@Rodeo interestingly, I'm learning a lot from this interaction. Like about how men normalize day to day misery and disconnection. So I'm very glad that this thread exists; thank you for being honest.
The topic is about being pressured to feel like a "useful man", which is a central concept of patriarchal masculinity. It's great that you are a responsible person. But you are the one missing the point here.
Human. Reducing humanity to usefulness only makes sense in a dominator model. Domination means extraction of utility from others. Maleness is good not for the reason that men are objects to be used. Maleness is good in itself. Patriarchal masculinity tells the lie that manhood is connected to a man's usefulness, to his capacity to do violence, to fight wars, to take from those who are weaker or lesser.
We should reject models of masculinity that demand maleness be connected with performance. "Masculinity must stand for the for the essential core goodness of the self".
Patriarchal masculinity demands that men perform a gender role. True masculinity celebrates the dignity of humanity without condition.