Finally paid all my bills and found a new endocrinologist! Getting out of my depression and clearing the stack of stressors chewing up my bandwidth which is getting me further out of my depression.
oh my fucking god i have a girl name and she/her pronouns now oh god oh fuck
for as long as i can remember i never liked my name but i could never find any masc or unisex name that fit but even just getting used to a new, femme name and i’m already getting flustered just referring to myself as that in my own head
Feels pretty great, don’t it? After so long, it still makes my heart jump hearing my pronouns and my name. I hope the same goes for you meow-hug
I was in the same boat. I actually started using a pseudonym about 15 years before my egg cracked. I hated my deadname and I honestly didn’t know why. Kinda just took it as fact and left it at that. And now that old legal name is gone and should never be uttered ever again =w=
Hasn’t worn off for me - over three years in and I still have to rewind a conversation in my head to figure out who they’re talking about when strangers use my pronouns. Then I realize “oh duh they’re just calling me what I am” and I get all smiley.
my trans coworker today who i thought was a soft demsoc: madeline-angry “china good, v*aush bad, cuba good, social democracy is the moderate wing of fascism (came to this conclusion without knowing the quote), market economy bad, socialism good, river to the sea”
I know I just made a post about male failing in the last mega, but it happened again today and when I got home I started crying from happiness.
I was specifically wearing a sweater and jeans from my old, male life, and no make-up, because I was at the post-office picking up a package addressed to deadname and I was worried they would need ID, so I wanted to appear male. Everything is normal until I give my signature, then the guy looks completely confused and asks “deadname is you??”, and I realise he thought I was picking up the package for someone else, and I have to explain that it is in fact me and I didn’t write the wrong name.
At first I was like why the fuck would this guy be suprised I’m the package recipient when I’m the one picking it up???, then in about a minute I realised it has to be because he thought the name didn’t fit me, which could pretty much only be because of gender.
When it happened once last week it could have been a fluke, but now it happened a second time just days later and it feels like it can’t be a coincidence. I read so many places to keep your expectations in check and that often you won’t see too many changes from HRT until at least 12 months, but it hasn’t even been 12 weeks yet. And while I know timelines are very individual, I just internalized that it would take a long time for me because I didn’t want to be let down from high expectations, and now I don’t know how to deal with this insane amount of gender euphoria.
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