There's a couple people in my life I've really, really worried about, but who put off actually doing anything responsible with their firearms while they were/still are going through such inner turbulence.
Its weighed on them, and even though I've tried to be respectful about how I express my concerns, I worry that my being concerned weighs on them, too, but it means so many things- having to admit to problems, face them, call attention to them, face financial repercussions, etc.
I don't know you, but I'm so extremely proud of you.
This is one of those things that should be common sense behavior, but is actually an incredibly difficult action to take. It says so much of you as a person.
Even if you can't be Happy, being a person with that kind of integrity is something you should allow yourself to appreciate.