@MattHatton@aus.social
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MattHatton

@MattHatton@aus.social

Fuckable cartoon dog, award-winning baker, one-man think tank and farm dad simulator, amongst other things. Goes by many names.

I am not here to facilitate good life choices. Piss bread.

Would you like to join my professional network on LinkedIn?

You can't blame toilet for your sadness.

AI is just mad cow disease for computers.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

decryption, to random

if i ever start promoting the sizzle like this, take me out back and shoot me in the head, i'm done

MattHatton,
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@decryption “your boss reads this newsletter”

Cool. He’s a dough-brained shitcunt so I’m not sure this is the slam dunk strategy you think it is.

MattHatton,
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@decryption yeeting the laptop out a window is technically an action.

MattHatton, to random
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Had parent-teacher interview with for the kiddo the other day (scheduled, not "the teacher wanted to talk).

They said she's a good student and that, really, her report card is going to be full of Bs.

This is all I've been able to think about all week.

Oprah opening a big present box. It is full of bees.

MattHatton, to random
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One of those mornings where the urge to throw the computer out a window is taking a lot of effort not to succomb to.

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

TEETH
https://mastodon.social/@bsletten/112556650707437256

MattHatton,
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@jpm Yo I heard you like teeth

decryption, to random

found one of these cards on the footpath outside my house - no markings, probably chuck in the bin? No chance of finding the owner?

MattHatton,
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

@decryption Alternately: Keep it and scan it at every door with an RFID reader you go past.

See if you can find the door it unlocks.

liamvhogan, to random
@liamvhogan@aus.social avatar

LITHGOW MACCAS

MattHatton,
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@ThermiteBeGiants @Taco_lad @liamvhogan No flake here mate. Cephalopods, yes.

MattHatton, to random
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"My dude, with all due respect..."

Go and get completely fucked

MattHatton,
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If you tell me that AI-based video learning is going to stop people falling off roofs, I...just...you are going kill people.

MattHatton,
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"Nah man, AI is the future."

links to AI vendor website that basically promises no accidents ever if you use their magic computer program

lol my guy I want to see you front the Supreme Court after the inevitable accident happens to see just how far "the computer said it was safe" gets you.

MattHatton,
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After a bit more of a back and forth, old mate just goes "your [sic] entitled to your opinion just keep it respectful"

my guy. You didn't see what I wanted to say.

MattHatton,
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anywy, the boss at the day job saw the exchange and found it all hilarious - so that's something.

MattHatton,
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in other news, someone upstairs had a yabbie in a tank.

last night it escaped.

IT found it, much to their surprise, in the kitchen. Downstairs.

The yabbie is missing a claw. A non-zero number of people spent time this morning looking for the missing claw.

This is the strangest workplace.

MattHatton,
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@jpm The most amazing bit is that, apparently, the yabbie was still alive.

MattHatton,
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@jpm Unlike the previous time this happened, where it was found several months later behind a desk. It is now encased in resin.

MattHatton,
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Did I mention this is the second time a yabbie has escaped? Becuase it is.

Yes, reader, this has happened before.

Again: strangest workplace.

MattHatton,
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Ok. So. The boss went out to the BBQ shop to get something BBQ-related this afternoon.

While at the BBQ shop, he saw some amazing, over-engineered BBQ that he how really wants to by.

He was showing me this BBQ.

I off-handedly made a comment that BBQ'd garlic prawns are amazing.

He got very excited at that and went off to see what trays and things we have so tomorrow he can cook garlic prawns.

I think tomorrow we're going to have garlic prawns.

I need to be careful with my power to shitpost things into reality.

MattHatton,
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Just the strangest workplace.

MattHatton,
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Boss just poked his head into my office to inform me there are prawns in the fridge.

And salt and pepper squid.

And calamari rings.

I guess it's happening.

MattHatton,
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the boss has fired up the BBQ.

MattHatton,
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Guys.

BBQ being fired up.

MattHatton,
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

GUYS.

Crumbed prawns cooking in a tray of oil.

MattHatton,
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@decryption You make one off-hand comment and suddenly the boss is cooking up a seafood extravaganza for everyone.

MattHatton,
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@jpm I am not about to criticise the free seafood.

MattHatton, to random
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“Work for a challenging leader”

Son, that is a very red, red flag you’ve put right there in your job ad.

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