Looks like i'm being driven out of this funhouse hotel roim. I mean, it'd be nice to trade up for a home that doesn't have cameras, and isn't rigged to prevent me sleeping.
Last friday i walked around the block and someone shouted, "call a lawyer", but i was on a drunk and waited to sober up. I even bought a phone.
Now i'm just paralyzed. How do i have that conversation? "Hi! I'm a cia human experiment from 1975. The feds use me to train local cops not to hate on autistic people. Strangers cheer for me when i walk around the block smoking a joint and Tarantinobposed as a homeless guy to show me support but i'm not allowed contact with humans who don't hate me to the point of barely-contained murder. I'm being driven from my home again. Wtf do i do? PS i don't trust you."
I wish they'd let me out of this disassociative trauma response. I've known how to heal my mind and start my life for 30 years now, it's just that that has always been blocked. I have such a hard time not being angry about that.
My sense of perspective knows that a lot of people are made silent far more harshly, and appreciates. It's why i'm a good sport about the abuse.
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