You mean things going over estimates or SM/EM complaining about it?
The combination is bad.
Whenever I argue … , I quickly “lose”,
If you see it as an argument, you’re not going to make headway. I would also question your assumption that you are correct about what their terms are. By this, I mean are you sure you understand what they value and prioritize? People often say that something is important, but show that something else is even more important.
If I want any meaningful change, I think it will need to be be something I work around management on.
It may need to start that way, but getting the team to buy in will take building trust. Which might be eroded down due to the consistent failure to meet estimates.