Woke up early, but then went back to sleep - I need to sort out my sleep schedule , I am trying to please too many & do too much in too little time, & that is not working. I am not an early bird, I have been struggling to get to bed before 11pm & that means I’m not getting enough sleep getting up at 4 or 5am.
Also , before I was so ill after Christmas I could survive happily on a daily 6 hours , this no longer seems to be the case.
Herself has been her usual unthinking self , why bother checking that the this or that is done right- we can always depend on the house elf to correct any shortfalls.
Went out to get some walking trousers around 11 - I had not realised just how tubby I have got over Christmas, out of 5 sportswear shops I found 2 pairs of trousers that fit, & only one of those was acceptable. I cannot put into words how low my mood dropped at this revelation, my self image is as bad as it has ever been .
Ok so now I have to grasp the nettle & lose the weight , by what ever means, all other considerations are secondary, I HAVE to lose this weight.
I have chatted with CDP 🧚♀️ today and may have dragged her down with me for which I am so sorry for doing! Sometimes I wish there was a cure for PDD ( yeah sod chronic depression , one has to really persevere to end up with Persistent Depressive Disorder ! ) then I could
I had a venison & chestnut stew as the last meal of a condemned man tonight, from here on in only enough food to keep hunger at bay, a massive reduction in alcohol intake , a change to water being the drink of choice .
Final Thoughts.
Who needs to be happy anyway in this world of woe and tears ?
Storm Isha is not helping either !
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
