"If a young woman does not follow the social injunction to have feelings in a sexual relationship, she knows that she risks being called to order, being punished. Or to feel shame or guilt. This burden of the social norm is primarily internalised."
"There is, in all circles, the threatening 'spectre of the faggot'. The determination to appear as 'a man, a real man' and secure one's masculinity, while escaping suspicion of homosexuality, which is considered demeaning and dangerous. Some gay boys from privileged backgrounds have told me that they were in a relationship with a girl at school to give the impression, to cover their tracks."