I don't talk to my actual father any more. I wish I could tell him I'm grateful for the things he did for me but I'm beyond livid for the ways in which he and my mother fucked each other up and fucked me up twice over in the process. I don't know how to explain why I don't talk to them any more, I don't know how to get them to look beyond their own selfishness and understand how much damage they've caused.
I miss him but also I never want to see his face again.