Old soccer balls dealt critical damage on impact, especially when soaking wet
Chef, A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON
IMongoose, Take 1d4 bleed damage
Colonel_Panic_, Take 1D32 bleed damage.
Fixed it for you. (Soccer balls have 32 faces)
Kowowow, Roll to persuade your little brother not to tell mom
zurohki, Soccer balls? Is that like tennis elbow?
BakerBagel, That’s why you gotta wear a jock strap. Last thing you want is your thighs playing ping pong with your sack
NovaPrime, 
You just unlocked some core memories. I had this exact same type of ball when I was a kid. So many great moments and fun times!
doublejay1999, 
That’s not even the old sort . That’s 80s I think .
Drinvictus, If you don’t think the 80s is that old then it’s time to schedule that colonoscopy my dude
lud, Or two.
doublejay1999, Well, there were 100 years of league football before then, but thanks for you interest in my rectum.
JudahBenHur, moreso the colon overall gestures to broad area with hands
boatsnhos931, Take a moment to look at your hands, are they are all wrinkly, thin and covered in liver spots? Do you often cut yourself trying to open canned goods? Do you catch yourself going 5 under the speed limit? Do you use aspercreme to rub one out? Have you been searching for the elusive tictac app for years?
Auli, So only old people drive after rush hour. It’s odd how everyone drives slower then the speed limit when it is later.
Perfide, Not where I live. The roads are more open late so people take advantage of that to do 30-40 over.
DrBob, Jokes on you. I’ve had 4 already. Next one is 2026.
MadMadBunny, This is no way to talk; respect your elders.
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