@donni@mastodon.social avatar

donni

@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

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donni, to random
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I have a lot of confidence, but only that the worst will happen

donni, to random
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There’s plenty of fish in the sea, but they only date other fish

donni, to random
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Haven't seen a dinosaur in weeks. Starting to worry

donni, to random
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Cats are only tired all the time because they stay up late reading trashy romance novels

donni, to random
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I get knocked down, and I stay down for awhile. It’s comfortable down here

donni, to random
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Never bring a plum to a knife fight. A plum will not protect you. It's easy to stab

donni, to random
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Sorry I missed your thing, I randomly forgot about all events and situations

donni, to random
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Can’t sleep due to knowing facts and having opinions

donni, to random
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It’s hard to believe I am expected to do work when I am literally a soft little lamb

donni, to random
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It’s OK for me to be annoying.It is my culture

donni, to random
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Apps need to quit calling me by my first name. You are not my friend, robot

donni, to random
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I may not fight, but I am willing to sigh dramatically to bring about a better world

donni, to random
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Fine, I’ll process my anxiety and remain a functioning human for yet another day

donni, to random
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Sunday night always feels like the weekly end of summer vacation

donni, to random
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I’ll probably figure everything out soon. Pretty close. Just need to cover almost everything

donni, to random
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If you’re reading this, you’re probably sitting, or standing, or lying down. Maybe 3 of you are falling down a well

donni, to random
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Pain is just weakness causing pain in your body

donni, to random
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Don’t just flee the scenes of crimes. Flee everywhere! It’s a good quick way to get around

donni, to random
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I've been known to jump the gun and shoot the trampoline

donni, to random
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You can do anything you put your mind to if it’s very easy

donni, to random
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A bad metaphor is like a wet carrot

donni,
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@Aethelstan it’s a simile for a bad metaphor

donni, to random
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Scientists announced today that I am not so bad once you get to know me

donni, to random
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I hope you all are feeling good and wearing comfortable shirts

donni, to random
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If you don’t stay up late, how else will you be exhausted

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