What I’m getting is that using “to me” as the default is a safe option and the use of “for me” is more nuanced (… and I don’t understand in which sense).
I can’t quite put my finger on the rule for when you can use “for me”; perhaps there isn’t one.
I do think, however, that you can safely put “For me,” at the beginning of the sentence instead of using “to me” later: “For me, it seems…”, “For me, it looks like…”, etc.
“To me” implies you are more passive, and that the thing is happening to you.
“For me” implies that you have some active part in experiencing the thing.
All the cases you described feel more natural as a “to me” scenario, but I can imagine instances where “for me” would be used to emphasize that it is your opinion or your experience.
Yes. The only case I can think of where I might say “for me” in one of those is talking about an inevitable future event where I have no real choice.
e.g. if I only have beans in my cupboard, I might reasonably say “it looks like beans for me [for supper tonight]”. Or if I am sure I will die soon, “it seems like the end for me.”
As a native English speaker it always blows my mind when people explain the unwritten rules. I know there's a reason some things sound more "proper" than others but just think "that's the way it is" without understanding the core reasoning. I feel like I had an epiphany after reading this lol
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