I am not young or dating. We do have friends that are 25 and under. They are men and they do complain a lot about the dating scene. I am also a professor and I work with 18 to 25 year-olds. I can only say that there is a greater sense of anxiety among these students and that they all pay much closer attention to their appearance than before.
Cause: societal expectations and dating apps
There are other things to note here. I do think changes occurred, and dating apps gave some people an unfair advantage and commodified dating. Leading up to the incel movement in the 90s and early 2000s, the idea of PUAs was already in full swing. That type of trend was, and still is, very toxic and I see how it messed up my brother-in-law (he still thinks negging his partner is a kind way to control her).
I can’t speak for societal expectations. I have noticed that some of my male friends, who have been single since their 20s (they are 40+ now), have things in common: overweight/underweight, bald, low income, hobbies like video games.
Possible Consequences: desperation, depression, gender standards, violence
I can absolutely imagine at least 2 of my partner’s friends being violent. They talk about women using terms like “libtard” or make assumptions based on haircuts. They are becoming openly racist, especially when they see biracial couples.
Another group of friends have given up on dating and now focus on their wellbeing and hobbies. They do not seem angry about their circumstances. If you ask them why they are single, they say they cannot afford a partner.
Solutions: balance
The responses are probably lacking. Balance might be a good idea. Pointing out double standards is a start. When speaking with couples in their 20s, I have heard some women state that it took them years to realise that they had unrealistic expectations—they should someday mention that to their children. We cannot blame social media or control it, but the press should stop sensationalizing it. Mental healthcare for men shouldn’t be stigmatized.
My thoughts
Videos like this should have some age limit on them. It does not contain all of the information required to come to a decision and could lead a younger person down a rabbit hole of biases. In turn, they could be lead to MRM forums and echo chambers. Amateur news summaries like this, no matter how many source cited, can quickly become part of an alternative information network and exacerbate the very problem they are highlighting.
I appreciate your thoughts; however, I believe that not age-restricting videos like this is crucial to initiating a discussion on this topic.
The first step towards a solution is to break the taboo around this topic; this will pave the way for higher-quality videos that are paired with awareness.
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