@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

indigotyrian

@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay

"You cannot have my pain."

Dollposting, Gaming, Fiction, and other Assorted Things

Avatar by Cura Sylfaen / Banner by Gabriela Bosco

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winter, to random
@winter@translunar.academy avatar

"I'm not autistic but I have autistic friends and family so--"

🌸 fuck off :senkohappy:

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@winter every single fucking time I run into someone who says something like this they are always always always abusive toward autistic folks

18+ zeldah, to random
@zeldah@chai.kibbutz.gay avatar

a trans woman feeling like testosterone is her personal poison and expressing that is not calling testosterone poison for other people

trans women should be allowed to express “testosterone was poison” without it being interpreted as an attack on people who it’s not poison for and a universal statement for everyone else

let trans women express our trauma for fuck’s sake and shut up with your transmisogyny

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@winter @zeldah yeah but we need another reason to yell at transfems

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Would it be particularly odd if I had DID on top of all my other bull shit

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

aaaaaaaaaa my favorite ES writer shared one of my stories :nekomimi_girl_emoji_002:

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani Wintergreen 😋

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

a good friend of mine just told me “if I saw someone treating another person the way you treat yourself I would punch them in the mouth” and i wish i knew how to process this or be better about it. i wish i knew how to be my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy.

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

is it normal to break down sobbing and crying while doing your morning grooming routine

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

I hurt the love of my life last night and have zero recollection of it, my body is a misshapen ugly broken mess, I'm trapped in an abusive job with terrible pay, i don't have the money to fix myself, the thing I got for my birthday doesnt work for what I wanted it for, I think about ending it daily

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

why can't I get a .doll tld

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

I always had a fantasy where I was a heroic sacrifice. I die in a huge explosion or in a last stand against impossible odds giving other, better people time to escape and live another day

Maybe I can actually have my fantasy irl now

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani I want to be gone. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to die. If I can die in service of something better than me that'd be ideal.

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani if I haven't earned the right to anything I guess that explains why I should just be put in a labor camp

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani I see. I appreciate that, I do. I'm sorry I'm not more... Receptive I suppose. I'm usually abandoned pretty quickly. If you vanish too I won't hold it against you.

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Even among misfits I’m a misfit.

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani not really. its my lot in life to get shunned, exiled, and kicked out of places I find myself comfortable in

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

awawawawa they put my actual name on my sandwich at jimmy johns!!!!!

normally they just do the combo number but today they actually put my name on there 😊

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Tooth update: turns out it's not a cavity. It's an abfraction from tooth grinding. Just need to keep it clean and use high fluoride toothpaste and I'll be okay. Feeling better about it but still nervous... I need to be better about wearing my mouth guard

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Two cavities. On the sides of my incisors. Caused by soda probably. I hope they're just fillings and don't need a root canal or anything. I'm so scared. I'm terrified. I don't know what I'll do if I need a root canal.

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

20000 characters is a shitton… is it possible to get in-line pictures in a post on akkoma? If so I might just move all my long-form posting from cohost over to here. I still love my Tyrian essay and I’d hate for it to be stuck on the furry sugar daddy site

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

i’m hearing from multiple folks I believe to be trustworthy and tasteful individuals that the new fallout TV series is… good? what

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

executive function depleted so low that I'm currently lying on the floor catatonic after doing almost nothing at all today

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

awawa

DivineKestrel, to random
@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

And by "therapy," I mean "buying everything in my size from the Torrid clearance rack."

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani @jamie_blumberg @DivineKestrel grats!!!

indigotyrian, to random
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

Hi hi!

I’m Indigo, or Indi if you’d like. I’m a (as of this writing, very recently) trans, CPTSD-surviving/autistic/ADHD/BPD hobbyist game modder/designer and writer. I have a deep love for science fiction, the darker, grittier, hornier, more politically charged, and more inscrutable the better. I grew up almost symbiotically attached to an IBM/Compatible PC which has influenced basically everything about me. I’m told I’m a pretty good cook, too.

I’d like to share my thoughts on things, whether that be game design, retrocomputing ephemera, prose microfiction, or what have you, with you all.

A Few Of My Favorite Things (By Far Not Exhaustive)

🕹️: Deus Ex, Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri, Tyrian, Brigador

📖: The Stormlight Archive (really the Cosmere in general but Oathbringer changed my life), Nick “ulillillia” Smith (only semi-ironically), Larry Niven’s Known Space, Harlan Ellison in general

📺: Star Trek (especially DS9), Dennou Coil, Xavier: Renegade Angel, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt

📽️: Robocop, Perfect Blue, Patlabor 2, Johnny Mnemonic

🎶: Miharu Koshi, XTC, Ryu Umemoto, Infected Mushroom

Thank you so much for having me!

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@Dani I’ll be honest, I do need to read more cyberpunk novels. Literature in general is a space I feel regretfully underread in, though I’d love to hear suggestions and such!

astrid, to random
@astrid@fedi.astrid.tech avatar

rj45 is such a funny connector if you think about it. it was designed for telephone switching in the 70s and 80s and it actually is fairly reasonably designed for a telephone signal connector. But it became used for Ethernet, and more Ethernet, and faster signals, and now we're able to send 10gbps down this little 8 pin jack from the 70s, and I'm surprised that it still works for this purpose

indigotyrian,
@indigotyrian@akko.elysium.gay avatar

@astrid with CAT7 we tried to move to a different connector and everyone hated it so much CAT7 basically doesn’t exist. we’re stuck with RJ45 lmao

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