I sympathize with you. I didn’t grow up catholic, but rather evangelical, but I can understand the realization that the people who taught you to love others have an ideology that is profoundly hateful. I remember the bewilderment and confusion that goes along with that realization. I didn’t leave the faith altogether, although at times it felt like I would, but I’m in a dramatically different place than I was a decade ago for sure.
All that to say that I understand at least a little of what you’re going through, and I’m sorry you’re grappling with this. It helped me to realize that there are believers out there that think differently, and that the transphobes, homophobes, racists, and reactionaries don’t own the faith.