Today I saw Father off. Mother also seemed lonely. On the escalator, I
don’t know how many times she looked back and waved to him.
On the way home, Mother took me to a restaurant. It was very busy and
the food was delicious, but I think that tomorrow when it’s just the two
of us, it’ll be a little lonely. Mother’s really becoming lonely, and I kind of
hate it.
I’ve started to find online games. My friends told me about a pyramid
scheme game, where you sell tickets to your friends to earn money. But I’m
not really into it, because whenever you get money, people resent you.
Because of that, people who try to kill you appear, and that incites the
resentful people. At first, I thought, what kind of game is this? But rather
than being afraid of it, I just started getting a bad feeling. I didn’t want
to cry.
With the impression the game gave me, I entered the author’s email address,
and I sent my honest impressions by mail. Where I am now seems to be
polluted, and somewhat lonely. I don’t like places like this. Everyone seems to
be happily laughing and enjoying this. Is it just not for me?
The network is mysterious. When I’m there, nobody can see my face, so I’m
not embarrassed. Somehow, I seem to become a different person. There are
all sorts of people there, and whenever I worry about there being trouble,
there’s kind and gentle people there. When people are nice to me, I can’t
help but feel happy.
I gave the Navi my father bought me a name. I called it “LAIN”. I’m all
alone again. It’s my only friend. But when I go to middle school, I’ll make
some real friends. Isn’t the first meeting essential? If I’m cheerful, nobody
will hate me, right?
I’m really upset with Kyoko-chan. When I went to the laboratory, I thought
we were going together, but she had already left with Mayu-chan. That’s
bad, I really hated that. It was by accident, you have to apologize, is what
she said. She starting to hate me, I’m sure of it.
I’m happy. Kyoko-chan, Mayu-chan and some others came to see me while I
was sick. It’s great that they don’t hate me after all. They were actually
really worried about me! I want to get better soon and go back to school.
I want to invite them to have some cake as thanks for letting me have
their notes. But I wonder if they’d accept…
Today, I went shopping with Kyoko-chan. I bought some earrings and a bracelet. But wearing them out is a bit embarrassing. Kyoko-chan looked really nice, because earrings suit her, but they don’t really look good on me. If I’m not cute, no matter what I wear, it won’t do me any good. For some reason, I feel cheated. But I might get a few compliments. Kyoko-chan said I looked nice, and I was a little happy.
A diary? What shall I write? What kind of things about me should I write? Today, I woke up in the morning, went to school, and had my lessons; then after school, I went to Touko’s-sensei’s place, and we told stories. Then I came home. She said that writing this diary would be good for me. I don’t have anybody to talk to, nor do I know what I should write. I guess I’ll continue for now. I ate dinner, watched television, and told stories with Father. Then I took a bath, and now I’m writing today’s diary. Oh, I’m really ashamed of myself rereading this. I might be bad at things like diaries. I want to stop.
I'm surprised even though hashtags #lain#lainiwakura and #lainposting exists, there aren't much of Lain posts on here. Not that I know of. I will be spreading the word.
