Gamedev is Easy

Transcript


<span style="color:#323232;">var game = new Game()
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  .EnableMultiplayer()
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  .EnableSpatialAudio()
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  .SetPerformance(Game.Performance.HIGH)
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  .ForEachBug(Bug::AutoFix)
</span><span style="color:#323232;">  .GetWishlists(7000);
</span><span style="color:#323232;">
</span><span style="color:#323232;">game.Release();
</span>
asterfield,

This code is going to make me have a stroke. What language is this? Why does the game object have an internal bug tracker implementation? Does the game force itself into wishlists? If yes, why stop at 7000?

I know I shouldn’t get so mad at a random internet joke but this one makes me twitchy.

umbrella,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

if only those dumb game devs knew

ill send them this code just to be sure

Fades,

Low effort meme

SmilingSolaris,

Lower effort reply

ZILtoid1991,

EnableSpatialAudio()

I thought most games nowadays don’t do any of that, because you can save that CPU time for a little big more frames.

snugglebutt,
@snugglebutt@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Save that CPU time for Denuvo

shiveyarbles,

No no release should be executed first

underisk,
@underisk@lemmy.ml avatar

Another dev who forgot to .AddGameplay()

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

I assume that’s part of the constructor?

HereIAm,

Should really start practicing dependency injection, so you can create any kind of gameplay you want easily!

leaky_shower_thought,

<span style="color:#323232;">@platform('engagement')
</span><span style="color:#323232;">game.Release().then(ninjaNFTandMTXDLC);
</span>

are you feeling it Mr. Crabs?

BaardFigur,

Nice memory leak

scrubbles,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

Psht No wonder AI is taking all of our jobs

savvywolf,
@savvywolf@pawb.social avatar

Whoa, you can’t trust people with that code. You gotta put in a few rootkits and drm to stop filthy pirates and cheats.

LordOfTheChia, (edited )

Reminds me of Coffee Stain Studio’s trailer for the release of Goat MMO Simulator:

youtu.be/WAm5yxQA_HY

BurningTurtle,
@BurningTurtle@programming.dev avatar

Weirdly they often forget to use .EnableCrossplay() and then complain about it being “hard to implement”.

vox,
@vox@sopuli.xyz avatar

well if a game heavily relie s on steam networking stack crossplay may be close to impressiblr to implement without ripping the whole stack out

AnUnusualRelic,
@AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world avatar

Just port Steam to the Nintendo PlayStation.

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

and then complain about it being “hard to implement”.

Ok but seriously, if a completely new dev team picking up a game 20 years after it was originally written for one platform can port it to a new platform with an entire new custom user experience and support optional cross-play, I have no sympathy for developers of modern games designed from the start to run on multiple platforms not supporting cross-play in their game.

msage,

You have to take into account that a big company game is going to by much harder to implement than just a small hobby team game simply because of all the people involved.

What can 5 people do in a year may take more for 500 people, just because of the management overhead. And if that management sucks, it will end up doing way more things it was required to do, yet the original request will not be done well.

MostlyBlindGamer,
@MostlyBlindGamer@rblind.com avatar

I smell a NotImplementedException somewhere.

KoboldCoterie,
@KoboldCoterie@pawb.social avatar

<span style="color:#323232;">catch (Exception e) {
</span><span style="color:#323232;">    Exception.autofix(e);
</span><span style="color:#323232;">}
</span>

Done!

MostlyBlindGamer,
@MostlyBlindGamer@rblind.com avatar

Perfect! Don’t forget to assert the same exception in all the tests.

fckreddit,

It’s everywhere.

MostlyBlindGamer,
@MostlyBlindGamer@rblind.com avatar

I don’t know, at least ‘SetPerformance()’ could throw an argument out of bounds exception.

kamen,

Yep, easy as that, just that each method takes months.

RandomVideos,

How are you implementing bug catching and autofixing in a couple of months

kamen,

Yeah, that part is a bit iffy, but managers and product owners will believe it.

ryehypernova,
@ryehypernova@lemmy.ml avatar

or years in some cases

Malix,
@Malix@sopuli.xyz avatar

c’mon man, you forgot to call .EnableUltraWideSupport()

Scoopta,
@Scoopta@programming.dev avatar

Where’s the .EnableUltraUltraWideSupport(). Gotta have my 48:9 aspect ratio

Scoopta,
@Scoopta@programming.dev avatar

Where’s the .EnableUltraUltraWideSupport(). Gotta have my 48:9 aspect ratio

Daxtron2,

The tech just isn’t there yet to support an extra line 😔

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m pretty sure the Aspect Ratio of the Year is 4:3

mcforest,

Naah, gamedevs hate us more than they love money :(

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