Oh man, that’s some serious shit. In Italy, those gnarled clumps of hail are referred to as Il testicolo congelato di Satana which, translated to English means Satan’s Frozen Testicle.
Mmmkay, but if I were to buy one of those nut butter steaks, it sure as shit better come with one of those little meat diapers in the bottom of the package.
Okay, hear me out on this one. I know it’s a little off-kilter from the main topic of the post, buuuuuuut…
If the Sky Homies really wanted to convince us that Jesus was the son of god, why didn’t Joseph have him? You know? It’s one thing to say, “Right, so here’s what happened: a goddamn mothman flew into my room, knocked me up without banging me, I totally didn’t cheat, and this kid’s gonna be the shiiiit someday.”
It would be a whole other irrefutable, indisputable, holy fucking titballs buckle up Nancy type of situation if it went like this: “Hey, my name’s Joseph. You can call me Joe. Anyways, I just shat out a kid, pretty sure that’s a miracle.”
The End. Fin. Salute.
But nope, people are supposed to believe the first one. Swing and a miss, I’d say.
I’m confused as to why the administrator of feline-to-ass torture is holding two cats. Certainly a man’s cavity is incapable of accepting multiple cats, right?
Tell ya what I’d do. I’d be like “Yo, Ukraine, let’s finish this shit.” And Ukraine would be all like, “Oh yeah? Why don’t you finish deez nutz?!” I’d probably laugh a little bit at that, but I wouldn’t let Ukraine see me. Then I’d go “Nah man, for real. Let’s square up at Chuck E. Cheese.”
Ukraine probably thinks we’re in for a parking lot fight, or some shit like that, but nope. I’d challenge Ukraine to a fucking winner-takes-all ski ball match. And you know what? Ukraine would goddamn accept.
I’d intentionally be a little bit late, so Ukraine would be all hanging out in the parking lot and shit, getting hyped up and rowdy. Then, I’d roll up in that glorious janky-ass bitch with the curved up deck.
I know what’s up. Ukraine knows what’s up. We do this thing.
It’s goddamn savage. I’m not just hitting the middle hole, no… I’m fucking sinking shots into those little corner holes that are worth, like, 10,000 points a goddamn piece.
It’s merciless. Unrelenting. Ukraine loses epically, and collect their casualties as they slink into the darkness on the edge of the parking lot.
Fuck me, though, because I gotta deal with this goddamn aircraft carrier in a Chuck E. Cheese situation now.
I honestly just came across it while browsing “All”, and it wasn’t that far of a scroll. Didn’t even realize how old the post was when I crafted my tomfoolery. I wonder if one person commenting brought it back to life?
Tennis ball-sized hail pounds Italy injuring more than 100 people (www.cnn.com)
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/e8465012-1e74-4777-b762-ac177ee7ed19.webp
hmmm (lemmy.world)
Decided to see what Elden Ring was all about. Day 1: (i.imgur.com)
Choose your fighter (lemmy.world)
I found this cute cat outside and took them in, it looks like their tail got all ruffed up because there's no fur on it. Does anyone know what breed it is? (lemmy.world)
Spanish activists vandalize superyacht in Ibiza believed to belong to billionaire Walmart heiress (localnews8.com)
spritz (lemmy.world)
Spawn campers are the worst (lemmy.world)
Theoden looking a bit square there (lemmy.mywire.xyz)
peanut butter rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
Daddammit (lemmy.my.id)
Man, teen arrested for allegedly posting KKK fliers around Columbia, Tennessee (www.wkrn.com)
Two people have been arrested for allegedly posting racist fliers at Black churches around Columbia.
I’m in. Lert’s gert nurts. (i.imgur.com)
Stay focused (feddit.de)
content://media/external/downloads/1000015771
There are different types of showers…
Normal...
Simpler Times (lemmy.best)
90% of All the Scientists That Ever Lived Are Alive Today (futureoflife.org)
When the can is empty and you're all out of beans... (lemmy.world)
Reddit braces for life after API changes (techcrunch.com)
Reddit and its communities are preparing for a life after the platform's API changes forced popular third-party apps to shut down.
Putin puts you in charge of the Copesnetsov. How are you winning the war for the russkies? Credible answers only.