Do your research before partaking in any drug, because all drugs have risks attached to them. It’s just like with prescription drugs, you research the risks and benefits and decide which outweighs the other. You can do significant harm to yourself if you don’t do your research.
Use good sources such as peer reviewed journals for your primary sources because they are backed up by science. Reddit and Lemmy are likely to give you inaccurate information, so it’s wise to use them only when there’s little scientific research for the drug you’re researching (which is somewhat of a red flag in itself, because you don’t know all of what you’re getting into).
There are many risks and interactions that come with almost any drug out there that you’ve got to be aware of before taking anything. Supplements, genetic risk factors, and lifestyle risk factors need to be taken into consideration.
Not saying all drugs are bad, but all I’m saying is that they’re drugs at the end of the day and as such they aren’t to be taken lightly. There can be benefits to using them, but also significant drawbacks.
Do your research, use good judgement, listen to your body, and know your limits.
Illicit (and legal) drugs aren’t a good first option if you’re experiencing problems in your life. Therapy, exercise, building a support network, etc. are much more likely to be helpful long term than drugs are. They’re better off being used as a last resort when all other options have been exhausted.
If you’re in significant distress, Trevor Project offers free 24/7 crisis counseling for LGBTQ people.
Thank you alot for this great bit of advice!, I do have to say while getting information from reddit and lemmy is not ideal, you also can’t expect the average drug user to read papers and its not like the mainstream media/authorities/or schools are providing atequate harmreduction information
ps: if there is any bit of information/resource I should add anywhere, feel free to tell me!
There’s a real helpful book out there called something alone the lines of “The Drug User’s Bible.” Might not be the exact title…lemme see if I can find a PDF of the book somewhere. Think it had a purple cover. I remember it being a great harm reduction resource.
The concept was introduced by terfs as a way to divide trans communities.
Terfs believe there’s no real, neuro-physical reason for trans people to exist, that it’s all a social construct based on how you were raised. The terms truscum/transmed are kind of extensions of a long running campaign to delegitimize trans people in the public eye and undermine the basis for all trans care.
Initially terfs and bigots tried to use rhetoric about how they identified as attack helicopters or nebulas etc. to delegitimize trans people. But when that kind of memeing failed, they realized they could co-opt the term “trans” itself by leveraging non-trans groups who were looking for legitimacy for their anime fetish or who had magical ideas about being part fairy and stuff, basically leading those groups into trans spaces to create disruption.
The idea was to flood trans spaces with these other groups that had nothing to do with being trans and drown out trans voices in their own communities. This is when you start seeing trans people being called “truscum” when they begin pushing back on the idea that being trans is a social invention, rather than a real condition.
It’s kind of had middling results, on one hand, yes you do see the massive social and political backlash against trans people that coincides with them having their voice co-opted by people who have no clear understanding of what being trans is and don’t really care. But on the other hand the support by the medical community has remained pretty solid, since they’re not basing their care on that kind of social stuff.
So, the short of it is; truscum is a term invented to shutdown discussion of the causes behind being trans and the conditions identifying features. It’s shorthand to prevent addressing questions that make some people uncomfortable.
I did the same out of concern for my mental health. It’s unfortunate because online trans spaces are an invaluable way to share resources and support each other even if isolated IRL. Hope this community can be of help.
Well, a combination of events. My son being born sent me into another identity crisis about being a “father”
This led to a relapse into addiction.
Years of therapy, marriage falling apart, suicidality and self hatred while trying to be the best parent I could be. Then one day I realized I was trying to be an ideal mother. Not father. I saw myself as a mother.
All of that boiled into finally getting the courage to Google “how to know I am trans” and I came across the Gender Dysphoria Bible which shattered my egg officially :)
Happy to say that everything in my life that was falling apart is now stronger and healthier. I’m able to love myself, my wife and I are closer than ever, I’m present with my son and am a good parent, been sober for almost 1.5 years. Been a crazy ride!
And in a couple days, I’ll be taking my first dose of E and officially starting my HRT journey ❤️
My egg came pre-cracked. I’ve always had a mind-body disconnect, preferred Polly Pocket to Hot Wheels, and had an eye for women’s fashion. When puberty hit, I knew it was the wrong one and hated every second of it. But this was before I knew the word transgender, before it was recognized as a treatable medical condition. And I allowed myself to be told by my church that this was a bad thing and in no way should I ever come out, and I should live the American Dream instead.
The thing that caused me to actually make a move, though, was crippling dysphoria. The crushing weight of it, built up over decades and with no release valve, made me come out to my wife, who was way more supportive than I expected, and slowly I’m getting to express femininity. Coming out this weekend to my family, the future never looked so bright.
The game is a remake… They just didn’t censor it in the international release this time, like they did in the original. A step forward, but ultimately just one made to undo a previous step back.
No advice from me - just want to say your feelings are valid and it’s not abnormal or bad to have trouble discussing such a deeply personal, vulnerable thing.
I guess just please don’t beat yourself up over it too hard; it’s perfectly understandable to have nerves about such things, and that manifests how you’re describing in a lot more people than you’d think.
Sending internet stranger love, you are valid and I hope you find a path to happiness. You’ll find a solution to this and one day you’ll be the beautiful girl you feel inside, I know it! 💕💜
From the outside, being cis, I can only report what worked for people that I know.
Two things seem to be consistent among the trans, and gay/queer people I’ve known that came out over the years.
The first is that it gets easier every time you do it, the second is that memory and imagination can help that along.
It doesn’t seem to matter whether someone comes out via writing, or in person, or over the phone/camera. Having done it before with safety and good results helps a person have something to focus their mind on to give them confidence that, no matter how it actually turns out, they’re loved, respected, and valued by the people in their lives.
It can help to have an “outing” buddy ready. Not necessarily to be right there with you, if that’s not appropriate, but someone that is present and ready with support and love, even if it goes perfectly. If you have even an ally available, rather than a friend or partner, it can be a big help to know there’s someone out in the car ready to whisk you away, or whatever you arrange for. Again, that is useful no matter how good things go. You have a way to ensure that you can take a break when needed. Coming out can be very emotionally taxing when it’s fully supported and loving in response. It can be overwhelming enough that you might want to go home and relax sooner rather than later.
The process of setting things up with a friend/ally/partner also helps you ready your heart and mind to show the true you with less fear. This actually works for a lot of things tbh, not just coming out. Practice what you want to say, if it’s going to be verbal. If you’re writing, it’s great to have more than one pair of eyes on it, if you aren’t sure about how to phrase things.
If you don’t have an ally locally, reach out online. There’s plenty of people under the rainbow that will try to help, even if it’s just being on the other end of a phone. There’s plenty of folks that will support you even though they aren’t in the same situation because they, we, want you to be safe and happy, and able to be yourself in every way. Everyone deserves that, and I can almost guarantee someone would be your phone buddy with a little planning. Shit, I would, if it came to that, assuming some scheduling discussion ahead of time.
And, hey, do it in your own time and way. There’s practical considerations, of course, but it’s okay to move toward it slowly, or quickly, as needed. When you’re ready, you’re ready.
As a cis mom who came here from All, I agree with the suggestions of writing to your mom. If you want to email or text, type it out, make all the changes you think you want, and send it to yourself first. Then you’ll probably have another edit or two when you read it. After that you can copy paste it into a message to her and send it. Then it’s only fair to give her some time to figure out how to reply to you. A delay isn’t necessarily a bad sign, it can mean she’s trying to find the best words to show support and love. And since she’s gotten the wrong end of the stick already, it’s going to take her a minute to wrap her head around how wrong she was. She may still fail you. But at least in writing you both give each other the space to complete your thoughts.
I remember asking my parents for a therapist via sticky note because I couldn’t bring myself to ask in person. More recently I felt extremely awkward asserting pronouns, so I just said them and left the room.
Some strategies to consider:
Writing. Perhaps not great for back-and-forth, but certainly good for saying what you need to say
Texting or instant messaging. Like writing, but allows easier back-and-forth
Prerecorded message
Explaining to someone else and using them as your courier
You don’t need to be successful on the first try, it might take several. It took me a while to find something I could do. I liked the more distant approach to start, and now I’m starting to get comfortable talking to my family in person about it. The distant-the-getting-closer thing actually describes all my interactions with my family since coming out; I needed the room, and now I’m blossoming and feeling comfortable with them, it’s worked well for me.
Sorry if this is a dumb suggestion, but have you considered writing out what you want to say on a note and handing it to them? Coming out is hard, mine involved me blurting at my mother, flashing her, and running off. I guess I’m saying it doesn’t have to be perfect, as long as you do it when you feel ready.
I’ve never flashed my mum, however I think I have a similarly silly story. My coming out to her was quite hard and we didn’t speak for a few years, that context is important because she didn’t see the changes until after they had all happened.
Anyway, fast forward to the second time seeing her again in person. I went out for dinner with her back in my hometown, and brought my girlfriend along. We were back at my mum’s having some drinks out on the back deck, and I excused myself to the spare bedroom because I desperately needed to take my bra off, which had heavy underwire. Now, my mum is particularly well endowed, and while I pale in comparison I’m still fairly big for a trans femme (DD/E cup). I needed to go to the toilet but I stopped back past the deck, waggled my tits in her direction and said “I guess I have you to blame for these two back problems” and walked off back inside.
Apparently my girlfriend and step-dad were laughing their heads off while my mum turned beet red 😂
Thinking about where I could be now if I had done something back then is always a sign that I’m falling into depression.
The only reason to think about your past is so you can use your experience to make decisions today that will impact your future. The past dead. Let it die and let go of it.
Don’t compare yourself to others - you may have no idea how strong you are, as a result of having to go through all the shit you did just to get here. Others may “have” more, but they don’t appreciate what they have, at which point doesn’t you who fucking earned it have more solidly what you do have? Just my two cents anyways. 💪 ❤️
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