlich ein Zug, die Strecke wurde freigegeben, er setzt sich rein und dann die Nachricht “Strecke wird wieder gesperrt. Die gleiche Person scheint wieder am Gleis rumzulaufen…”.

Wir waren ziemlich mit den Nerven am Ende. Die Zugführer auch. Haben dann den Sonntag Videospiele gezockt.

Phoebe,

Yes. I search a good figdet toy, but all i find online is either shitty or mega expensiv. There is like no way of finding these things in local stores.

Phoebe,

I am agreeing with you. I use TS or discord for years for ttrogs, but always had the problem, that my high voice is cut of by the programms. It’s frustrating to figure out how to change that and finding a solution that sounds nice.

As always: if men would have these problems, it would be fixed in a short time.

I was always ashamed of my voice and thought i could not create potcasts, Videos or everything else voice based. I thought noone would like my voice. One day a stranger came up to me and told me i sound like daisy duck, while talking to a friend… 😒

Phoebe,

tap tap tap

You know… on saturday i had a pretty bad headache and felt asleep on the couch… my boyfriend woke me up an hour later to show me this new phenomenon on Necralisk. And that a lot of tennos just standing there listening.

I was awake immediately and felt a shiver… Never thought one sound could make me so hyped!

I am so excited for the future of warframe to come!

Phoebe,

18€ a month, cause in germany we have the gez gebühren to keep journalism in good quality

Phoebe,

Ich möchte den tollen Move des deutschen Schachverbunds nutzen um zu sagen: aus historischer Sicht ist der “biologische Vorteil” eines Geschlechts C in Thema Y erstunken und erlogen.

Nachdem Religion und Naturmagie vom Wissenschaft abgelöst wurde, wird sie gerne von Nicht-Wissenschaftlern gerne zweckentfremdet, um Gatekeeping zu legitimieren. Wer kann schon etwas ernsthaftes gegen psyeudo medizinische oder biologische Argumente sagen? Für Laien sind sie schwer zu entlarven und kaum von realen wissenschaftlichen Meinungen zu unterscheiden.

Wenn Frauen falsch trainiert werden, sie keinen Zugang zu gleichen Möglichkeiten haben, die Möglichkeiten nicht ihrem Körper entsprechen, oder sie durch Hausarbeiten/ Kinder davon abgehalten werden, zeit für Sport y zu widmen… dann kann man auch keine haltbaren Datenlagen erschaffen.

Phoebe,

Ein biologischer Unterschied macht noch keinen biologischen Vorteil. Ein Unterschied legitimiert auch noch keine strinkte Trennung aufgrund von einem Faktor X. Das ist grob das, worauf ich hinaus möchte.

Das Thema ist sehr komplex und kann nicht mittels kurzer Nachrichten erklärt werden. Werde grade zum essen gerufen :D

Es ist schon wiederlegt, dass Testosteron-Mengen in weiblich gelesen Körpern einen Vorteil in Menge an Sportarten X geben soll. Es hat keine signifikante Auswirkung auf die sportliche Leistung einer Frau. Was aber bewiesen werden kann ist, dass schwarze Frauen und Frauen mit natürlich hohem Testosteron Werten von Sportarten ausgeschlossen werden, weil eine Angst vor TransFrauen geschürt wird. Hier gibt es einen Unterschied, aber keinen Vorteil.

Dazu empfehle ich gerne Videos von JessieGender aber auch Dokus des BR zu zyklusbasierenden Trainings. Muss nun zu meinem Freund zum food

Phoebe,

Ich mag die Idee, einen Teil des Geldes als reale Unterstützung für das Kind jetzt zu haben, und einen anderen Teil in einen Ausbildungspott zu legen. Mit Zinsen und allem, was das Geld erhöht.

So dass am Ende eine Summe dabei raus kommt, mit der ein Kind seine Ausbildung/ sein Studuim selbstbestimmt stemmen kann.

Aber ich vergesse wieder, dass wir keine Kinder von armen Leuten mögen… bin keine gute neoliberale person :/

Phoebe,

verwirrte öffentliche Dienst Geräusche

Phoebe,

One point to keep in mind: a lot of people are not educated to know these kind of things. In my country we tell our kids to function and blame them when they don’t function. It set an impossible high standart on very young people. But it is a relique from germanys problematic past, where people where only seen as Instruments.

I like to read neurodivergent content, because it gives me a much better insight in how the brain works. The content does not judge you and it does not blame you. This is appealing to people, who only start to realize how horrible the’ve been raised.

I would argue to work together to chance a system, that does not support human as diverse as they are.

Phoebe,

Give me Titels of the books i need to avoid!

Phoebe,

Same with my younger sibling. It was very obvios early in their life, but we didn’t had words for it either. Didn’t understand and didn’t took it that serious.

I had my period with 11 years, but suffered till i was 30. Cause it was a tabu to talk about that. I need to Suffer, i was told. BS.

It is crucial to give kids knowledge that they are not wrong. That they are not weird. That they know everything is okay and their parents are here guiding them. AND they need to know that other people are not weird so they can learn empathy.

How do I avoid becoming a crotchety old man? I’m seriously asking.

You know the type, probably a good father or worker, but serious faced all the time, never smiles, often in a bad mood, very cynical. It’s just I feel like I’m on the path to this, I’m 28, just escaped 12 years of food service so I’m already super cynical and if someone comes up to me, I’m super ready to shut down...

Phoebe,

I might understand how you feel. Opening up is a good first step. But after that? I don’t know. What steps to take and how long your path will be… no one knows.

Whenever anxiety tries to take controll of me… whenever i am angry at my own progress, i think about a little story:

A man takes a morning-walk on the beach. During the night there was a terrible storm, spreading tousands of seastars over the sand. He sees a woman trying to bring the seastars back to the water.

He walk up to her and asks: “why are you even doing this? You will just save a few, but the majority will die when the sun rises.”

She bend down to pick one seastar up and throws it into the ocean. “Maybe. But this one i have saved.”

Changing is hard and often feels pointless. The only thing we can do is doing things step by step.

Phoebe,

Mindwandering while conversation/ sex was always annoying to me. I never understood why i am doing this and how to turn it off, cause “everyone else seems to get it right” and they made me feel bad for it.

It is importaint to talk about these stuff and reach out to people, who feel the same way.

Phoebe,

I wanna eat the real spicy food! In germany everything is watered down so n00bs can eat it🥲

Phoebe,

Thank you 🥰

When it comes to japanese food, Düsseldorf is really great. Cause i studied there i know some good Restaurants and supermarkets 😆 but i take recomondations all around nrw.

i really want to taste spicy indian food or try other asian food, that is not so common here 🤔

My best friend visited south korea a few years ago. She never liked spicy food, but said it was so good there, she now likes this stuff.

Phoebe,

This is not a legal passage. It is violating your autonomie and is highly discriminating. Why do i have to explain that in 2023…?

You can sign a contract with problematic passages. Your signing doesn’t make illigal stuff legal. And you don’t agree with illigal stuff just by signing. It is the same with rental agreements or other contracs.

The lore protects people from abuse of power and arbitrariness.

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