Thank you - I’ll try it out again. I had exactly the same feeling about KDE5 - too fractured, too inconsistent, too many weird options. GNOME just was more polished in that regard. But your post makes me hopeful that KDE 6 fixes these things :)
Overall I’m just happy that Linux has multiple competing DEs which often inspire each other and give great new design ideas. As long as we have GNOME, KDE, Cinnamon, Budgie, Pantheon etc., I will be happy. I have learned lots of things in regards to my design preferences (and about quality of design in general), and I’m glad knowing that I can switch DEs anytime. RIP for Windows/Mac users who don’t have thus luxury.
Yes, exactly - it is the idea of “well, you can gain life experience and serve for the state”. However, it is (rightfully IMO) criticized as just a cheap way of gaining labor forces. I think that German culture is generally more connected with respecting authorities, rules etc., so this attitude of " you need to return something to the community who raised you up" is still prevalent.
Since 2011 the service was not enforced anymore (but not abolished - in German it’s called “ausgesetzt”), but now there is a debate again to reintroduce it in light of the war. I personally am highly skeptical of it, for the exact reasons you outlined. A year ago I have went through the process of refusing to serve in the military in a defense case. We have something here called Kriegsdienstverweigerung: you can refuse to be drafted and serve under arms if it is incompatible with your conscience. I am glad to have went through the process, but I wouldn’t have done so if I were younger; in fact, I probably would’ve been absolutely okay with serving in the military. So instead of training people to shoot, I advocate for providing opportunities for people to learn medicine and science and stuff and leave war to professional soldiers, who aren’t 18- or 19 year old enscripted boys. It is also widely known that lots of guys cheated their way out of serving (e.g. drinking a lot the evening prior, so they make a bad impression on the recruiting officer), so the system was weird anyways. So I think the current debate is between “Russia and China are a threat, we need to get ready to fight, let’s pump up our military production” and “War is no option, our infrastructure is in a state of disrepair, we need to invest into schools and hospitals instead of arms, and drafting teenagers can’t be the solution of the problem”.
I think we have a different view in Europe on it - Germany had a model of national military service until 2011 (with the option of civil service), the Nordic model includes military service etc. So it isn’t completely unimaginable - we just have a different view on the topic.
I think it is an interesting question: why should something be forbidden if it doesn’t directly harm anyone?
In my opinion, it comes down to people feeling unsafe because this kind of media is consumed by other people for (sexual) pleasure. A lot of people in our society had experience with sexual abuse and rape - especially for women the numbers are extremely high. If media with this kind of content is consumed by people for sexual gratification, it may make victims of rape feel very unsafe.
Maybe I can bring an analogy from my own life to clarify my point. I love wearing skirts regularly, most of them are mini skirts. I would feel very unsafe if I would know that one of my friends watches videos of upskirting, even if they are created by an AI. For me, that means that I won’t feel safe around them. Of course you can say “well, but why are you scared of them; they aren’t filming under your skirt, right?” And while I agree, I had my fair experience with catcalling: too many people in society don’t respect my right to wear skirt the way I want them. If I would know a friend watches this kind of content, I would doubt if I can really be safe with them.
I think it isn’t unplausible to assume that for a person who has been sexually abused, knowing that some people enjoy this kind of content would make them feel very unsafe. In case of porn, this usually is media we consume privately and don’t share with others. So no - while I don’t think the act of watching AI porn per se is harming anyone, the consequences for victims of rape absolutely do.
Thank you - I appreciate your input. I’ll also share your comment with my partner, in case she hasn’t followed up this thread. I’ll think about your words.
Got it. Thank you for your comment - I honestly am grateful for it. It is good room for thought, and I’ll think on that and talk to my partner and therapist about this. I’m sure they’ll have additional thoughts on how to move forward.
I especially appreciate you telling me directly what you think. It helps me a lot.
Thank you for your comment on tbr energizing activity! I actually didn’t know that, but now it makes sense why e.g. playing PC games help me relax a lot.
Thank you for your comment - I appreciate your input. And also thank you for letting me know about the blunt part - I think it was important that you wrote it down like that. Sometimes you just need to tell things in a clear way.
I’ve added the context to my original post. It is very interesting that you called me out that my gf already feels cheated on - it hasn’t appeared like that to me, but thinking about it now makes more sense. I think I would also feel at least overstepped if my partner would meet another person and cuddle without my consent. That already creates an emotional background, so to speak.
I already mentioned in another comment that it is very difficult for me to imagine my friend trying to get me to cheat on my gf. It just absolutely doesn’t make sense to me why she would try to do that. You also mention a good point - given our past and her kiss, it is necessary for me to make sure she understand that I am not interested in her. While I don’t think going to the sea is per se bad, and my gf even said she would judge it differently if I went to the sea with another person or with this specific friend on another day, it is my responsibility here to make sure to set boundaries here. Going to the sea in the evening on the birthday of my girlfriend isn’t really a boundary in that regard, is it?
And I also understand your point that you’d ask my gf (if you were her friend) if I’m trying to cheat on her. I think if I’d judge my behavior from the outside, I’d find it at least strange. While for me as an actor here my actions make total and complete sense, I also understand now why the friends of my gf told her that I’m at least trying to cheat on her.
I’m feeling unsure of what to do next. On one hand, it is important that I’m there for my friend - she is not doing well rn at all, and I’m seriously concerned about her physical safety. Events like these, where we go to to the sea, really help her. But also I see the need to draw boundaries for my and my gf’s sake and make my gf feel safe. And I also need to make sure she is doing well.
I care about both of these people, albeit for different reasons. I’m now starting to get concerned about myself, because it just seems like a really difficult dynamic to handle. It helps me to realize that my gf has reason to be upset with my actions and be hurt by them - I clearly breached societal code. I acted in the best way I could, because I care about both people - but what I’ve done wasn’t good.
Thank you for your input. I sincerely appreciate it.
Got it, thank you! I deeply appreciate your feedback on it. I’ve been a bit anxious if I’m the only one who feels this way, but it’s good to know that I’m not.
Don’t get me wrong, I really love my partner and she is an amazing person. I love spending time with her. But I also notice that time alone just has a different quality. So thank you for sharing your experience - I will definitely keep it in mind and clarify to her that she hasn’t done anything wrong at all, it is just my mind which sometimes needs a pause from the input of a specific person.