@melofthevalley@mstdn.social
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

melofthevalley

@melofthevalley@mstdn.social

Decisions are happening over dinner.
NSFW, probably

๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’™ bi, polyam, all that jazz
she/her

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girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

I'm doing this tomorrow, and I am so prepared: all my little numbered stickers stuck to the right bits of my bike, pannier packed with things I might need, cycling clothes laid out on the bed so I can grab them in the morning. Now to begin the process of completely shitting myself and wishing I had never signed up to do something even vaguely outside my comfort zone. https://www.ridelondon.co.uk/our-rides/ridelondon-essex-60

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet oh cool! Whenever I passed a sign for it this week, I thought of you!

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet yay you! One day a year, they close the Big Road (freeway? interstate?) in Chicago for bikes to do their bike thing :-)

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Letโ€™s start looking forward to it: how will YOU celebrate the utter humiliation and potential annihilation of the Tory party on 4th July?

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet I have just found out you can hire out my local cinema and Iโ€™m wondering about a sex party with a Huuuge swingometer!

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

OK, who's playing Patreon bingo? I got my first smack on the wrist.

It is for an story which was posted on Patreon at the end of last year. Before their guidelines changed.

So yes, they are applying their new rules retroactively. Naughty past me! Should have been able to see the future!

And the reason they've removed it? They think it portrays 'real sex acts with real people.'

Story in next post, I'll let you lot judge.

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet @ej oh no ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข

girlonthenet, to relationships
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

"As a society, we donโ€™t have well-trodden paths and norms for relationships."

Today's fabulous NEW guest blog is about the search for contentment when our standard scripts don't seem to have the answers.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/all-the-what-ifs/

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet Northern Boy, thank you for this:

โ€œWhat Iโ€™ve worked on in the past is how to navigate my feels whilst weโ€™re still without the words and norms for my life.โ€

Various of my squeezes are navigating various things and I donโ€™t have a norm to talk about it in the way I can if itโ€™s my (nesting) partner going through something. Itโ€™s tricky.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

One of my absolute favourite @stuart_cb illustrations today. The 1950's pinup style but with iPhone on the bed is just... chef's kiss. Sorry the blog post turned into something so weird.

1950's housewife / Trashfire

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/1950s-housewife-trashfire/

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet @stuart_cb beautiful pic! Gonna read the post in a minuteโ€ฆ

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet ahhhh, honey. I guess you are not feeling it right now - or werenโ€™t when you wrote this - but you are thoughtful and funny and sexy and fabulous and we are all lucky to have you around. Especially Hot Punk Guy.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

New level of adulting:

Picking a dishwasher setting based on the dishes inside, rather than pressing the same button you always press.

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet fake news! There is but one possibility. Same as for the washing machine ๐Ÿ˜€

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

My lovely pal Jess is staying with me this weekend, weโ€™re just about to get stuck in to ham and cheese croissants. Which reminded me to share this with you, about friendship and love and spunk stories โค๏ธ https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/stories-romance-ham-cheese-croissants/ Any questions for her? Weโ€™ll record another chat to go on Patreon. On sex, relationships, mental health, how to make the best roast dinner...

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet ohh when? I must re listen and think of questions!

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet oh!! I have just started listening to the May 2022 one and I entirely forgot about using the we vibe U-shape thing in that way and now I need to dig mine out ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet itโ€™s so easy to forget brilliant toys!!

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet ok, thatโ€™s a question for Jess then - what toy or device etc do you want to dig out from the bottom of the ottoman ๐Ÿ˜˜ because it has been waaayyyy too long?

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet relistening to the 2022 Jess convos got me through some boring chores this afternoon so everyone is a winner!

girlonthenet, (edited ) to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

UK millennials: if someone handed you a wooden recorder, could you play a song?

(Bonus points in comments if you can tell me which one. This Q brought to you by my confident assertion in group chat that even after 25+ years, I could still smash out Lord of the Dance)

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet Jack Be Nimble. And I could have a fair crack at Morning Has Broken

ElleGray, to random
@ElleGray@mstdn.social avatar

the UK brexiting itself right off the planet

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@ElleGray brilliant

EmiliaRomero, to random
@EmiliaRomero@mastodon.social avatar

I am totally delighted to have this published by @girlonthenet today.

"This is a piece about trust. Itโ€™s a piece about lust and strength and pain and fear and safety."

NSFW, references to sexual assault (in brief though, itโ€™s mostly joyous ๐Ÿ’œ)

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/choose-your-people/

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@EmiliaRomero @girlonthenet woo hoo, so proud to know a brilliant writer and all round fabulous one! Xx

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Do you know what this symbol means?

Obviously it means 'boost/share/retweet', but it functions as something more than that too.

That little button also allows you to feed back to me (and other content producers) about what you enjoy. It means "more like this please!"

๐Ÿงต

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet hello, does it help to reply to a shared blog link or do I need to boost too?

Quote post is the only thing I miss about Twitter, I like to repost with a โ€œwow, love the way X talks about Yโ€ but thatโ€™s not a Masto thing (fair enough, fedi is different)

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Oh also this went up for Patreons yesterday. It's cheesy AF, but there's some good drooly porn bits at the start and end. This was about 6 dates in to my time with Hot Punk Guy.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/last-nights-new-100596836

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet so cute and sexy, love this

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Because it's , every woman is allowed to propose one (1) new law. It must be a silly, low-stakes one which has little impact on society other than to solve one of your pet peeves.

Mine is: 'make it illegal to illustrate articles about female pleasure with photos of someone fingering a piece of fruit.'

WOMEN: what's yours?

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet any establishment selling chips should give mayo
or tomato ketchup sachets for free

Supplemental: which can be opened by fingers and not require scissors, knives or swords to dispense

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

This is subscriber-only and I might subscribe to see Papiโ€™s answer because I think it is screamingly obvious. Points if you can guess exactly what Iโ€™d tell this dude. They will be dispensed when I return from the shops.

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet is your advice, โ€œask her some questions, dammitโ€?? (I promise I havenโ€™t looked at the rest of the thread yet)

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet YESSSSS! What can I spend my points on, is that enough for a free kettle? ๐Ÿ˜€

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Good nail day.

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet those are GORGEOUS!

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Iโ€™ve been awake since 4 in the morning, today is gonna be a really fun day. ๐Ÿ‘

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet itโ€™s cos itโ€™s leap day and your brain is suspicious!

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Whatโ€™s your best piece of relationship advice?

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet when you want a cuddle, ask for a cuddle. Donโ€™t ask your partner if they need a cuddle and be hurt when they say, โ€œno, Iโ€™m good, thanks.โ€

*yes, I have done this exact one๐Ÿ™ƒ.

More generally, recognise your own needs and ask, donโ€™t make an oblique reference and be disappointed that your mind isnโ€™t being read.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Is there a German word for that feeling when the last text in your WhatsApp conversation with your partner is one in which YOU have made an extremely funny joke, and you're waiting with bated breath to see if THEY do a 'rofl' emoji or a 'lol', and you know that if they give no reaction whatsoever, you'll have to have a Serious Conversation About Your Need For More Validation In This Relationship.

melofthevalley,
@melofthevalley@mstdn.social avatar

@girlonthenet I am making up for his emoji lack ๐Ÿ˜€ that is brill ๐ŸŽ‰

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