ashleyspencer, to random avatar

Neurodivergent authors:

Are you looking to self-publish your books?

The Autistic Innovator is carrying on the mission of Autistic Bookshop (it's closed) and is open for self-publishing with ND authors.

My store has been open for almost 3 years, so author's books will get a lot more exposure to search engines and customers.

People can buy their fidget toys, t-shirts, etc., with a ND author's books.

It's a win-win for everyone.

Aerliss, to random avatar

I didn't go to my uni graduation. I didn't see the point. I particularly didn't see the point in spending what amounted to half a day's pay on minimum wage to hire a hat & gown for the day.

Now I'm wondering if part of it was the urge to not be perceived? I dunno. I have no problem being on stage, or public speaking if I have a script. But the whole marching across stage, recieving some paper, shaking hands, being ME, all while being watched and photographed?

Nah. No thanks.

KatyElphinstone, to random avatar

Why rewards and punishments go a bit wrong with autistic children.

And why behaviorism doesn't actually 'work' 😐 (not for people's mental health and equilibrium anyway!)

Susan60, to actuallyautistic avatar

This speech to parents of autistic children is so poignant.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

chevalier26, to actuallyautistic avatar

What are your thoughts on self-diagnosis being belittled by many in the autistic community?

For clarity, I’m not asking to start a debate, just a genuine discussion. I currently don’t have the option to get a diagnosis, but feel fairly confident that the research I’ve done over the past year and a half has been legitimate and credible.

I don’t feel comfortable saying that I am definitively autistic, but I am ok with saying I’m “self-suspecting.” @actuallyautistic

felyashono, avatar

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic

I’m all in favor of self-diagnosis. I was purely self-diagnosed for a long time, and worked myself into verbal contortions to relate to it.

Now I have a diagnosis. But not really. I never did the full neuropsych eval thing. My autistic-specialized psychologist merely said “yeah. Uh huh. Oh, yeah, you’re autistic!” And that’s plenty good enough for me.

I think I speak for the majority of people here in saying welcome to the community!

chevalier26, avatar

@felyashono @actuallyautistic Well thank you! I am also in favor of self-diagnosis, but some communities out there are unashamedly hostile to it (looking at you, Reddit) and it has made me have self-doubt. But I am glad to know the background of the hashtag…and that I’m not alone in feeling the way I feel 🙂.

janetlogan, avatar


I had a few friends suggest that I take some of the tests available online. Embrace Autism is a good source if you care to do so. I took the AQ, RAADS-R, CAT-Q, and Aspie Quiz. I scored high for traits on all of those tests.

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 211 , Sunday 26/05/2024

A quiet Sunday, some slightly weird chats on Masto but otherwise not a bad day.

Binged ‘Responders’ series 2 .

Final Thoughts.

Nope nothing, nada , nowt.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖


EVDHmn, to actuallyautistic avatar

I had this very odd conjecture thought to my self.

In a sense could there be no such thing as Neurotypical?

As everyone is Neurodiverse.🙄

People are just trying to pretend to do social norms as kids.

People get to adult age, they forget they are pretending.
Get to living
As they get older they don’t care about pretending as much.

Unless they are fundamental pretenders, which are advocates for social norms and traditions.


smote, to KindActions avatar

please help octo! she needs to pay her monthly bills including rent, debt payments, and college expenses. she's struggling with parental abuse. anything helps!


donation links:


neurovagrant, to infosec avatar

Reupping a boost from last week:

“Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew”: Defining Autistic Burnout

First academic/clinical article I've ever seen specifically on autistic burnout, and it rings true. It's particularly validating to see initial confirmation that autistic burnout is its own distinct phenomena, which likely requires its own specific interventions.

ephemeromorph, to random avatar

People to me before my autism diagnosis: You're weird.

People to me after my autism diagnosis: What do you mean you're autistic, you're so normal!

People to me before my autism diagnosis: You sound like a robot lol

Me after my autism diagnosis: I'm autistic, so I tend to speak with flat effect.
People: Oh nooo I don't perceive that in your voice at all


ashleyspencer, to actuallyautistic avatar

Why do they do this.


Kencf618033, avatar

@actuallyautistic Their hemispheres connect in the wrong direction.

ratcatcher, to Autism avatar

Periodic reminder that the @actuallyautistic group and hashtag are intended for discussion BETWEEN AND AMONGST people who are autistic (diagnosed or self-diagnosed) or think they may be.

If you are not autistic, by all means read what is posted, but please respect this as an autistic space and do not post here.

There are plenty of other groups and hashtags under which more general discussion of can take place and can include professionals, academics, non-autistic parents of autistic children and those with a general interest in the subject.

But the second - often overlooked - issue is this:

My fellow autists - when someone who is clearly not themselves autistic does post to the group, PLEASE, PLEASE do not engage (other than politely to explain the purpose of the group and hashtag). I know it's hard, but ultimately it just subverts, dilutes and prolongs discussions which can rapidly become unhelpful and adversarial.

LehtoriTuomo, to actuallyautistic avatar

In the series "so that's an autism thing too": difficulties in cooking. I have hard time coming up with the shopping list outside of the routine things which I always check against a list on my phone. It's especially difficult to plan what particular dishes should be cooked in the following days.

Once I got hang of cooking -- which happened after I had turned 30, almost 35 -- I learned to like cooking when there's no rush and the recipe is clear. I even can improvise, albeit on quite restricted range. However, when my spouse isn't around, I default to microwaving things or eating frozen pizzas.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

dave, to actuallyautistic avatar


I have to admit: I was worried about my trip to Italy. My wife was as well.

It's the first time we've travelled away from home in years - since before COVID - and also the first time since I discovered that I'm Autistic.

I was worried about what unmasking has done to my ability to cope with change, disruption to routine and the chaos and unpredictability of travel.

I used everything that I've learned about being Autistic in the last 10 months, and I actually overestimated how stressful and taxing it would be. By doing so, I planned for a lot of downtime. Taking time off work - and not trying to balance work with travel - has also helped tremendously. It has let me focus on travel and rest.

My wife has a chronic illness, which means she needs just as much - if not more - downtime than I do, which helps avoid conflict between our energy levels and motivation. The pace of our travels seems to work well for both of us.

We planned for two full days in Venice. We spent all day yesterday walking and exploring, and today we're mostly staying in our hotel and recharging. We've both become better tuned to our needs, and we both need this downtime before we move on to the last leg of our trip in Rome.

I do expect this coming week to be a bit more challenging, as I'm returning to work while we're still in Italy. But the last couple of weeks has given me more confidence in my ability to recognize, plan and advocate for my needs, and I'm confident that will carry over into this week as well.


dave, to random avatar


Here's another example of masking sensory preferences because they're considered "childish":

One of my comfort foods is PB or Nutella sandwiches. While in Italy, I found a loaf of sliced white bread that has no crust, and I was shocked at the difference in my experience between this and normal bread with crust. It's so much more enjoyable and less stressful to eat a sandwich without crust.

It made me recall, as a kid, forcing myself to eat the crust because I would be mocked and shamed for cutting it off.

Even now, writing this, I feel a little self conscious. Like someone is going to say, c'mon, is the crust really so bad? How can eating crust possibly be stressful? You're being a wimp/making a big deal out of nothing.

In reality, it's a small thing. Yes, I can force myself to eat it. I've been doing that for 30 years. But all of those little small instances of masking add up.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I actually have a very specific way of eating a sandwich to minimize the discomfort of eating the crust.

Well... lesson learned here: find bread without crust back home, or don't feel shamed for cutting off the crust.

LALegault, to random avatar

Okay, which enthusiast can explain to me (at length even!) how the American aid pier floated away? I am fascinated.

gaveen, avatar

@LALegault if you are actually autistic and wants to ask other autistic people, is the right hashtag.

If you are not autistic and still want to ask autistic people, is something you can use.

If you are neither, and only want to use autistic people as a stereotypical punchline in a joke, you can actually not do that.


LALegault, avatar

@deirdrebeth @gaveen @actuallyautistic

Used 469 times in 7 days Follow G)


@fishidwardrobe @gaveen From a fellow autist... screw off. and @actuallyautistic are not "private spaces" free from non-autists.

Neither was created to "avoid" posts from non-autists, because it's just a slogan calling out people speaking for us without being one of us. The hashtag and group are just trends we've gathered around that are good places to reach our community, either as a member or as someone who's looking to ask actual autistics for input.

Trying to run off @LALegault for asking a genuine and serious question, one in which acknowledges us for who we are (often hyper-interested experts who are chomping at the bit for someone to ask us to info dump about a favorite topic) is more than assinine, it's actively fighting efforts for us to get genuine acceptance in society.

If you want to not be an ass about it just chime in with a "Hey, can you add , we're hoping to get more activity on that tag for this purpose instead of this one to separate out these kinds of questions" or "some of us don't want to see questions not directly relating to the autistic experience and that'll help us filter this out"


@dave @gaveen @LALegault @fishidwardrobe that's the fun thing about community... none of us is individually the authority on these things, it's a matter of consensus, not original intent. Even moreso on a public ActivityPub space, if you want a private space there are options for that.

I remember the tag coming into existence... it wasn't a "space" at all, it was just originally us just speaking out against those who would speak over us. Over time it became a differentiator of referencing us vs the people who would speak over us (ie. in older spaces... <cough>twitter<cough> is flooded with non-autistics speaking on our behalf while is where you find us).

After a while, it started getting used in group names to differentiate us as being autistic led spaces, but not necessarily autistic private spaces.

rebekka_m, to bookstodon avatar

In parallel I do read A Tall History of Sugar [2019] by Curdella Forbes that takes place in rural #Jamaica and starts in the late 1950ies. Seems very promising, being already on page 47! #bookstodon @bookstodon

rebekka_m, avatar

@bookstodon Very strange reading a book with two main characters that both are so heavily coded as , but I don't think this was done on purpose...

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