I deleted pasts posts with personal information in them after at least two users admitted to doxing me

After two users admitted to doxxing me, and another admitted to digging through all of my past posts and comments, I decided to deleted my past posts. One user put my name, and my husband’s name into a comment box on one of my posts, and then tried to claim he hadn’t doxxed me for that information.

Another user decided to stalk my page, and then followed me to a post about my cat, where he proceeded to tell me I needed mental help for all of my other posts and comments. I called him out for stalking my page and digging through all of my past posts and comments in order to tell me that. I think stalkers need mental help, and a Lemmy user named Steak is totally a stalker. So to prevent people like that from digging through all of my past comments and posts, I have decided to delete many of them. Stalking is a mental illness, and many Lemmy readers don’t want to admit that. I hope readers like him seek mental help. There isn’t something wrong with searching for a missing spouse. There is something wrong with stalking and doxing a woman you’ve never met.

WeirdGoesPro, (edited )
@WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Nobody deserves to be stalked or doxxed, and anybody doing that is in the wrong.

As a separate point, just from what I can see on your profile now, you have put a remarkable amount of identifying information in your Lemmy posts. I’m pretty cavalier about the possibility of someone connecting my account to my identity, but you are orders of magnitude beyond anything I would feel personally comfortable posting. I seriously believe you can protect yourself from these things if you modify your posting habits.

For example, you have photos of your face posted, high school photos that could be shared on other people’s social media, current photos of your head and identifying features, pictures of bills that identify local businesses you use (you didn’t black everything out successfully)…that was just what I noticed in about 10 seconds of glancing. With reverse image searches, it would be trivial to find some of those photos on a classmates Facebook where you have been tagged with your real name.

As a general rule, never post personal media to Lemmy that you intend to post somewhere else (or that someone else may post who can identify you). Once a photo appears in two places, it becomes a lot easier to start connecting dots.

ParabolicMotion,

You mean a picture of me where I am in a group of other people? I didn’t say which person I am in that photo.

ruud,
@ruud@lemmy.world avatar

Hi, I’ll assist. Let me look into this.

Alice,
@Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

Thank you so much for helping her ❤️

ruud,
@ruud@lemmy.world avatar

You’re welcome. And thanks for the interview video, that’s cool :-)

Alice,
@Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

🙌🙌🙌🙌 FuckYeah, man! I’m so glad you liked it and found it funny yay !!! I was so hoping you had watched it too. Lol hahahahahaha

Thanks again and take care !!!

UckyBon,

Please have something that is not automod ban me from your racist white ass fat boi instance! Make clear on the signup that Asians are not allowed. Thanks 🙏

ParabolicMotion,

deleted_by_author

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  • InEnduringGrowStrong,
    @InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works avatar

    That screenshot is also doxxing yourself and should be removed.

    ParabolicMotion,

    No, it really isn’t. My name is blocked out on it. I don’t need to ask myself for permission to screenshot my own inbox. That’s the beauty of being only one person. I don’t need to ask anyone for permission with regard to what I do with my own account.

    InEnduringGrowStrong,
    @InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works avatar

    No, I’m telling you that screenshot contains enough information to identify your name.
    The URL contains what I assume is your husband’s name and what is likely the court case number…
    Blocking your name here is insufficient and identifying you from there is a 1 second affair.

    I personally don’t care about identifying you, but this screenshot is enough for anyone to do so. (Again)

    ParabolicMotion,

    Ah, I see that now. Thank you. For those wondering where my comment went, here is the comment with everything blocked.

    https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8ba14cf8-79cd-448b-b208-317c210f6a4c.jpeg

    WeirdGoesPro,
    @WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    This person seems to have invaded your privacy, but the snippets of their comments make it seem like they were (at least originally) well intentioned and trying to find information about your husband and legal situation. They told you how easily they found information on you and exactly how they did it—this furthers my point that you can avoid this type of thing by modifying your own posting habits.

    In my opinion, from the limited evidence in this screenshot, the other person needs a warning and you need a crash course in basic online safety.

    Again, just to be clear, anybody who doxxes or stalks someone is in the wrong and should be held accountable. Likewise, we should all be accountable for our safety and privacy online also.

    ParabolicMotion,

    Actually, my name and photos of me are online for work related purposes and anyone can see those if they already know my name and profession. It isn’t against online safety for those items to be on public websites. It’s 2024, not the 90’s. I don’t think I need a crash course in online safety. I think people on Lemmy need to follow the rules. If you really want to advocate for online safety, why don’t you discuss how you signed up for Lemmy knowing your IP address would be visible to a bunch of strangers, with no required qualifications or background checks needed to operate and manage the Lemmy site. Do you need a crash course in internet safety? Should we argue everyone should just not have internet? Phones can be tracked really easily. Should everyone give up their phone?

    Cheradenine,

    Your comments can still be seen, even if the posts cannot.

    And deleting them off your home instance does not mean they are necessarily deleted on others.

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    Admins can purge the mod. Log. Ask them to do that. I don’t know why they didn’t. That’s messed up

    ParabolicMotion,

    I reported the comments to the mods, but I never received a reply.

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    Go directly to the server instance admin. They’re the ones operating the software on their computer they should be liable.

    Community mod is just any dumb ass off the street. They only have a ban and remove button and don’t operate or have access to the software and database like SERVER admins do

    I’m not saying that to scold you. I’m just trying to let you know, so you’re aware you know what I mean, that’s all

    Blaze,

    There seems to be only one mod here, and they were last active 8 days ago. You might want to reach out to LW admins.

    ParabolicMotion,

    How do I reach the LW mods via the mobile app? I don’t see a place to find their usernames on here.

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    Girl DM me ill fucking help you seriously hit me up this is ridiculous

    spookex,

    Information posted publicly on a public site is… public, anyone can see and use it.

    Always keep that in mind

    ParabolicMotion,

    I didn’t post my name and my husband’s name. I also didn’t post our court documents. Some Lemmy reader did some internet digging and doxxing to find our names and personal information, and proceeded to publish it in goodoffmychest. He broke the rules. It wasn’t something I had posted on this site. I think you misunderstood my post.

    FigMcLargeHuge,

    I am not going to condone any doxxing behavior, but you definitely made it very easy for these people giving them information that, if they didn’t have, would have probably made it impossible to figure out. So while their behavior isn’t right, I think like others mention in this thread, you have to be very careful with the information you divulge online. Be careful out there.

    ParabolicMotion,

    I didn’t give the person my name to dox.

    FigMcLargeHuge,

    I didn’t say you did. I said you gave them enough information. Like how unique your names are, etc. I was trying to be subtle and not point out those things.

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    You want me to be honest with you? Screenshot all this information, everything you have and take the dam. Lemmy instance owner to court. I mean, fuck them, dude. That’s so shitty. It’s their responsibility to make sure that they mitigate and take down doxing. Type of information and if they can’t do that, they shouldn’t be operating a fucking website. I’m sorry you’re going through this

    ParabolicMotion,

    I did screenshot the person’s comments, or what I could see of them, after deleting my posts. The person clearly posted my first and last name in the link, along with my husband’s name.

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    Jesus Christ. I’m messaging you now. I’ll help you with this

    Blaze,

    Thank you

    seeeem,

    Take them to court for what exactly?

    MrMeowMeow,

    Hey so you obviously have some issues to sort through, so I’m going to respond this once to clear the record, then go back to be blissfully unaware of your existence. You literally did post your name, you shared a PayPal fundraiser begging for money, and that had your name and location in it. Like literally, saying you didn’t post your name is completely wrong.

    ParabolicMotion, (edited )

    You stalked my profile to find that PayPal link, which didn’t have my name displayed, unless you followed my link. I wasn’t begging for money, I simply stated that my cat had major medical bills and that if people wanted to help, it would be appreciated. Last month was financially tough with non-typical expenses, but veterinary bills made it more difficult. You didn’t just see my name on a PayPal link. You used my name to research personal information about me and my family.

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    They have been permanently banned from our instance.

    ParabolicMotion,

    Really? I didn’t even know. Thank you for being concerned and notifying the mods.

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    Of course. Banned from my instance (hilariouschaos.com) I am not sure if it federates to other instances though. So check in with ur home instance (you’re on lemmy.world right?) And report them there. @Ruud is one of the main admins there I believe, and he seems genuine in his efforts in this situation. His comment is top in this thread

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    You don’t need or owe this person an explanation. They are a stranger and mentally unwell.

    I personally wouldn’t engage anymore. Wishing u the best.

    ParabolicMotion,

    Thank you. I appreciate your help!

    Alice,
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    💯❤️

    Alice, (edited )
    @Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

    Are you fucking insane ?

    BACK THE FUCK OFF.

    It doesn’t matter whether she did or did not do that the fact that you are fucking so goddamn persistent over here trying to make some case like you didn’t do a damn thing wrong. Is fucking absolute psychotic out of your mind bullshit. You’re spreading her fucking information and you’re actively doing it on purpose. The fact that you went out of your way and you keep going out of your way to post her shit online is proof of that

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