@Alice@beige.party
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Alice

@Alice@beige.party

Mostly one-liners at my own expense

Awkward AF

Midwest to West Coast

Photos on Pixelfed: @Alice

♾️

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Alice, (edited ) to random
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WHAT'S THE DEAL with people FINALLY realizing Jerry Seinfeld is TERRIBLE?

Alice, to random
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I put the "I" in narcissist.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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TIL it's considered passé to use the word 'banger' with regards to a song. Richard Osman has apparently banned it and as we all know he is in charge of the Engerlish language. However I use banger quite a lot. So now have to come up with a pithy word that hyperbolically highlights my enthusiasm for a piece of music. Can we bring back Nathan Barley? That song is well Mexico.

Alice,
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@TheBreadmonkey If "banger" is out, what else am I supposed to use when referring to everyone's hot moms?

Alice, to random
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My most sincere apologies as I was under the impression that the golden rule was about peeing.

RacerX, to random
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@Alice McDonald's revealed today that Grandma McFlurry tastes like butterscotch and I'm thinking that's very personal information and not the kind of thing you want publicized. 🤔

Alice,
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@RacerX [insert animated gif of Casper from KIDS saying "mmm, butterscotch"]

Alice, to random
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How can they call it a club sandwich when it doesn't even have any baby seals in it?

Alice, to random
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I like to keep my husband grounded by starting all compliments with "I've been with a LOT of men, but you're one of the best at..."

Alice,
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@WhiteCatTamer @danciruli Oh, he read it. He gets it. That's why his comment is funny.

Alice, to random
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I hate starting everything with "My husband and I..." but it's in my prenup.

Alice, to random
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The most common workplace acronym is KISS which apparently stands for Keep It Stupid, Stupid.

Alice, to random
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I’m celebrating Memorial Day by practicing my mnemonic devices.

Alice,
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My mom was the best at coming up with dumb mnemonic devices to help me remember things and one of my favorites was when I was trying to memorize the periodic table and she came up with "A U, that's MY gold!"

Alice,
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Not to be confused with "A G, that's MY silver!"

Alice,
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@SNerd HG wells have mercury poisoning.

mculbertson, to random
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Woot! Just moved over to beige.party, joining all the excellent humans already here.

The character limit is really luxurious over here!

Alice,
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@mculbertson Welcome, bud!

Alice, to random
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My account was hacked by a seven-year-old so I apologize for any offensive jokes that were posted during that 24-hour period of time.

Alice,
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@danciruli 😂

Alice, to random
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As a token of honor and respect for our fallen heroes, I'll be going hard on some bottomless mimosas at Memorial Day brunch.

Alice,
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@rockmastermike 😂🏆

CoachMark, to random
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A couple of questions for the collective:

  1. Does anyone know the name of the Bud Light can/label font?

  2. Can someone put a matching thin blue border around the jersey logo text in the attached image?

@Alice this is pretty close don't you think?

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@CoachMark I don’t have my laptop with me so I can't help with the border, but for the font, there's a helpful website called whatthefont.com where you can upload an image and it will try to find the font or select similar versions.

The Bud Light logo isn't a font and was something that was custom created, but you should be able to get close. I'd mainly focus on something with a similar capital G since that's the most unique letter in the logo.

Alice,
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@CoachMark Oh, also, one of the most distinctive parts of the logo is that the two lines of text are very close together, so I'd try to bring them closer together on the jersey as well.

Also, I’m not sure if the font for the player names on the jerseys is AS important to match the Bud Light font just for a unique G, so you may just want to focus on whichever font has a decent match for the matching letters, such as BUD LI.

Alice,
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@CoachMark @magmora I dropped the image in whatthefont.com and the closest common matches are Franklin Gothic and Univers, both in their "blackest" options.

I can't link to the output due to the way the site works, but you can do the same see if any of their suggestions are options.

I’m not sure how particular you want to get, but I just think the important thing is to focus on the B and the D because I think the D you have is too narrow and not rounded enough.

Alice,
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@CoachMark @magmora It's all siona! Great job!

LibertyForward1, to random
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how long until doctors and lawyers are allowed to quit practicing and start real-ing..

Alice,
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Alice, to random
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My stripper name is Möbius.

Alice,
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@Kierkegaanks @amiserabilist HOLY SHIT!! This is the best day!! Welcome to the beige.party, Paul!

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