I can totally relate. Been there many times. Kind of there now to a lesser degree (i.e. not having meltdowns but still so overwhelmed I am battling depression for the umpteenth billionth time and am really discouraged).
Things that help me:
Regular exercise even if light exercise, like walking around the block for 10-30 min. The more I do this per week the better off I am.
Regular sleep; I’m way more mentally tough when rested. I’m a fragile mess if I am too tired plus stressed.
Writing a list. The pile usually looks and feels infinite in my head but finite and thus smaller on paper.
Still, list can be overwhelming. When things are really bad, make three lists:
“OMG MUST DO NOW OR I AM SO FUCKED”
“Need to get this done soon but not fucked yet”
“In the big scheme of things, not that urgent, not that necessary”
And prune any unnecessary items.
E.g. “I really want to finish that one project… But you know what? If I throw in the towel, officially quit, toss it in the bin and never think about it again it is a burden lifted so… fuck it, bye project!”
I tend to overcommit, too, so sometimes it is better to call the friend and just be honest and say it probably won’t get done ever. I get really stressed and guilty when I have favors hanging over my head that I know I won’t have time for.
I’ve got two of those hanging over my head now.
If can help to have a friend help prioritize your list. They can help you be brutal in pruning, and objectively determine what is most urgent.
Then… focus on one super urgent thing at a time.
Helps me to think through the first most basic steps to get started on a scary thing that I want to put off. Instead of trying to climb a mountain, it helps to think of the first steps on the trail, the first obstacle. I mean basic as in, “ok first I need a pencil, then paper” – that level of basic. Once I get started i can keep rolling. It’s all about getting over the emotional hurdle associated with starting…
Also helps to not expect too much of myself.
One accomplishment is all I can muster, most days.
Other days just doing basic hygiene and some days just getting out of bed is an accomplishment.
Occasionally when stars align or I’m not stressed and overwhelmed I can knock out several things.
Of course right now I feel like giving up… So that’s probably not expecting enough lol.
Maybe it would help to have a mutual accountability buddy, where you encourage each other and report progress. That can be motivating in a good way.