sneekee_snek_17

@sneekee_snek_17@lemmy.world

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TW: Undergraduate Essay on Edgy Topic

Hi all, I wrote this a few days ago for , and had my initial line of argument rejected by the professor, so this is the second attempt. I struggled to write it, because if I don’t really believe something it is extremely difficult to write convincingly about it. After a long afternoon of revising though, my feelings are mixed....

sneekee_snek_17,

I see your point about the intro, the bait-and-switch was intentional, but I can see how it isn’t the best choice.

Calling out my use of the law of diminishing returns was certainly warranted. I knew that was weak, I just didn’t have the time to rework that point as much as would be needed.

As for the evolutionary disposition points, yeah those absolutely need more evidence before being used as strongly as I did, but my word limit for this was 1000-1250 and it’s sitting at like 1800 as is lol

I do have a question, though. The problem I originally had writing this, was that it felt like a mixed-bag of poorly explained ideas from actual philosophers, with nothing original or convincing to say. I still feel like that’s largely the case, what do you think?

sneekee_snek_17,

I’m with you, that except is just word salad, definitely could use some simplifying

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