Ok, so I hooked up with this wild wild wild girl. She wanted to come over and play Zombies Ate my Neighbors. I was about a year sober at this point. I was going to be careful careful.
She showed up with alcohol. At first I was like, “Nah, I’m not gonna drink.” But slowly, she got me there.
So I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face, stretched and yawned, and right in the middle of that yawn it dawned on me. “You did things with that Appalachian dope hooker that a man should only do with his wife!” It was like getting hit in the gut right in the middle of a yawn. That “ooouuuuuhwuh” action. You get it.
I panicked, went and got tested, and thank every fucking god ever worshipped by mankind I was clean.
This meme made me think of that. Gah.
Don’t drink and dopewhore. It could cost you your life. :p