girlonthenet, to relationships avatar

OK, I know this is silly. But last night I really wanted to talk to you about the aurora...

[NEW BLOG] #relationships #communication #ThisIsNotActuallyAboutTheAurora

SharonCummingsArt, to art avatar
girlonthenet, to relationships avatar

"As a society, we don’t have well-trodden paths and norms for relationships."

Today's fabulous NEW guest blog is about the search for contentment when our standard scripts don't seem to have the answers.

relationships, to relationships avatar
BigAngBlack, to relationships avatar

How a New Dating App Will Help Scientists Understand Romantic Relationships | U-M LSA Department of Psychology

> Romantic are surprisingly poorly understood by science, partly because they are so difficult to study. Amie Gordon and her lab hope a new they are developing will help change that

unseenjapan, to Japan avatar

"The discussion over separate spousal surnames in Japan is highly emotional. Some claim Japan needs to protect the traditional form of family based on the current family registration system. The debate overlooks the impact the current law has on women in Japan…such as myself."

stefan, to random avatar

Is there a more efficient way to check if two accounts follow each other via Mastodon's API, other than fetching followers of both accounts and finding a match?

#MastoDev #development #api

miblo, avatar

@stefan Fairly sure there wasn't (for two accounts other than our own) when I looked into it a bit ago. But it you want "do I and this other person or people follow each other?", I'm pretty sure that's how /accounts/relationships works:

relationships, to relationships avatar
CultureDesk, to Marriage avatar

Once considered taboo due to the mere suggestion that a couple was having premarital sex, cohabitation before marriage is now the norm. “If nursery rhymes are clues to how couples live their lives, ‘first comes love, then comes marriage’ is sorely outdated,” Allie Volpe writes for Vox. Read more about this cultural trend and dive into the question of whether living together before marriage is good for the relationship.

unseenjapan, to Japan avatar

The “gaijin hunter” in Japan has become mythology—albeit one based on truth. Stereotypical gaijin hunters specifically seek out foreigners in their romantic life, sometimes just for a casual fling, other times in pursuit of marriage. But just how real is the gaijin hunter today?

GregCocks, to France avatar

Spatiotemporal Analysis Is 17,000 Years Old – Or Maybe More? <-- shared text <-- shared paper

[Snow and Picquet were not first, as amazing as they were...]
“Geospatial analysis can be traced back as far as 17,000 years ago [or more], to the Lascaux cave in southwestern France. In this cave, Paleolithic artists painted commonly hunted animals and what many experts recently concluded are dots representing the animals’ lunar cycles to note seasonal behavior patterns of prey, such as mating or migration…”

photos - Examples of animal depictions associated with sequences of dots/lines. (a) Aurochs: Lascaux, late period; (b) Aurochs: La Pasiega, late; (c) Horse: Chauvet, late...; (d) Horse: Mayenne-Sciences, early; (e) Red Deer: Lascaux, late; (f) Salmon: Abri du Poisson, early; (g) Salmon (?): Pindal, late; (h) Mammoth: Pindal, early.

SharonCummingsArt, to relationships avatar
siin, to community avatar

When you hold a lot of space and give a lot of energy, sometimes you end up finding that you're surrounded by people who require a lot of space and energy but who aren't capable (for one reason or another) or willing to hold that same space or give that same energy to you.

There is so much to community building that becomes so complicated, and everyone is unhealed in their own ways. Sometimes those ways are compatible with the ways in which you are unhealed: and you find that you are able to hold space for one another, mutually, and that the space you hold doesn't open up into wounds (or it does, but the very act of holding space becomes healing, less self-sacrifice than a pouring into one another). Sometimes, though, those spaces are incompatible, and the opening of space feels like the opening of wounds, and if not at first then after a time, as though something has rubbed you raw right down to the bone after the accumulation of each time you've let it touch you. Sometimes this is just a critical incompatibility, perhaps you aren't the right people to be in community with one another at this time. Sometimes it's the result of someone not being able to recognize the ways in which they demand. Boundary holding is so vital, but often leads to the triggering of maladaptive defenses and sometimes the ending of the relationship you were trying to preserve by setting the boundary in the first place. Some people advocate for boundary setting loudly, but are also the loudest to criticize you and claim you are abandoning or harming them when you do so.

The bringing together of people and the fostering of intersecting relationships requires time and effort and very careful communication and consideration, and is sometimes the rolling of a snowball gently towards the cusp of a hill: from there it flows so holistically and genuinely and easily, and these people find each other and fold each other into their nets and the shared net of the community. Sometimes it is Sisyphus rolling the ball up the hill over and over again until eventually you realize that perhaps one or more of these nodes must exist in satellite to the whole, and will not or does not desire to integrate within it.

Right now I am tired, and feeling as though critical boundaries must be held. A few of the relationships I've spent the past months fostering are crumbling for their own reasons: one because the other person is determined to remain in a power position that I refuse to engage with any further (giving the benefit of the doubt has to stop at some point, but the loss of this relationship impacts more than just me, which is hard) and the other because boundary holding is causing the other person to feel abandoned. After weeks of holding space for this person through a crisis, at the very moment I need that space held this person is pushing away and yet dragging me towards them -- unwilling to hold space but still demanding mine. And I am just tired, and wondering what patterns exist that push me to continue to forge unequal relationships in my own life, or if this is just really how most people are.

#Meditations #Community #Relationships #CommunityBuilding

SharonCummingsArt, to Women avatar
_ohcoco_, to Women avatar

Women’s Unrealistic Expectations 😂 >>>

"Why do #women today expect so much more from #men than women did generations ago?"


unseenjapan, to Japan avatar

You might think that death is “the ultimate divorce”. But some people in Japan go the extra step of officially parting ways from their dearly departed. Here’s why post-death divorce, especially among women, has risen in recent decades.

#japan #unseenjapan #ujwebsite #family #relationships

unseenjapan, to Japan avatar

While the Japanese Constitution aimed for equality with “mutual consent” in marriage, it’s not quite there. Despite strides from the days of male dominance, Japanese marriage remains heavily lopsided. In 2020 a whopping 95.3% of married couples went with the husband’s surname.

unseenjapan, to Japan avatar

ICYMI: Who doesn’t love the idea of nudging fate in a favorable direction? We all cling to the hope that following certain guidelines might bring about something good. That’s where the Japanese concept of enmusubi steps in.

#japan #unseenjapan #ujwebsite #relationships

jeze, to Anime avatar

Truth is I want to get back into . It's a fun medium with all kinds of unique interesting stories.

My hurdle to leap is my ex was obsessed with anime. Twitch and Japanese animation were the only things on his TV at any given time. Normally this wouldn't pose the issue of enjoying an entire sect of entrainment, but I despise my ex. So much so that thinking of his stupid face ruins anime by association.

Have any of you experienced this? How can you get past it?

girlonthenet, to dating avatar

Apps are mostly shit these days, and most of my luck in the last few years has been down to the Fuck Referral Network. But if you're a dude who fancies some casual sex, how do you get women to recommend you to their mates?

I had a go at explaining...

CultureDesk, (edited ) to DadBin avatar

In America, married people get more than 1,000 legal benefits that single people can't access. Vox's Sigal Samuel asks why people in a platonic partnership can't enjoy the same kind of benefits, and why society values friendships less than familial relationships and marriages. Do you have a "best friend?"

CultureDesk, avatar

Aw, 50% of poll respondents say that their romantic partner is their best friend — with the rest of the respondents sharing the love for their one bestie, group of pals or family members. Will the U.S. (or other places) ever recognize friendship as a valid relationship worthy of legal status? Here's a story from Slate about Colorado's Designated Beneficiary Agreements, which recognize and protect relationships of all stripes, and which writer and law professor John Culhane says should be expanded and exported. "Great triumph though it was, marriage equality left too many people out of its embrace. It’s time to change that," he writes.

#Marriage #Relationships #Lifestyle #Partnerships #Friendship #MarriageEquality

_ohcoco_, to Marriage avatar

Michelle On >>>

"Oh, haiiii - it's YOU 👀❤️" 😄

CultureDesk, (edited ) to languagelearning avatar

Many people dread small talk (not us, now tell us about your vacation plans). Human connectivity researcher Georgie Nightingall says it can be a way of building deeper connection, trust and curiosity. “You can actually realize that you do want to know more rather than having that sense of like, I’m just asking for the sake of asking,” she told Vox. Here are some tips on how to improve your small talk abilities. We want to know, how do you feel about the art of chitchat?

_ohcoco_, to relationships avatar

Non-monogamous seem to be in the rise >>>

" isn’t on the verge of collapse – it’s still the arrangement most people prefer. But in some very measurable ways, the institutions that go with it – and the nuclear – are failing us. Those who want to save by saving marriage might be better served by considering just how fragile these institutions become when we expect them to do the work of an entire of people."

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