@TheBreadmonkey@actuallyautistic
You're on the path we've all been on and feeling what we've all felt. Nothing to apologise for. The beginning of the path is rocky to say the least. May I suggest you follow the actuallyautistic hashtag and group, it's for you as for anyone else who thinks they may be or has self-diagnosed, like me, or been officially diagnosed. Even if it turns out that you're not autistic (and personally I wouldn't entirely trust the diagnostic process to give you that answer) you may still learn things that help you to make sense of things, or simply make your life better.