imoldgreeeg

imoldgreeeg, 11 days ago (edited 2 days ago)

Happy birthday DT. Love youse…

because I am complaining about spending money and that's kinda privileged....I am usually frugal but I when I have to buy things I just put my head down and do it all at once…so this week I have purchased new prescription sunnies, new backpack (good bellroy one that will last forever), bulk foods (cleaning things and flours etc) and then a couple of pretty and good work tops from my fav little shop. And a nice combo card holder and pencil case so I can keep my things together and not forget them (geeky but I ADORE IT). Feeling a nice dopamine rush and slight panic (I had money aside but still). I am having a beer at hopheads and might buy dinner tonight to cap off a day of running around shopping. I am not going away for long weekend so this so this is kinda my holiday…yeah? I am very good with money and on top of bills and fortunate in my current job and but I still struggle with buy good stuff that will last forever (or worse buying something new because the forever thing I own actually doesn’t do the job anymore) versus make do with nothing. Oh to have a brain that could be happy.

imoldgreeeg, 13 days ago

Shout out to everyone (inc me) who needed a day off today but had to work so is battling though. This is your official approval to go slow.

imoldgreeeg, 15 days ago

I have discovered a problem with finally having a really comfy bed…I don’t want to get up. It’s cold out there.

imoldgreeeg, 15 days ago

Got a new bed today (my last was pretty makeshift) so tonight I am gonna make my bed, then I’m gonna lie in it .

imoldgreeeg, 26 days ago

Kinda just laying here in a stressed out but exhausted state from the week. Had a bite to eat but too tired for much else. Think I am gonna pour a drink and make a list of the work life things that have to happen next week then go to bed. I hate feeling like I left everything in a mess but nothing seemed to get finished this week and I can already feel the wave building up for next . Gah hopefully it’s just grey day blues

imoldgreeeg, 1 month ago

Had a very strange dream last night. It was lovely. A big party (I think it was a wedding). All sorts of people were there including some people I haven’t seen for years. And one family member in particular was there and happy and we have a beautiful talk about how she is feeling happy and healthy and everything is wonderful.

Then you wake up and remember that person died nearly a decade ago. I don’t really believe in that sort of heaven but its so nice to think they are at peace and happy (and watching - I certainly still talk to her all the time in my head). But man oh man am I feeling fragile today. Just needed to tell someone before I have a coffee and put my game face on for work. Hug your loved ones peeps.

imoldgreeeg, 1 month ago

I am over the worst of the cold but pretty fatigued and have a lovely hacking cough… I am getting really depressed about the state of my home though - haven’t had the energy to tidy/clean/cook much or generally adult all week.

So give me your best tips for focusing and moving and cleaning when you don’t feel like it!

(and I will rest but the mental health impact of the clutter is bigger than the physical illness plus I think moving will help clear the snots)

imoldgreeeg, 2 months ago

Sun is streaming in my window onto the couch so I have given up any thought of moving, have made a G&T, pulled out the diary and sitting here planning holidays and just chilling.

I imagine this is how normies (ie people whose brains are not filled with depression etc) get to live all the time. It’s nice. I approve.

imoldgreeeg, 2 months ago

illness and wall of text ramblesMy old aunt just rang and told me she has Alzheimer’s…kinda knew it for a while but now confirmed. She is in assisted living and very well cared for but…dang…she is very dear to me and I don’t want her to go through that after such a big strong life. So proud of her for moving into a care home when she got older though. She was so sad about it but knew it was the right thing and she did it on her terms and now she will have support and care. And a more advanced care option when that happens. But …man…

imoldgreeeg, 2 months ago

Oh… Would have been my wedding anniversary today… I feel … Ok. Will always have residual anger-sadness that I wasn’t a ‘good enough woman’ and melancholy that the whole thing left me very never wanting to do it again. But at peace. And as these things go it was amicable and as good as it could be.

imoldgreeeg, 2 months ago

Wow. I am wrecked. That was a hectic week and I have nothing left. Want to be productive round the house…want to go out in the sun. Could barely muster up the energy to make lunch. Bed and movies this afternoon I think.

imoldgreeeg, 2 months ago

Be gentle with yourselves today folks. It’s been a long week but it’s finally a beautiful sunny autumn day. Treat yo’self. Go on, I give you permission.

imoldgreeeg, 2 months ago

This is horrific. There’s no excuse for those cops ‘not knowing’ when they can retain someone and when they are allowed to walk on…that’s literally their job. So sad.

imoldgreeeg, 2 months ago

Apartment clean. Shopping shopped. Fan on and blinds down from the afternoon sun. Think I am gonna have a lil beer to celebrate while I prep some curry bases for the week.

imoldgreeeg, 3 months ago

Lil ladybug clinging onto my leg for moisture at the beach. Beach is very packed and water surprisingly cool still.

lil ladybughttps://aussie.zone/pictrs/image/302380cd-937f-4340-abe8-f25eafd8b71e.jpeg

imoldgreeeg, 3 months ago

Do you ever nick out to get your shopping done only to end up too overwhelmed so you ignore the fresh food and just microwave yourself some preheated cheese on a wrap for lunch?

Because I do. And did.

imoldgreeeg, 3 months ago

Family visiting this weekend and I whipped up a proper lunch for everyone around my table. Realised it’s the first time I have cooked for a group in this new place. And it worked well. It’s a small apartment but everyone fit and chilled and it was really nice. I needed that. 💛

imoldgreeeg, 3 months ago

Yeah the only people I know who have gone to Starlink have done it because they are rural and can’t get close to 100Mbit speeds if they have NBN access at all

imoldgreeeg, 4 months ago

Aahhh have a newbie who needs the office because they haven’t got home internet sorted and I need to go in too to be a good team leader and not make them the only team person braving the weather but I DON’T WANNA go out there…

imoldgreeeg, 4 months ago

There must be a german word for the slight feeling of disappointment when your test results come back negative, and it’s not that you want something bad wrong with you but you do wish someone could tell you why you are so tired and run down lately… (other than just being tired and run down …)

imoldgreeeg, 5 months ago

I struggled to get up this morning and now Marge is gonna start before I have a chance to get out and do my shopping and other chores.

lil mental health rant because I need to work through it.My brain sucks somedays. I don’t know if it’s exhaustion -> depression (so if I rest enough I will eventually get back on top) or the other way around (so maybe I need to push myself to move). Either way there’s dishes in the sink from 2days ago because I haven’t had the executive functioning to unpack the dishwasher and my brain is currently white noise or very unhelpful bad black thoughts or is hyper focused on something that it unrelated to anything helpful). I did manage some yoga/breathing this morning which helps. I have a good doctor and am trying to suss out what’s happening this time round (this is not my first black dog rodeo) but I hate this phase. I look through some of the ADHD stuff on YouTube (don’t have it but there’s some crossover with depression) and it’s helpful but everything related to depression is either explaining what it is or a variant on " how to beat your depression" - dude I just need to get some strategies so I can keep rolling while it sorts itself out.

imoldgreeeg, 5 months ago

I managed to reset the kitchen and living room and chuck clothes in washing machine for when I have a full load. I slept on and off all day and I have had an upset stomach - I think I must be a bit sick so the rest day was frustrating but needed. Rice+egg+soy for dinner then make a list for the week. Then bed

imoldgreeeg, 5 months ago

I am so glad I gave myself a pep talk and booked a solo restaurant lunch today. Was going to do a solo picnic but that would not have worked. Was so anxious about being the weirdo on their own but no-one cares and I have a lovely little treat. And it’s walking distance so no wet roads to deal with.

Cheers all